


life may not be fair but it sure is beautiful

by buzuki, welldonedragon



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, but its not genderswap, byulyi lives as a boy, guard byulyi, historic AU, moonsun, princess yong sun, warrior byulyi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-12-17 22:31:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 45,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzuki/pseuds/buzuki, https://archiveofourown.org/users/welldonedragon/pseuds/welldonedragon
Summary: Royal guard Moon Byulyi is forced to live as a man. Princess Kim Yongsun is forced to deal with the consequences.orByulyi's father wants a son so desperately that he pretends Byulyi is one. Amidst all these, she falls in love with Princess Kim Yong Sun. The worst and best of all, the princess might love her back just a little.





	1. The Begining of a Lie

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a birthday gift to my one and only bra, @fromhogwarts.  
> Happy birthday, you moonsun addict!

It all started on a long winter night, right when a baby's cry tore the dark sky open like a cheap sheet. There were other sounds coming from that house as well. Yelling, crashing, swearing and finally a sword sliding out of its sheath.

Moon Dae Shim, the lion of his majesty, the protector of his country, was screaming in agony. He had another daughter. Once again, he could not provide his king an heir to continue serving him., his bloodline was going to perish.

Thoughts such as these stormed through his mind while his hand was still holding his long sword. He could not let this disgrace be the reality. He could not have all 9 of his children be female. Not when his majesty awaited a boy.

A thought struck him like a lightning. His features darkened as he warningly swung his sword towards the people in the room, three maids, his wife and the midwife.

“My _sons_ name is decided.” He finally spoke. “Moon Dae Hyun graced this world with his grace. My only _son_ , my heir and pride. Do you all understand?”

Even though they all shook their heads in fear, his wife had tears in her eyes as she did so.

And with that he stormed out of the room like the madman he was.

In that moment mother-of-nine couldn't hold herself no more. She wept and wept for hours. Between her sobs, a few words could be heard.

“Your mother is sorry Byulyi-ah. Sorry that you have to be Dae Hyun.”


	2. Boyhood

“Faster Dae Hyun. Your enemy will not wait for you to gain your balance back.” Her father yelled as he swung the wooden sword her way for the hundredth time that day. Little Byulyi, at the age of seven knew how to handle a sword properly, could read and write, could ride a horse with skill and most importantly she was still resembling a boy with her pointy face and sharp cheekbones. What would time do to her appearance was beyond anyone’s knowledge but until then _her_ secret was safe.

_“Why do I have to be a boy, mama?” she asked with caution as her mom bathed her. She was afraid that her mother would get angry at her question, like her father did. “Would father not like me if I lived as a girl?”_

_Her moms hand stilled in her shoulder length hair. Byulyi was preparing for a slap but all she felt was a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face her mother, only to see her eyes filled with tears._

_“Your father loves you Byul-ah. He just loves Dae Hyun more. I’m sorry that you have to be a boy even if you don't want to. It's just the way your destiny is. You are my Moon Byul Yi but to everyone else you are Moon Dae Hyun, son of Moon Dae Shim. Do you understand me, my little star?”_

“Do you understand me boy?” her father asked. “Lift your sword up like this when you are in this kind of a situation.”

Byul nodded meekly as she lifted her sword like her father asked. As the sparing went on for hours her _noona_ watched them from the balcony. Nobody except the people who were in the room that day and only one of her siblings knew the truth.

Moon Tae Yeon was the only person except her mother in Byulyi's life that loved her for who _she_ was. She didn't ask questions when she came from training all sore and bruised, she just prepared a hot bath and helped her wash. She didn't talk much but Byulyi knew that she cared. And that was enough.

“Put your sword away and go wash. Tomorrow we have things to do so dress well.” Her father said as he went through the door. “You will meet the Princess Yong Sun tomorrow, behave.”

She bowed respectfully to her father until he couldn’t see her no more. She sighed with exhaustion, she had a lot to do.

Once she set foot in her room, she discarded all her clothing and grabbed her towel. “Noona! Could you prepare my bath?” she half yelled at Tae Yeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for short episodes T_T but I will update everyday so don't worry.  
> the story tself won't be that long anyways


	3. Tea Time

“You are in the presence of his majesty Kim Ju Kan. Step forward and state your name.”

The man standing next to the throne yelled these things at her father while she and him were bowing deeply in front of the King. Even though she couldn't see, she heard a smile in the king’s voice.

“No need for such things when it comes to my fierce general, lion of the east. You can stand up now Dae Shim.” The king said with a friendly but authoritative voice. “Introduce this young man to me.”

“This is my son Moon Dae Hyun. He is at your service as I am your majesty.” Said her father putting his hand on Byulyi's back. “I've taught him everything that a warrior should now. Now its time he polishes those skills and becomes the greatest warrior these lands have ever seen.”

Byulyi, still her head bowed, blushed lightly at her father's claim. She was good with her sword, she knew that but hearing compliments from her stoic father meant a lot.

“Very well Dae Shim. I trust you to train your boy fully in three years’ time. After that he will become my last daughter's, my sun's personal guard.” The king announced firmly. “Raise your head boy. Do you accept to be Princess Yong Sun's guard? To preserve your grace's honor and safety?”

Byulyi, even though she felt like she could burst under the burning stare of the king, raised her head as well as her voice and with the manliest voice she could manage she replied. “Your wish is my command and you and your family's safety is my duty, your grace.”

The king’s expression softened as he raised his hand. “Bring the princess to meet this fine young man.”

As if she was waiting just outside, the princess came in seconds later.

Byulyi had to admit that this girl was the prettiest one she ever saw. Her eyes shining with life, her hair neatly braided and styled over her head, her silk dress flowing with motion… It was obvious that she was a princess even without being said. As she was walking forward to stand by her father, they locked eyes for the first time. Yong Sun smiled briefly as she climbed those stairs to reach the throne. Byulyi immediately bowed with respect.

“This young boy is Moon Dae Hyun, my sun. Memorize his face for he will be with you for a long time.”

“As you wish, your majesty.” She said with a muffled voice as she examined her with curious eyes. Byulyi, even though she blushed like a flower, kept her head low.

“Now, everyone except General Dae Shim leave the throne room.”

As her father gently nudged her to leave she bowed for the last time before quickly exiting the room, the princess following behind.

“You, Moon Dae Hyun, stop right there.” She heard the princess say. “I would like to talk to you.”

Byul stuttered as she turned to face her. “I don't think that would be appropriate, your grace.”

“I will be the judge of that. Follow me.”

Nothing was left to do but obey the princess, so she did. She followed Yong Sun to a garden, where servants laid down a tea tray as well as cushions for them to sit on.

As the princess sat down gracefully, Byulyi kneeled across from her. There was an awkward silence before the princess finally spoke up. “Why do you look like a girl, Moon Dae Hyun-sshi?”

Byulyi felt the tea slowly go down her throat as she panicked inside. “I have eight older sisters, your grace. It’s a tradition you could say.”

Yong Sun giggled prettily behind her hand. “You are a funny person then.”

Byulyi blushed at the compliment once again. What was happening to her nowadays? “I try to be entertaining, your grace.”

Yong Sun waved her hand towards her. “From what I understand we will be spending a lot of time together, Dae Hyun-sshi. You shouldn’t have to pay your respects in every sentence, that will soon get tiring. You can call me Yong Sun.”

Byulyi bowed her head as she refused. “It will not be seen as appropriate if I speak of you so casually, your grace. I can’t accept that. However, you can call me whatever you desire, my princess.”

Yong Sun’s smile turned into a pout in mere seconds. “You dare to disobey direct orders from your princess, Dae Hyun-sshi?”

Byulyi, still keeping her head down, nodded in shame. This was such a conundrum. “I do, your grace, as I beg for your forgiveness. I am not someone who’s worthy enough to speak so casually. I apologize sincerely.”

Yong Sun, not letting go of her pout, sighed. “Fine then, be all proper for all I care. But until you do as I say I also refuse to call your Dae Hyun-sshi. The name somehow doesn’t suit you anyway.” She said, looking Byulyi directly in the eye. “So I’ll call you Wangohan-sshi, as I so desire.”

Byulyi’s eyes widened with surprise at the nickname. “If you see fit, your grace.”

Yong Sun sighed again in frustration. “When will you become my guard, Wangohan-sshi?”

Byulyi, even though she felt slightly irritated at the nickname, answered politely. “When my training is complete, your grace. Your father, his majesty ordered me to be ready in three years.”

“I don’t suppose I’ll see you much until then. Pity. I enjoyed your company so far.” The princess said with a hint of sadness in her voice. Byulyi couldn’t figure out why would the princess want her by her side so persistently. A princess could demand anyone to be by her side and they would, so why her?

“I suppose, your grace.” Byulyi confirmed. “Although I will be your guard three years later, you can still summon me anytime you desire, my princess.”

Amused by the sudden glint of joy in Yong Sun’s eyes Byulyi smiled brightly. As Yong Sun opened her mouth to speak, a servant rushed down to where they were sitting. Yong Sun gestured her to speak.

“Your grace, I must escort your guest back. General Moon Dae Shim is leaving the palace and requested his son to follow his suit. If you would, Moon Dae Hyun-sshi?” She said, her hand politely pointing at the entrance.

“Very well, Eun Ji. You can take him.” She said as she sipped her tea. She made eye contact with Byulyi as she stood up. “I will wait for the day you guard me, patiently. Please hurry with your training and make sure the princess is safe and sound, Wangohan-sshi. You may leave now.”

Byulyi bowed down once again as her cheeks heated up. “I will, your grace. I wish you a pleasant day.”

Yong Sun, without looking at her face for the last time, ordered her to leave with a wave of her hand, her face blank and beautiful as a porcelain doll.

Byulyi made her way towards outside, feeling her heart beat faster than ever. Today was so strange, she thought, full of blushing and meaningless heart beat acceleration.

Seeing her father at the end of the stairs cleared her mind. She had a lot to do. She was expected to do a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wangohan means stubborn (:


	4. Duty and Longing

_Dear Wangohan-sshi;_

_My servants have told me that you were sent to train to Qin for nine moons, when I tried to summon you to have tea with me. Therefore, I only got loneliness and feeling of false warmth from today’s tea. I am sad that your training is separating us but I am keeping my posture as the princess and acting mature about this. I know that this doesn’t mean that you are gone for good. I am only saddened that I will be having those tea’s that we drink together only by myself. I will be missing you and your oh-so respectful words._

_Sadly, this is the only letter I can send to you during these moons. I would love to hear from you, but do not mistake this wish of mine as a command. I would hate to put you in a tough spot during your training._

_I wish the best of luck to you. I am confident that you will bring our kingdom nothing but pride._

_Princess Yong Sun of the Kim Dynasty, your friend._

 

Byul held the paper neatly while her horse made his way into their kingdoms grounds for the first time in months. She missed everything about home. Her mother’s cooking, Tae Yeon’s silent caretaking, her father’s subtle compliments and having tea with her _friend_.

She felt a blush creeping up to her cheeks, making her too embarrassed even to think. She was not in love with the princess. Just acting as a boy all her life has finally caught up to her and made her see the princess in a different way. A way that made her shine as she walked to their garden, a way that gathered the attention to her crimson lips while she blew the steam of her tea, a way that made her hair glisten under the sunlight as she tucked some of it behind her ear. It was a dangerous and glamorous way.

Her eyes scanned the horizon to guess the distance to the capital. She had at least one more day until she could make it to her home. The things she had missed conquering her thoughts, she became much more determined to make it home early.

She had missed a lot.

* * *

 

“Are you ready to prove yourself young man? Are you enough to protect your princess?” the king asked raising his voice. The day Byulyi has waited since she was 7 had come. She would be put to test in front of the king to be Yong Sun’s guard. She was beaming with anticipation.

“I dare say that I am, your majesty. I will put my life on the line for princess’ safety and honor. I will do my duty if you assign me to it, your highness.” She said bowing while holding her swords handle.

“Then I will challenge you with this country’s finest warriors. If you can unarm or knock down all of them, your duty and destiny will be set beside the princess.” The king said, gesturing for those warriors to come out to the courtyard. “Prove yourself, Moon Dae Hyun.”

 _You can do this, Moon Byul Yi!_ She thought to herself, drawing her sword.

Five man, she counted, armed with swords and daggers were coming towards her like she was a meek prey to be eaten. If Byulyi attacked first she would have a disadvantage so she waited. Her eyes met the princess’ for a second, her brown eyes shaking with fear but her expression giving her the courage she needed. Byulyi nodded her head lightly, she had a fight to win.

One of those men finally drew his sword and charged at her. Byulyi took a second to analize his movement as she dodged his attack. He was obviously a man of sheer power, not very much strategy behind his moves. Byuly smirked, it was too bad for the man, moving without thinking had severe consequences when faced with someone like her. She watched the man gather his balance in the blink of an eye and charge once again. Byulyi knew if she didn’t practice many hours dodging her fathers sword she would be cut in half. This man sure had a lot of strength but Byulyi was fast.

Thanking her teacher back in Qin inside, Byulyi rotated her body as she jumped. Her right foot knocked the mans sword from his grasp and only a second after her left foot collided with his head. He wasn’t knocked out but he lost his sword. Her sword still in her hand, Byulyi pointed at the man’s throat with it the second her feet landed on the ground. He held his hands up and exited the courtyard. Four left, she thought. Two men that looked alike looked at each other a second before they charged together towards her. Using her small built to her advantage she quickly dodged them as well.

These two kept her busy for a few minutes before she jumped towards one and placed her hand on his shoulder to jump over him and knock the other out with a kick. This time, thanks to these man being leaner than the man before, the man she kicked fell to the ground, his eye closed. Without wasting a second she swung her sword towards the other and the sound of metal clashing filled her ears. She turned around herself and tried to smash into the man’s stomach with her elbow but he dodged her this time.

A few minutes later the man was laying on the ground, his hands in the air, his sword away from him and Byulyi’s at his throat.

Overwhelmed with a fake sense of victory, she missed the way one of the two men left standing was making his way towards her. The man wasn't that well-built this time, he was somehow skinny which made him move more freely. He was so fast that Byulyi didn't even see his sword coming straight at her. The weapon crashed at her skull with a loud thud.   
For a few seconds, all Byulyi could hear was her own heartbeats and princess' anxious screams. Terrified of disappointing her princess, she got back on her feet as quickly as she could and tried to control her breathing. She was capable of winning this fight.   
Even though the two men were teaming up against her she didn't feel scared. Gathering up all of her rage and desire to win she attacked.


	5. Blood of a Young Boy

“Your skills have progressed from what I can tell, Wangohan-sshi. Still, you had me worried with the blows you took. Are you sure you are fine?” Princess said as she poured Byulyi’ tea. Anxiety filled her eyes, even if she tried to hide it behind the mask of royalty. Byulyi looked at the princess with affection.

“I am well, your grace. Your care has made me better than before. Thank you, my princess.” Byulyi said accepting the tea Yong Sun handed her with both hands. “I have and will continue to polish my skills for your safety, your grace. Don’t worry.”

After Byulyi spoke, silence filled the garden. It was comfortable, like wearing a really old piece of clothing that makes the person feel at ease. These past three years they occasionally spent together made their friendship bloom, in a respectful way of course. Yong Sun was still the princess and Byulyi still a citizen under her father’s rule.

“Now that you are officially my guard, will you stop calling me your grace, Wangohan-sshi?” Yong Sun asked, one of her brows raised to emphasize the question.

“You know very well that I can’t do that, your grace. I offer my apologies for displeasing you.” Byulyi said or repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time during these years.

Yong Sun, her signature frown visible on her expression, sighed as usual. “How about this, you talk as respectfully as you want when there is someone else with us but when we’re alone you call me noona? You would still be respectful but you wouldn’t sound like that you are only tolerating me because of my status.” She proposed, hope present in her eyes. “Are you going to make your princess plead, Dae Hyun-sshi?”

Byulyi, slightly wincing at her name, considered what the princess offered. It was not troublesome to be this respectful during these years but now she would be seeing her everyday. She would arrive at her door before she woke up and leave after she ordered or slept. And calling her noona, even if it was a bit casual, was still respectful.

“Alright, _noona._ I will do as you please. You can still call me Wangohan-sshi if you would like.” Byulyi said accepting her offer.

Yong Sun physically beamed at her words. Her smile lighting up her face and her hands happily tapping against her glass. “Thank you, Dae Hyun.” She said, blushing a little as she dropped the honorifics. “I have thought of a nickname for you, since I’ve told you before, I don’t think Dae Hyun suits you.  If you like it, I will call you that.”

“What is it noona?”

“Since you entered my life, I felt at ease somehow. You make me feel protected. I know that that is your duty but I appreciate it. I only felt like this when I gaze at the night sky and exchange looks with stars before I met you. You became my star, you have risen as the brightest in this long night that we call life. So that’s why I’ve been calling you Byul Gi in my head for a while.” She said looking up at the sky, her tea in her hands. She averted her eyes as she blushed. “Do you like it?”

Byulyi was surprised at how close the princess has come. But more than surprise, a certain dominant emotion stormed its way through Byulyi’s heart. Love.

“I adore it, Yong Sun-noona. Thank you.”

Rest of the evening passed with silence and familiarity as well as sneaked glances and red cheeks.

//|\\\

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a girl, Byul Gi?” asked the princess, her eyes focused on her book. They were reading together as usual in the royal library. It has been a year since Byulyi became her guard, they quickly settled to a pattern. The princess would wake up, greet Byulyi by sticking her head out her door, get ready for the day with her maids, have the morning meal with Byulyi in her balcony then head outside. They would sometimes go for horse riding in secret. Sometimes Yong Sun would disguise and explore the villages. Sometimes they would walk in the palace garden then have tea. Sometimes Yong Sun would have lessons as Byulyi trained with others at the courtyard. And sometimes they would spend the entire day in the library, reading for hours.

“I have, noona. But my sisters made sure that I would get a taste of it. They dressed me up quite a bit.” Byulyi answered truthfully. She may be a woman biologically but she was raised as a man. The thought of living as a woman crossed her mind often.

“It usually is fun to dress up but to live as a woman, I would not wish it upon anyone. The world is cruel towards us. You should count yourself lucky for being born as a boy.”

Byulyi felt her lie claw at her throat as she nodded. “Even if we are spiritually equal, all humans are, our society separates us in many ways, noona. And unfortunately, its almost never fair.” He said with a sigh.

Yong Sun diverted her gaze from her book to look at Byulyi’s face. Her eyes glistened with gratitude and agreement. “You have grown up quite well, haven’t you, Byul Gi? Noona is very proud you see.”

“I am honored, noona.”

They fell right back in their books after that.

//|\\\

Byulyi opened her eyes lazily. She felt drained for some reason. She couldn’t be bothered to get out of her room if it were up to her but she had a duty. She sat up in her bed and threw the covers to  the side. Nothing could prepare her for the sight of her thighs. Her scream traveled to her mouth before she could stop it. Tae Yeon hurried into the room while Byulyi checked herself for injuries. Someone must have sliced her in her sleep somehow. There was blood everywhere.

“Noona, someone must have attacked me. They must have broke in. tell father immediately.” She ordered with panic. Something could be stolen or worse her secret could be uncovered.

Her usually silent sister started to giggle as she strolled to her side. “Byul-ah, you are fine. Don’t worry.” She said reassuringly.

“Are you out of your mind? There is a sharp pain in my stomach and I’m bleeding. How is any of this fine?” she asked angrily as she searched her body.

“Calm down Byul-ah. This is normal for girls. You might be used to being Dae Hyun, but your body knows the truth.” She said getting Byulyi up from the bed. “You just became a woman, little _brother_. This is your moon-cycle. This means that as long as you continue bleeding once a month for like a week, you can carry children. Do you understand?”

Byulyi nodded lightly as she looked at her legs. They were covered in blood.

“Now go and wash. I will clean your bed. I will give you a piece of cloth after you bathe. You must put it right under your private parts. It will soak up the blood. You must change it a few times a day. After that go talk with mother. She will help you.”

“Thank you, noona.” She said, embarrassed a little from not knowing anything like a fool. She made her way towards the bath carefully. Trying not to get caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Byul=star  
> Gi=risen  
> I don't know if these are %100 correct but it says so on the internet so...


	6. Mask of a Pawn

Byulyi was feeling at peace. That was how she felt most of the time these past three years really. The princess was the best company she could ask for. 

She respected her, valued her and the most importantly saw her as a friend. She was not all high and mighty; she was actually pretty down to earth. Something made Byulyi think that she was starving for affection and companionship. So she gave all she could to the princess.

They were sitting on the cushions the servant laid out for them by the lake. The princess insisted on this field trip since the palace was crowded due to one of her sisters getting married. There was no need for the youngest princess, so it seemed.

“Byul Gi-ah, what are you thinking so deeply about? You’re going to drill a hole in your head.” Said Yong Sun smiling. She held a vine in her hand, occasionally eating grapes off of it. “This place is so beautiful, right Byul Gi-ah? If we didn’t have to, I wouldn’t ever go back there.”

Sunrays were falling on her silk hanbok so poetically that Byulyi could swear that she was a painting.

“It is, noona, it truly is.” She said with a sigh. “Sadly we can not stay for that long. They will know that you are gone if we don’t return by sunset.”

Yong Sun playfully threw her a grape. “Yah! Don’t spoil my heaven! I know that already. I’m trying to get much as I can from this place.”

“I’m sorry, noona.” Byulyi said bowing her head. A comfortable silence once again formed between them. Byulyi returned to watching the view. Her hair was less royalty-like at that moment. There was only one accessory on it and it was a simple crown with a sun symbol engraved on it. Her light-pink/white hanbok was slightly wrinkled from horseback riding. She still looked like the definition of grace and beauty. Her face was free of her political mask when they were the only ones around. A smile that Byulyi would die for was permanent on her face at times like these.

“As much as I appreciate your stare, my servant might misunderstand you Byul-ah. She might think that you are having dishonorable thoughts about your princess.” Yong Sun said with a grin, looking at the horizon as she spoke. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Byulyi coughed a little as the tea she suddenly drank too fast burned her throat. “No, your grace, that would be inappropriate. I would never.”

Yong Sun looked at her, amused before she summoned her servant. “Eun Ji, would you look for those wild berries we saw last time? I have a sudden craving for them.”

Eun Ji looked at them with suspicion before she bowed and carried out the given order.

“Noona, why are you like this? You know she will add fire to the rumors as soon as we return. I do not wish to taint your name like that.” Byulyi ranted restlessly. These past years, even if they were peaceful, were filled with rumors. A lot of servants thought that there was something going on between the two, after all the princess sought after the guard company above everyone else’s.

“All they can do is gossip, Byul-ah. All I’m doing is shaking a bone in my hand in front of the dogs. Nothing more.” Yong Sun said with a frown. “You have to keep people who are jealous at bay with false information so that they can never reach the truths. It’s all a part of the political games within the palace. We’re just pawns of it. Sad, really.”

Byulyi felt like there was a lot of distance between them at times like these. She would never be where Yong Sun was standing. She would never know the brutal games of politics. A game Yong Sun participated in since she took her first breath. A game so ugly and unpleasant that it needs the entire countries taxes to wrap it all up in silk and flower essence. A game that leads the princess’ life ruthlessly.

“I offer you my sincerity, noona. You don’t have to be a pawn or a mask with me. You can just be your smile, your tears and your sense of wonder. You don’t have to cover yourself, your mind up. You can be at peace.” Byulyi said with a genuine smile.

Blushing furiously, Yong Sun turned her face towards the lake. “Look who’s talking about feeding the rumors? Who taught you to talk like that Byul-ah? You could fool some poor girls with that kind of a talk.”

“There is not a person who deserves to hear the words I speak to you, noona. No one is worthy enough.”Byulyi said with a smug look. She loved seeing the princess flustered.

“Get me a cup of water, will you Byul-ah? Your sly tongue has tired me.”

Chuckling as she stood up, Byulyi went by the horses to grab the water skin. Going through the bag for some cups, she heard a faint noise, coming from the forest. It could be Eun Ji returning with handful of berries but it never hurts to be careful.

Byulyi put the things she grabbed back and reached for her swords handle. As soon as she did that seven man in all black emerged from the forest, 4 of them circling Byulyi, three of them running towards the princess.

“Run!” Byulyi yelled towards the princess as she sheeted her sword. These were low-lives, bandits, looking for gold probably. They presumably saw the princess sitting there with only one guard and thought this would be and easy win.

They thought wrong, Byulyi said to herself attacking those who were near her. With a few slashes of her sword three of them were down.  As the last one charged at her, the princess was running towards the forest, her dress getting in her way. Byulyi kicked the man in front of him in the chest with all her power to gain time. The man stumbled backwards as Byulyi threw one of the knives she hid in her clothing to the man following Yong Sun. It hit him in the head and knocked him down. The man attacking her had gathered his stance and charged at her again. This time Byulyi had a plan. She dodged the man and ran behind him using her small frame to her advantage. Then it was not a challenge to knock him out with a hit on the head. She wasted no time running towards the princess. The other two catched her by her wrists a few minutes earlier. There was still a distance between Byulyi and those scumbags. One of them stood up to fight with her as the other used his filthy hands to hold the princess. Yong Sun was screaming and struggling with all her power but it didn’t matter. The man was too strong. He grinned down at her wile he teasingly got closer and smelled her scent. That’s it, thought Byulyi, you will die.

The first man came up to her and swung his sword, in the mean time the filth that touched the princess was throwing her on his shoulder and running towards the forest. Byulyi was only seeing red.

She slashed the first man with a swing of her sword, blood spilling everywhere. Without a second thought she ran towards the way the filth took the princess. She thanked god they didn’t gagged the princess, as she followed her screams.

“I’m coming noona, don’t worry!” she yelled as she ran.

Finally she saw the man's back. Byulyi grabbed her second knife and aimed. It hit the back of his head, right next to Yong Sun’s face. The man groaned in pain as he kneeled down, life leaving him. Byulyi ran to catch the princess before she fell.

“Byul-ah!” she cried, hiccupping along the way. “I was so scared! Thank you.”

Byulyi let the princess hug her and cry onto her clothes. “I am sorry noona, I should have defeated them sooner.”

The princess continued to hug her and cry with thankful words. Byulyi looked at the man in the pool of blood in front of them. “You don’t ever need to thank me noona. Your life is the meaning of mine. I will protect you with everything I have.”

Yong Sun sobbed harder onto her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things are getting exciting i guess. By the way they are 13 now. I didnt want to make them older fast becouse Yong Sun would have to get married earlier. U know the ancient tikmes marrying at 15 and all 


	7. Cry for Help

Love wasn't something Byulyi often thought of. Her father made sure of that when he decided that the role of the son of General Moon Dae Shim would be best suited for his daughter. She knew that one day her father would get an offer from a noble man to marry his son to their daughter and he couldn't reject them forever. Byulyi felt sorry for her future arranged wife. They would not have children, just two women growing old together with a secret.

As much as she avoided the thoughts of romance, at times like these it was impossible to escape them. The princess was sitting in front of her, blushing all the way down to her neck, eyes filled with shame and hope at the same time, pleading her to accept something she was yet to ask. How could someone be this mesmerizing, Byulyi honestly didn't know.

  
“What is it that you want me to do, noona?” asked Byulyi, knowing the favor she was about to ask her would be hard on the princess. 

  
The princess was restless since that day they got attacked by the lake. She flinched at the smallest shadow, grew suspicious of every sound. This would have to be about that.   
“Byul Gi-ah am I a burden? A useless porcelain doll that calls herself royalty?” she asked with a whisper. “Because that is exactly the way I feel since then.” 

  
Byulyi watched as the princess drew in a deep breath. “I hate this. I hate being the helpless, whining princess who's only good for dressing up and looking pretty.”

  
“If we hate the way we are born, noona, nothing can make us happy. If we want life to make us content, we have to embrace ourselves. You should know that.” Byulyi offered with a faint voice and a supporting smile.

   
“It's easy for you to say! The talented son of General Moon Dae Shim, who will be wedded to a beautiful girl and will become a mighty General one day. Life must be so hard on you! Being born as a man and all!” Yong Sun yelled at her. Oh, how wrong she was. 

  
“You say this assuming that I want this life.” Whispered Byulyi, even if she understood the Princess' point, she still felt hurt. 

  
“I am sorry, Byul-ah, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I am just tense, I am sorry.” Yong Sun said with a frown. “ I don't  want to be helpless. Help me Byul-ah. Teach me, train me.”

Saying that Byulyi was shocked would be an understatement. She shook her head immediately. “I can't do that, noona. Please don't ask me that.”

  
“Why is that Moon Dae Hyun-sshi? Is my fragile body not capable of throwing a punch? Are my arms too weak to wield a sword? Is it because I am a woman? Are you one of those worthless scums who think they are better than woman just because they were born with a stick between their legs? Are you?” Yong Sun screeched with anger. She was both tense and angry. That was never a good combination.

  
“No, noona, you know I'm not. You know I believe in the equality of spirits.” Byulyi said with a tired voice. “The only difference between you and me is the way we are raised. I am raised to be your guard, your protector, you are raised to be hope and happiness of these lands. There is not one thing I think you are not capable of doing.”

  
“But as you know your father, his majesty, would separate us forever if he ever found out I put a sword in your hand. I will be selfish with this noona. I can not let you go, I can not bear to leave you in someone else’s hands. I can not trust your safety with anyone else.” Said Byulyi raising her voice a bit. 

  
“You are not being fair, Dae Hyun. You know I can only ask this to you.” Yong Sun responded, anger still present in her voice. She saw in Byulyi's face that she wouldn't budge. “Alright then. You asked for this. I refuse to acknowledge your existence until you agree to help me recover from this self-hating desperate mood. Goodbye Dae Hyun.” 

  
Yong Sun got up from her cushion and walked out of the room. Princess couldn't simply get rid of Byulyi but she could be distant. She should have been distant from the start but instead she has shown Byulyi her true self. A person that Moon Byulyi values deeply. A person that makes her life overflow with happiness. 

But at that second she was a person who took away everything from her. She was a person who ruthlessly tore open her chest and ripped her heart to pieces.

  
Moon Dae Hyun got up and followed the princess. The coldness in the air wasn't from the weather. It came from the heartache and anger between the thirteen and the fourteen year old.

 


	8. Touches and Bruises

It has been a week since the princess stopped summoning Byulyi to go outside. She was purposefully staying indoors so that she woulnd't have to have her guard with her. Yong Sun was pretty good at ignoring people.

Dismissing her thoughts, she attacked Min Hyuk with all she got while sweat poured down her face. These last three hours were full of punches, kicks and swearing. As she jumped in the air to deliver a good kick to Min Hyuk’s head, he held her leg and twisted it. She was on the ground the next second.

“Yah, Dae Hyun! What is with you today? This is the legendary hand to hand combat you learned in Qin?” said Min Hyuk holding his hand out to help her get up. “Are you being easy on me?”

“No, hyung. I’m just distracted. Sorry.” She answered as she got up. “The princess is giving me a hard time.”

“Why don’t you just quit and join the forces with us? You want to become a general like your father one day, right? How will you do that if you are stuck being her guard?”

Byulyi sighed as she fastened her loosened belt. “My father wants me to become a general and I like being her guard. It’s just that sometimes I just can’t understand her.”

Min Hyuk laughed and slapped her shoulder. “Woman, you can’t understand their logic, little dongsaeng.”

She frowned at his words but before she could say anything Eun Ji ran to her side.

“Dae Hyun-sshi have you seen the princess?” she asked breathlessly.

“She is supposed to be at the library right now.” Said Byulyi slowly getting worried.

“I’ve checked everywhere and her horse is missing too. I assumed she was with you but others told me you were here for the last th-“

Before she could even finish her sentence, Byulyi rushed to the stables. The princess would likely do something reckless about their dispute. Byulyi groaned as she realized one of her swords that she kept in the stable was gone too. She sometimes wanted to just quit this job.

 

* * *

 

After four hours in the woods didn’t give any clue about the princess, Byulyi decided in panic that she would go to the nearest towns and shop, maybe.

Turning her horse east, she rode with worry and anger towards the closest village. As she reached the gates she heard a voice that seemed to be yelling with anger.

“Thief! This girl right here is a disgraceful thief! She didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was stealing.” She heard the man yell. With a bad feeling brewing inside she headed where the voice was coming from. What she saw a few streets ahead proved that her gut was right.

An old man was dragging Princess Yong Sun by the ear to show her to everyone. The princess was objecting but her complaints weren’t heard by this man. Byulyi rushed to their side.

“What do you think you are doing, old man? Do you have any idea who you are touching?” Byulyi said as she stopped the man by stepping in front of him as soon as she got off her horse. “That person is Kim Yong Sun. Your princess.”

The man’s hold softened with surprise but he was not convinced. “What kind of princess steals food from her citizens?”

“A foolish one that left the palace without any money.” She said locking eyes with the pouting princess. “Look, I will pay for whatever she took and we will not have a problem left.”

The man looked at both of them with stern eyes before releasing the princess and holding his hand out for money. Byulyi payed the man generously and apologized as she bowed.

“That was very immature and irresponsible of you, your grace. I will be sure to report to his majesty as soon as we return to the palace. You should be ashamed of leaving everyone worried about your safety.” Byulyi said as she walked towards her horse. “I apologize if I hurt your feelings but it’s better than losing your trust with lying.”

“I am not coming.” The princess spoke for the first time. “I will continue my quest to find a master who’ll teach me. I’ll go all the way to Qin if necessary.”

Byulyi just wanted slam her head to a wall just then. Why couldn’t she understand? Even if she was her guard, she was still under her father’s rule. She couldn’t just teach the princess how to kill, the king would kill her instead. “Your grace, please don’t make me use force. You know I am loyal to you but this is a matter which is beyond you and me.” Byulyi said, trying to convince the princess. “Please, noona, don’t be so stubborn.”

Yong Sun crossed her arms, a frown still present on her face and she started to walk away without a word. Her plain dress sweeping the ground and gathering dirt, she walked out of Byulyi’s eyesight. With a sigh Byulyi followed her. She directed her horse to princess’ way.

The princess reached her horse once she got to the edge of the forest. Byulyi thought she would get on the horse and try to escape but she just stood next to it.

“Come with me, Dae Hyun.” She said, motioning her to get of her horse and follow her on foot. Byulyi obeyed.

A few minutes later, after the sound and vision of the town was left behind, when it was just the two of them, princess stopped and turned to her. Waiting for her to speak, Byulyi leaned on a tree. But instead of speaking the princess started to undress.

Not knowing what to do, Byulyi averted her eyes as she objected. “Your grace, what are you doing?”

“Look at me Dae Hyun!” she ordered with a shaky voice. Her dress was down to her hips and only thing covering her breasts were her bindings. But that wasn’t the thing that caught Byulyi’s attention. It was the healing bruises all over her waist and ribs. “Look at what he did to me! Look at the reason of my self-hatred! Look at what you’re refusing to help me get over! Do you understand me now?” The princess yelled at her, her voice unstable and her eyes filled with tears. “Every time I see a man, I feel his hands on me. Whenever I am alone I hear his breath taking my scent in like I was a meek prey. The bruises don’t even hurt, only the ghosts of his hands and intentions do. I know what was about to happen if you didn’t save me. I know that I was about to be raped and afterwards maybe killed, sold or traded for gold to my father. I knew that. And I remember that every time I see a man, anytime someone touches me.”

She stopped to breath for a second. Her chest was heaving like she was having trouble breathing, like she was dying inside. Her tears had traveled down to her breasts with shaky lines. When she opened her mouth again her words were accompanied with hiccups.

“So, do you see me? Do you see my misery? I know that you think that you will fight of anything that comes my way. But what if you fail? You are only human, Byul Gi, I know you are talented and often victorious in fights but what if you fail? What if there are too many of them? What if they kill you? Why are you so hesitant to give me a chance to defend myself? Are you afraid that I will not need you and leave you? Because that won’t happen. You mean more to me than my family, Byul Gi.” She raised her eyes to meet Byulyi’s. “So, if I mean anything to you, please, either train me or let me go my way. Please, Byul-ah, I beg you.”

Byulyi wiped the tears she hadn’t felt on her cheeks with her sleeve as she walked to the princess. She grabbed her dress and brought it up for her to wear, careful not to touch her, in case she scared her. The princess accepted her help with teary eyes.

“Noona.” Byulyi said, gulping visibly. “Can I hug you or do I resent you too?”

Yong Sun wrapped her arms around Byulyi’s neck as she buried her head in her chest. “I can never resent you Byul-ah. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Byulyi hugged her back as well as she made her mind. “Just after the sunrise.” She said, voice low as if there were anyone else who could hear them. “We will train just after sunrise starting tomorrow. Nobody will know of this.”

She heard Yong Sun cry with relief as she heard her, her shoulders shaking.

“Thank you, Byul-ah, thank you so much.” Said Yong Sun, tightening their hug.

There wasn’t a grain of regret in Byulyi’s mind as they made their way back to the palace. Only the shame of not realizing the situation sooner and relieving the princess’ pain earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhm yeah sorry for the late update :/ my writing had a stroke, i think
> 
> I am announcing sadly that updates will be less often from now on. don't worry i will finish the story but my classes start next week and its my first year in unversty sooo i don't have any idea if i'll have any time to write. but i will write :)
> 
> so thnx for reading and possibly commenting, and if you guys want the next chapter could be a little fluff or a plot point so i'd like your opinion on that too.
> 
> uhm bye i guess 
> 
> (this note was waaaaay too long wow)


	9. Jolly Ol' Dae Hyun

“Argh!” cried Yong Sun as she swung her sword towards Byulyi with significant effort. Byulyi, feeling a bit annoyed that day, yawned as she dodged her attack.

“I thought we were having improvements, noona. Shame really.”

“Are you forgetting that I am still your princess, Moon Dae Hyun-sshi?” asked Yong Sun as she wiped her sweat off her forehead.

Byulyi snorted mockingly, trying to wire her up. “Well, you are my princess who happens to know how to yield a sword, _poorly_.”

They were standing in a hidden part of the forest that Byulyi discovered during one of her patrol sessions.

Byulyi was looking for herbs for the palace's physician but she got too far from her usual route. She had found this place while she was trying to get back. The area was secluded by huge rocks, disguised as a cave. It was the perfect place to train a princess in secret.

These last two years had been almost hectic with the sneaking out to train and such. The princess, despite being inactive throughout her life, was pretty good with her sword.

“And you are my guard who is apparently going to be a shorty for the rest of his life. You’re even shorter than me!” said Yong sun pettily, attacking her again with both her sword and her words.

"Maybe I'll hit puberty later than the others!" Byulyi argued back, seeming pissed. "Also, this doesn't change the fact that I'm better at fighting than all of those horrendous boys."

"Well, you're a boy too." Yong Sun stated, trying to catch her breath after her attack got blocked again.

“But, I am not horrendous, I am actually quite handsome.” said Byulyi referring to herself with a grin.

“So humble, so gracious.”

Byulyi sighed knowing the princess' relentless teasing won't end anytime soon. So, she stopped her movements, gesturing Yongsun to do the same too. "Noona, let's head back. We've been here for a few hours already. Also, you have another lesson."

It always takes a while to convince Yongsun to stop sparring but Byulyi manages every time. And this one wasn't any different.

“Oh, please, you’re just saying this because I was about to defeat you! I mean you look exhausted to me. Maybe I should show mercy and stop this before you collapse with humiliation.” Yong Sun said dropping her sword as she struggled to breathe. “Now, give me my fancy clothes and go guard the entrance.”

 

* * *

 

The ride back home was pleasant as always with Princess talking her ear off with her infinite rant on uselessness of her lessons with the governess. Byulyi, nearly memorizing every argument she talked about only had to say that she was right whenever she said her name and nod a few times. Even if she adored the princess, sometimes the only thing she longed for was peace and quiet.

The moment she got off her horse she saw her father standing a few meters away from them looking like he just ate a lemon. She escorted the princess back to her room where the instructor Lee Jang Mi was waiting with a stern face. She hurried back to her father, leaving the princess pouting for her attention.

“Welcome, father. What is it that you wanted?” asked Byulyi, bowing deeply.

“Walk with me, son.”

Byulyi followed her father as he ordered, panic slowly building up inside her. What could her father want from her? What would make him come to the palace during these hours? It sure wasn’t chit-chat.

“Dae Hyun, are you aware that your father is the greatest general of this country? Are you aware of the power our house has?” her father asked.

“I am, father.” She answered, keeping her voice thick.

“So, you must have guessed that there will be people who will try to take advantage of that in some ways. Like marriage.”

Byulyi felt like a bucket full of ice-cold water was poured down her head. “M-marriage? But I am only 15! Father, we cannot have that. You know why your _son_ can’t look for a girl to marry.”

Her father turned to her suddenly with anger shown on his face. “Don’t you think I know that Dae Hyun? Don’t you think that I live this shame every day?” he said in a low, threatening voice. “Listen to me without interrupting, _boy_.”

“As I was saying, I got an offer of marriage from Jung Sung Man, the man in charge of the royal treasure. He wanted to marry his daughter, Whee In I believe her name was, to you. He is a very power-hungry, ambitious man with unreliable allies. I want to refuse him but it’s not that simple. He will try to see this happen till the end but if you refuse and say that you will not marry this girl fore you have a duty to do and she would be a distraction, we can get this over with. Understood?”

Struggling to process everything, Byulyi set her anxiety aside with difficulty as she nodded. “Now, he will send his daughter here for a week to stay in our home. His excuse for this is that she never saw the capital and needs guidance here. But she will probably try to seduce you with orders from her father.”

“How old is this girl, Jung Whee In?” Byulyi asked trying to gather her calmness as well as information.

“I believe she is in her 13th winter.” Her father replied even though he wasn’t sure himself. “As I said, reject the girl nicely and we will walk our ways.”

With that her father turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Byulyi with a panic attack pounding in her chest.

 

* * *

 

“Why are you so jittery, Byul-ah? Calm down, will you? I’m trying, okay?” Exclaimed Yong Sun fumingly. Her sweat was running all the way down her back and neck, her breath was racing her movements and her eyes burning with adrenaline as well as anger and frustration.

“I am sorry, noona. I just feel on edge these days. I will be less… violent.” Apologized Byulyi looking down at her feet in shame. Tomorrow the Jung girl would come and she would be expected to guide her through the city. Maybe the girl would flirt with her on her father’s orders or maybe she would be just as uninterested as Byulyi. She genuinely hoped for the second.

“By the way noona, we will not be training tomorrow, your governess scolded me the other day. She is saying that whenever we come from _our trips_ you are way too tired to be learning _the delicate behavior of a graceful woman_ or something like that.” Said Byulyi, snickering at the quote.

“Laugh all you want, _horrendous boy_ , but one day you will be head over heels for a woman and I will smirk at you that day.” Said Yong Sun, once again pulling her sword from its sheath.

“I will accept your mockery, if that day ever comes. Now, position 6 and attack!” said Byulyi, launching forward.

 

* * *

 

“Welcome to the capital, Jung Whee In-sshi. I see that it has already amazed you with its size.” Said Byulyi helping get off of her horse. She was smiling at the younger girl who seemed to be captivated by the view. “Do you have anywhere in your mind or are you leaving the tour to me?” she asked forming an eye-contact.

“I-I am grateful, Moon Dae Hyun-sshi. I will follow your route, thank you very much.” She said, blushing.

Byulyi, noticing the girls stutter, smiled for her to relax. “Then we should get going, Whee In-sshi, we have a lot to see.”

They walked together, with a respectable distance between them, through the market place down town. Whee In proved to be a very curious young girl who stopped at every merchants table to inspect the products. She seemed to be enjoying herself, which made Byulyi a bit happier, she had to admit. Even if she would reject this girl, she still seemed cute, maybe like a little sister.

Hopping from one shop to another, she bought a few gifts here and there, chatted genuinely with the salesperson. She was lovely, filled with positive energy and happiness.

“Dae Hyun-sshi, how does this suit me?” she asked Byulyi, referring to her head. She had worn the rose hairpin from the counter and was blinking rapidly at her with her unbelievably long lashes.

“It looks like it has found the place it belongs, Whee In-sshi.” She said smiling. “How much for this, ajusshi?”

The man slightly bowed and spoke. “It is my gift to the princess’ guard. Long may you serve our country, young man.”

Byulyi felt proud as she saw the 13-year-old-girl look at her with admiration written all over her face. “As much as I’m honored by your loyalty I swore an oath to protect our citizens benefits. Here you go ajusshi, have a good day.” She said leaving a pouch of money and bowing.

“You really are the princess’ guard, Dae Hyun-sshi? How many guards does she have?” asked Whee In as soon as they stepped away from the merchant’s shop.

“She has ten guards, formally but she usually only requests me. We grew up together and we became friends over time.” She said, her tongue stinging at the word friend. She shook her head unnoticeably to dismiss the improper thought. She would never be something more than a guard and a friend to the princess and that was final.

“That is very impressive, it must be such an honor.”

Their conversation trailed off and Byulyi realized that she liked talking to this girl. She was nice to talk to and a very good listener also. She was funny in a way. Her carefree attitude that came later during the day reminded Byulyi that this girl who was offered to her was still a child. Even the thought of it made her shudder.

As they got out of the biggest temple in the city, they saw the sun was about to set.

“Dae Hyun-sshi, can I ask you two favors?” Whee In asked in a sweet voice, looking up to Byulyi.

“Sure, Whee In-sshi.”

“First can I call you oppa? I feel like we know and like each other enough to be a bit more casual.” She asked, blushing furiously. “If I am stepping out of line, please tell me.”

“No, you can call me whatever you like, Whee In-ah.” Byulyi answered. “What is your second wish?”

Whee In played with her fingers as she looked to the ground. “Oppa, can you show me around the palace, if it’s possible?”

Byulyi, even though she was worried that it would be a problem, nodded her head yes, like she was bewitched by this cute little girl. How much fun would she have if she had a sister like her?

The excitement on her face was worth everything. She was visibly vibrating with joy. “Then lead the way, oppa!”

 

* * *

 

“And this is the princess’ garden, Garden of Heavenly Flowers. This is where I spend most of my time, reading and having tea with the princess.” Byulyi said gesturing to the garden in front of them. “Now I will show you the training grounds before we leave but I cannot lead you to the throne room, I’m afraid. I can’t even enter it so casually.”

“This much is more than enough, thank you oppa.” Said Whee In, slightly bending to smell a flower.

“Nothing is troublesome when I’m with such pleasant company, your majesty.” Joked Byulyi, bowing absurdly deep. That seemed to make Whee In laugh her heart out. “Oppa, you’re so funny!” she said between giggles.

“Yes, he tends to be a jokester.” Said an icy-cold voice from a few steps ahead. Then Byulyi turned around to see the Princess, standing by her favorite tree and looking at them with a straight face. Her signature facial impression was targeted at the two, the porcelain princess. That meant trouble. “Jolly ol’ Dae Hyun-oppa, right?”

Byulyi knew she wouldn’t get out of this that easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry to have kept you waiting (｡･･｡)
> 
> first week of universty is finished and so am I. Wish me luck and anyone who's a psychology major or thinking about studying it, high five  (･ω･)v
> 
> I hope you all enjoy seeing jealous!YongSun as much as I do (*＾∀゜)
> 
> Thank you all for reading and possibly commenting. It means the world to me!


	10. Loving a Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys this chapter has mentions of abuse and homophobia, so heads up for that :)

“Princess Yong Sun, this is Jung Whee In, youngest daughter of Jung Sung Man, Keeper of Treasure. She came to visit the city for the first time and the duty was given to me as a tour guide.” Byulyi explained as she gulped loudly. “She was actually hoping to meet you, what a pleasant coincidence!”

Yong Sun, still keeping her neutral face, got closer to them. “Jung Whee In, right? Would you like to have tea, in my garden?”

Whee In, seeming star struck, shook her head furiously as she bowed and followed the princess. Yong Sun gestured her maids to set down a low-table and cushions smoothly as a servant came by to ask which tea would they like.

“Maeshil-cha is my favorite, you wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not, your grace. I also love it.” Said Whee In, occasionally stuttering.

All three of them made a move to settle down at the table when suddenly Yong Sun raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“What are you doing, Moon Dae Hyun-sshi?”

Byul, who was just about to sit on her usual cushion stopped mid-action. “Sitting down, your grace?”

Yong Sun moved her hand to her mouth, a bit too dramatically, and gasped. “You are going to have tea with us while the garden entrance is unguarded and any stranger is free to attack me? What if you can’t notice the attacker and fail to react quickly and I end up dead? How could you live with that?”

Byul, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, bowed and apologized. “You are right, your grace. That was foolish, irresponsible and defiant of me. I apologize sincerely.” She said as she walked to the entrance.

She could see, from the corner of her eye, that they were talking and laughing at something. Whee In, who eventually got over her stuttering and excitement, was joking with the princess.

For the next half hour they chatted as Byulyi stood still at the entrance, her hand on her sword for any kind of danger. Not that anyone but guards could manage to get in the palace this far and carry a weapon.

The garden, as it was well lit with candles and lanterns, was still glowing in light even if it was dark outside. Remembering that she had to take Whee In back to her house, Byulyi walked back to their side.

“Princess, if you wouldn’t mind, I have to take Whee In-ah back home. It is way past her curfew.”

Whee In who was frowning, looked at the princess with a shred of hope in her eyes. Maybe she would ask them to stay a bit more.

“I wouldn’t want to make your family worried, Whee In _-ah._ I hope you get to your home safely. As long as you’re staying here, in the capital, you are always welcome in my garden. There is hardly ever a good company here, no one intelligent enough to talk to, unfortunately.” Yong Sun said with a genuine smile, which Byulyi could see through. She was insulting Byulyi as well as complementing Whee In. She was clever, alright.

“I am honored by your kind words, your grace. I will come back if you will have me. Good night, my princess.” Whee In bowed as she blushed.

Wishing the princess good night, Byulyi led Whee In towards outside.

“She is so nice, oppa! I never thought that someone who’s royalty would be this down-to-earth. You are so lucky to be in her service.

“I am lucky, indeed.” Said Byulyi with a sigh. “She is wonderful, isn’t she?”

Without realizing that Whee In stopped walking, Byulyi took a few more steps.

“Oppa. Are you in love with the princess?” Whee In asked loudly, as if no one was around to hear. Byulyi, eyes widened with surprise and horror, rushed to her side and dragged her to the nearest alley that seemed isolated.

“Are you out of your mind, Whee In-ah? Are you wishing for my death? What if somebody heard you?” Byulyi angrily whispered. “What kind of a question is that?”

“Relax, will you oppa? Nobody heard us. And I asked a real question that I think the answer is positive.” Whee In stated with her arms crossed. “Will your feelings interfere with our marriage?”

Byulyi, nearly choking on her own spit, could barely talk. “What marriage? I didn’t agree to anything! Nothing will happen between us!”

Byulyi regretted her words a bit when she saw Whee In’s eyes got filled with tears. “Are you being serious with me, oppa? You won’t accept me? Why? Is it because I’m ugly? Am I too plain for you?”

Byulyi held her face in her hands and groaned with frustration. “No, you are beautiful, Whee In-ah. You said it yourself, I love the princess.” She said, using Yong Sun as an excuse.

“No, that’s not it. You know you can’t have the princess, you are not irrational.” Whee In said as a-matter-of-fact, her eyes shaky with tears. “Is it because you are a girl?”

“How-you-what are you saying?” said Byulyi, her head getting heavier with every sentence. This was too much.

“I am not stupid. It is obvious that you are not a man. You lack some things.”

Byulyi’s eyes darted to her own crotch with embarrassment.

“No, I meant that little thing boys have in their neck that keeps moving every second.”

“You mean my Adam’s apple?” Byulyi said as she consciously touched her throat. “It’s just not as visible as other guys’. That doesn’t make me a girl. You better apologize.”

“Look, unnie, I’m not going to tell anyone. It’s actually fine by me. I love girls anyway. Just like you.” Said Whee In looking at her with hope.

“No, you are not _just like_ me! I am not allowed to love _anyone_! If I love a boy, they would kill me. If I love a girl and the secret comes out they would kill me and my family.” Byulyi nearly shouted. “So don’t compare yourself to me! You don’t know anything!”

“Oh, really? I don’t know anything? I don’t know what it feels like to love someone and feel guilty about it? I don’t have any idea what it feels like when you can’t just reach the person you love and kiss them, huh? I am ignorant to the feeling of being born as a mistake? Think again, unnie!” shouted back Whee In, equally angered.

“I love girls, okay? I love everything about them, just as I get repulsed by men. But I loved a particular girl, back in my hometown. I loved her with everything I had, I still do. She was my playmate, friend and servant throughout my entire life. Just until a month ago, when I finally convinced her that I loved her for real, I would die for her if she asked, my father found out. He was outraged. He beat me and tried to kill her but I stepped in and managed to save her life. She was exiled and I had to agree to get married right away. So if you reject me, unnie, I won’t live to see another day, probably.”

As Whee In sobbed on her shoulder, Byulyi tried to comfort her. “Please, unnie, help me live. I will help you get over the princess and I will try to forget Hye Jin and love you with all I’ve got. Please. Please…” Whee In trailed on as she cried harder.

“Where was she exiled? Hye Jin?” asked Byulyi, a plan forming in her mind.

“Why?” Whee In asked, a hiccup disturbing her voice.

“Because I hate to see lovers apart.”

Byulyi was going to help Whee In with her love. She would see these girls together, even if that was the last thing she did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hye jin in da scene baby!
> 
> anyway thanks for reading guys and gals ;)


	11. Mind Your Tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys how are you?  
> i know that i've been a horrible author that kept you waiting but i had my reasons!!! college is hard kids!!! i have been basicly living in the library for the past two weeks *in the distance someone yells* ~nerd!~  
> anyway i wanted to make somethings clear. i don't know anything about korean history, traditions or customs. ( 　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ)  
> i will make up stuff as i go and im sorry if it offends my korean readers(?are you there guys?) but i couldn't find the stuff i needed on the internet and i have too much on my plate to dive into the korean culture. this was supposed to be a one shot anyway. 
> 
> so so sorry to write nonsense for this long here's the new chapter (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Byulyi, her hands in her lap in a respectful manner, sat in front of Jung Sung Man and beside her father. They were eating dinner together to finalize this arrangement. Her father, blissfully unaware of his son’s decision, was relaxed and peaceful. In his mind he wouldn’t reject an important figure flat-out and he wouldn’t also have to be related.

  
On the other hand, Jung Sung Man looked simply cold. His eyes were tense and calculating. There was nothing even slightly wrong with him, his dress was flawless, his stance was proper, and his expression was an example for all to follow; blank but polite.  
Even if Byulyi never wanted to be related to this man in any way she was in a tight-spot here. She wanted to help Whee In and Hye Jin but also if their plan didn’t go as they well as they wanted she would be married to Whee In for her entire life.

  
Maybe it wouldn’t be bad, Byulyi thought, she and I love other people but what is our chance of uniting with them and be accepted for who we are? We could love each other in time, be happy later maybe.

  
Dismissing her thoughts, she focused on her Kkanpung saewu. This was the courtesy of the Treasure keeper. His pockets reached far as his alliances.

  
“How are things in the guard forces these days, young man? Back in my day it was strict and at its peak. How did the things get corrupted like this I wonder.” The cold man said with a barely-visible frown.

  
“I am not, fortunately, aware of a corruption, Jung Sung Man-sshi. But it may very well be because of my position’s… lonely conditions.”

  
“Ah, yes. The famous lone guard of the youngest princess Kim Yong Sun. And why are you alone in your job exactly? Surely our majesty has more than enough guards that can protect her with you.”

  
Byulyi, slowly starting to feel paranoid from the man’s questions, answered as politely as she could. “Our princess, has deemed me worthy of friendship and honor by giving me the position as her sole guard. Her Grace dislikes being in a crowd, that’s why she requires only one guard.”

  
“Pardon my intrusion but as you know Jung Sung Man-sshi, I am a man of action not kind words and dolled-up sentences. Let’s get to the point, shall we?” Her father said, his impatience showing in his voice. He sure wasn’t a politician.

  
“Very well then. As you know I am offering my daughter, Jung Whee In to your son. This marriage is convenient for both sides. Are you accepting my proposition?” Jung Sung Man asked, with a hint of disdain in his voice.  
“It is not up to me to make decision about a grown man’s life. Dae Hyun, son, what is your opinion?” said Dae Shim looking at his daughter with a sly grin.

  
“Thank you for your understanding, father. I am a man who can make his own decisions and what kind of a man would reject Whee In, a beautiful delicate flower? I am honored to accept your proposal.”

  
A few noticeable things occurred at the same time. Her father’s grin turned upside down and his eyes started to burn with anger. Jung Sung Man, however, was noticbly thrilled.

  
“How wonderful! I may finally have a son to be proud of after all!” he said jokingly. He already had two sons who were working for the majesty as well.

  
“I am happy to cheer you, Jung Sung Man-sshi.”

  
“Congratulations my son. I always support your decisions.” Said her father, his grip unusually tight on her shoulder. He wasn’t happy, alright.

  
“Then let’s celebrate with soju.”

 

* * *

 

“WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, _BOY_? WHO THE FUCK LET YOU SAY YES?” yelled her father as soon as they entered the house, both a little tipsy. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her to her core. “ANSWER ME YOU ROTTEN WENCH!”

“Mind your tongue _old man_.” Slurred Byulyi, poking his chest a bit too drunk and courageous. “You might be my father, but I _am not_ your fucking _son_. I am a woman who has fucking breasts and guess what, no fucking penis! And I’m sick and tired of you pushing me around like some tool for your political games. Isn’t it enough that you force me to live as a man?”

“YOU DARE SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT, BOY? HAVEN’T I THOUGHT YOU ANY RESPECT?” He said, his voice waking up the household. He tried to swing his fist towards her but Byulyi was not a meek prey. She grabbed his fist and in seconds he was on the floor, his arm bent in an unnatural way and his face twisted with alcohol, anger and pain.

“You listen to me, _old man_. I am not that weak little girl anymore. You can’t make me do things with a show of force. I can beat you into a pulp, you are not in shape. You have to treat me with respect or I will spill your dirty secrets to the emperor and you will be executed.” Byulyi said, alcohol in her blood adding fuel to her anger she kept in for years. “I accepted that old chap’s girl because she _knows._ She figured out our secret and she was _fine_ with it. You hear that? She is completely fine with me not having a cock! How often do you run into noble girls suitable for marrying your _daughter_?”

“Stop assuming that I am an idiot who can’t think of anything on her own. I know the political games better than you, had to learn them to hide among them and I know how to play those pawns.”

With those last words she let go of the man’s arm and let him slam to the ground face first. She didn’t even look back to check on him when she closed her door with all her strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, that was angsty  
> by the way that food i mentioned was the courtesy of google  
> Kkanpung saewu (Sweet and spicy shrimp)
> 
> see you guys next chap.  
> bye!


	12. Unpredictable As Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi people! this chapter is from Whee In's POV so dont get confused.
> 
> enjoy!!

A lot of time had passed since her father went to dinner with the general and her _oppa._ Whee In, feeling a little paranoid, started to think that maybe Dae Hyun changed her mind. Maybe she decided that, Whee In just wasn’t worth it. Maybe she regretted ever making plans with her.

Those horrible thoughts ruled her thoughts until the outside door swung open and revealed her father, very much drunk. A few things surprised her; his appearance was distorted; his face was showing emotions and he was smiling. He made his way towards her, nearly tripping over his own dress.

“You did it, huh? You seduced something _without_ a vagina, finally!” he slurred, along with a few giggles. “That boy was smitten, let me tell you! He said you were a delicate flower. Can you fucking believe that? You? Delicate? What a joke.”

His laughter rang through the house for the first time in… well, ever. Even though Whee In felt a little insulted, she didn’t care. Since her father was downright wrong. She nearly laughed as well.

“If I pleased you father, that is enough of a satisfaction for me.” She said, hiding a smirk under her obedient mask.

“Yes, yes. You are great and all that. Now all you have to do is to get close to the princess and do what I asked you to do. Life’s a lot easier if you just do as I say, right little wench?” he said patting her head in a mocking manner.

“Yes, of course. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to sleep. Good night father.” She said between her teeth. It took a lot of will not to bite his hand off but she managed.

She had to be prepared for what was to come. A lot waited them in the future.

 

* * *

 

 “The princess has requested your presence, Whee In-ah.” Said Dae Hyun, looking bored.

Whee In looked at her questioningly. “Why? Is there something wrong or does she just want to have tea?”

Dae Hyun sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s unpredictable as ever.”

Whee In feeling a little nervous, got up on her feet and followed Dae Hyun to the palace where the princess was waiting. The princess didn’t change her facial expression when she saw the two of them approaching but there was a glint of annoyance in her eyes.

“Does she hate me?” asked Whee In with a whisper.

“No, that’s her face sometimes.” Said Dae Hyun jokingly. She stood by the entrance and gestured for her to get in. “Enjoy your tea time.”

Whee In walked towards the princess as respectful and graceful as she could and bowed. “It’s an honor to be here, your highness.”

“It’s a pleasure to have your company. Here, have a seat.” She pointed at the cushion in front of her with a sweet smile.

Whee In did as she was told and let herself to be served a hot cup of tea. Whee In, not knowing how to start a conversation waited for Yong Sun to speak first.

“So how long will I have the pleasure of the company of someone as charming as you Whee In-ah?” Asked Yong Sun pouring herself another cup.

“Oh, thank you for your kind words, your grace. I will be staying longer than I thought. It is a relief that I love the city.” Said Whee In, trying to figure out what the princess was getting at.

“Ah, really? That is good news. I was in dire need of companionship of someone smart.” Said the princess hiding her expression behind her cup. “I realized that I never asked how you and _Byul Gi-ah_ met. Are you two related?”

“Byul Gi? Are you talking about _Dae Hyun-oppa_?  No, we are not related but our fathers led to our meeting.” Said Whee In smiling sweetly while calculating the situation in her head. Why was the princess speaking so casually and possessively of her guard?

“And why is that? Normally fathers don’t make their daughters follow boys like puppies.”

Whee In was speechless for a second. The princess showed her true self for a moment. “That is because we needed to get to know each other.”

“For what?”

“For us to get married.”

There was a long silence between them. The princess’ expression changed slightly. Her lips stopped smiling and her brows were raised a bit. That wasn’t the thing that solved the puzzle for Whee In. It was the look in her eyes that said a lot. Yong Sun loved her guard and that was a horrible twist of fate. She didn’t know the truth, Whee In was sure of that. That meant that the princess was in love with a lie. And that angered Whee In even more. She was going to break Dae Hyun’s heart if she ever found out and if she didn’t Dae Hyun would be still unhappy fore it meant they wouldn’t be together.

“I see. Does he know about this?” Yong Sun asked with a hidden aggression. The way she put her cup on the table was way more vicious than before.

“Of course. He asked me to marry him officially last night. It was very romantic.” Said Whee In trying to sound smitten. “He is such a gentleman, I swear. That speech about how I was the most delicate, beautiful flower he ever saw was just wonderful. I was swept off my feet, really.”

Whee In knew what she said was a lie and a fuel to the princess’ growing anger. But she couldn’t help herself, this was too much fun.

“Congratulations. Now, if you will excuse me I have an urgent business to take care of. Byul Gi-ah will see you out.” The princess said getting up and walking towards her wing of the palace. Her dress’ tail was following her furious steps inside. Whee In chuckled. This was the least she could do for them. This jealousy would be their guide when their plan was over and she was out of the picture.

“Take me home _, oppa_!” she said to Dae Hyun, loud enough for Yong Sun to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah that was some tea. I probably wont write anything till the next weekend.
> 
> sorry dont hate me
> 
> but thanks for reading and commenting(is this working?)
> 
> byeee


	13. Point of No Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy guys! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ THIS AND NOT SKIP IT, THANK YOU!!
> 
> Just wanted to announce a few things;
> 
> 1-I will finish this story but it might take a bit longer than I thought with university putting chains on my feet. (can you guys tell that I just finished proof-reading so that I'm still in the  Z  O  N  E )
> 
> 2-This chapeter contains a lot of swear words so heads up!
> 
> 3-I recently downloaded a rpg game maker program and I started learning how to make games. and if you guys will be interested, i can make a game version of the story once its finihed. but note that it would take A LOT of time for me to do it so i expect you r honest opinion on this. I don't want to waste any time i could waste on memes. thnx (tell me in the comments what you think)
> 
> 4- The 'traditions' in this chapter does not represent korean culture, just my imagination. seriously its all made up.
> 
> 5-And finally this is the longest chapter i've written so appericiate it cause a have to gt up for class in 6 hours. YAY FOR RESPONSIILITIES!!!
> 
> without further ado; enjoy (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Byulyi knew that her life would get harder as she got ready to execute her master plan to see Whee In and her lover unite. She was prepared for it. But what she wasn’t ready for was the princess’ absolute hate and coldness. As soon as Whee In told her about the engagement Yong Sun became the spitting image of a bitter royalty that never looked into the eyes of her servants. She only gave her commands and she got even worse when Jung Sung Man announced that the wedding ceremony would be held in a month in the bride’s hometown. Byulyi physically felt a wave of cold wind coming from the girl in question. 

As the day grew near, Byulyi did everything in her power to let everyone in the capital know she was star struck by the young Whee In. She had to do all she could for their plan to go as smoothly as possible. Every morning when she woke up, she picked flower from a nice field nearby and dropped them of at the Jung house before leaving for guard duties. She payed musicians to serenade for her in the middle of the town, she arranged poets to praise and complement her beauty and personality very publicly, she sent gifts of every kind she could find, books, jewelry, perfume, dresses, shoes… Maybe these were over the top, but she had to, and it was a refreshing feeling to see her father worked up and ready to blow but not having the courage to do so. It was thrilling.

But with every gesture she made to declare her ’love’ for Whee In, the distance between her and the princess grew. Byulyi knew if she listened to her heart she would be down on her knees, begging for forgiveness. She didn’t understand why the princess was acting this way, but she knew her personality. Yong Sun being the youngest of all her siblings and being from another mother, was alone most of the time. She, as observed by Byulyi, only had her guard for a genuine friend. Byulyi hated leaving her alone but she needed to be clear of any palace gossips that have been going around forever. If she wanted to make people believe that she was absolutely swept of the ground by Jung’s daughter, she had to be clear of any other doubts.

Byulyi sighed as she put on her shoes to get out of the house. She had two days until the ceremony and Whee In already left the city to get ready back at her hometown. As the tradition required them, they would not see each other until the ceremony. Byulyi would ride alone to her house on horseback and she would knock on her door thrice. Then her father would open the door and ask why she was there. She would answer truthfully and ask for the price of the door opening.  Byulyi honestly hated this with a burning passion but she already pushed the limits of traditions by meeting, talking and worse, being alone with her before they eloped. She would have to follow the book from now on.

When she got to the palace she found the princess up and ready to go out. They haven’t had a training session since the engagement and Byulyi wasn’t sure how to feel. This could be Yong Sun’s way of forgiving or punishing her.

“Get ready Dae Hyun-ah. We will leave to wander around the forest. I am positively bored out of my mind from sitting all day.” Yong Sun said, not really looking at her. But she dropped the honorifics, so it was a good sign. “Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to accompany and protect me throughout the trip?”

“As you wish, your grace.” Said Byulyi, watching the princess’ eyebrow twitch with annoyance with a secret smile. She gathered her equipment and the princess’ bags to mount them on their horses. Byulyi kept a pair of her clothes in the palace for the princess to wear while training, she got them from her hiding place and she headed back to the stables. The princess was ready to go, waiting on top of her horse.

They didn’t utter a single word until they got out of the palace and city grounds. Byulyi broke the silence.

“It has been a while, since we’ve done this. I’ve missed it.” She said with a sigh, checking Yong Sun’s expression with a subtle look.

“Yes, I’ve missed a lot of things, but I wasn’t aware you still had your brain intact to remember something other than your puppy-love. My apologies, I underestimated your abilities.” The Princess answered with an underlying aggressive tone. Her face wasn’t saying much but her body language was ranting. Her hands gripped the reins way too tightly and her legs didn’t sway casually, they were unmoving.

“I thought you would wait a bit before opening the subject, but I guess you really are unpredictable.” Byulyi said looking straight ahead. “Then, now you can tell me why you hate her guts and want to gut me also?”

The Princess scoffed. “Do you really think I would waste such a strong emotion on a pathetic little girl like her? Be realistic Byul Gi-ah, I have much more important stuff to do. I only find her annoying at best. She is like a blushing, mumbling fool of a leech and I can’t be bothered by those kinds of things.” She said, a bit too spiteful than Byulyi had ever seen her speak. “And about you, I’m just disappointed. I thought you would be smart enough to think with what’s between your eyes not your legs but again it seems I’ve put too much trust in you, you are just a mere man after all.”

Byulyi normally would laugh her insults of but this time she had to say something. Not because she insulted Whee In, rather because she was hiding behind her venomous words to hide her true thoughts and feelings. Byulyi stopped her horse right in front of hers and looked at her in the eye.

“Now if you’re done with spitting poison and bullshit, noona, we can talk honestly. But if you want to act like this a bit more than go ahead, I don’t mind, I’m not the one getting hurt and bothered by it, you are.”

The rage in Yong Sun’s eyes was a new one. Her expression ripped apart her royalty mask and revealed her furious face. “How about you cut the fucking crap, Byul Gi-ah? Do you really think I believe for a split second that you love that girl? Do you really think I’m that stupid? Do you!?” she yelled with anger fueling her voice. “Apparently you do because I’ve never seen you lying this much before. Declaring your ‘love’ for her with every cheesy, cliché way possible, really Byul Gi-ah, really? Don’t you think it’s too obvious that this is all an act? But sure, as long as I’m entirely honest about _my_ feelings there is nothing wrong. You get a free ticket on that. You get to lie and act as if you’re in love. Then you know what, I can act like a bitch all I want.”

With that the princess rode off to their secret place without waiting for Byulyi to follow. Byulyi sighed once more, heavily, as she rode after her.

After she caught up with her, Yong Sun already changed her clothes and was pulling her sword out of its sheath.

“So, this is how you want to sort things out? By steel, sweat and silence?” Byulyi asked loosening her travel cape and setting it on the horse.

“Oh, I thought I would downgrade the issue, so you could understand it too. You know, being the generous princess and all.”

They sneered at each other before swinging their swords. An hour passed before either of them uttered a word.

“You got sloppy.” Said Byulyi, a little out of breath. But she was nothing compared to the princess who was sweating and having troubles breathing.

“You got cocky.” She answered before she charged again with all her strength. They were silent for the rest of that hour.

It was Byulyi, who broke the silence again. “Did you had enough? We have to go back.”

Yong Sun ignoring her words, put her sword back where it belonged and got into the position. She wanted to practice her hand to hand combat. Byulyi sighed for what it seemed like the hundredth time that day. She put the sword back also but didn’t make a move to encourage her.

“Can we go noona, please? Your governess will have my head.” She said as the princess threw her a punch. Dodging her with no effort Byulyi kept her posture neutral. “Do you have to be so stubborn?”

“Do you have to talk so much?” asked the princess, breathing heavily.

“Fine, how about this? We stay here for another hour, but you tell me how you feel, honestly?” offered Byulyi dodging a kick.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had the power to make me do things. I seem to remember that I was the one in charge here but huh, you learn new things every day. “The princess commented sarcastically. “We will stay here as long as I desire. Is that clear?”

Byulyi, even though she hated it when she used the authority card, nodded and obeyed. She was right, she was in charge. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t go extra hard on her.

Next thing the princess knew, she was on the ground with a smug looking Byulyi above her. “Your stance is completely wrong, and your punches don’t draw their power from where it should. Get up and try again.”

For a half an hour this pattern repeated. The princess fell onto the ground more than she could count.

“That kick was too unstable. Try again.”

“You call that a spin? Well, I call it a dainty little swirl. Try again.”

“Dodging isn’t your strong suit then?”

What Byulyi didn’t expect was the princess’ ambition to spark up even more. With a sudden movement she jumped and threw a kick at Byulyi’s face. With a reflex, Byulyi grabbed her leg and slammed her down. The princess dropped to the ground with a painful grunt. Byulyi, realizing what she had done, kneeled next to her and held her hand.

“Noona, are you okay? Can you hear me? I’m sorry, it was a ref- “

Her sentenced got interrupted when Yong Sun used her legs to slam her to the ground beside her. Then she got up and held Byulyi’s hand above her head with her left hand while restraining her with poking her neck with her right arm.

“I win.”

For a split second Byulyi forgot everything except the princess. She was sitting on Byulyi’s stomach, her breathing unstable and her sweat running down her face. She seemed victorious and pleased. Byulyi honestly loved that moment.

But it was short lived when the princes suddenly slapped her. “STOP FUCKING DOING THAT BYUL-AH! STOP IT!”

Byulyi, confused by her sudden outburst, got up from the ground as the princess walked away angrily. “Stop doing what?”

“That look you give me. The one filled with everything I yearn for but can’t reach. Just stop fucking doing that!” she responded, nearly hissing. “Stop giving me hope when you already promised to another girl. Stop making me confused. STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS I SHOULDN’T!”

Byulyi, not knowing what to say, stood there like a simpleton. “What kind of things?” she asked before she could stop herself. She knew that this wouldn’t end pleasantly but she couldn’t hold her heart back. She wanted the princess to say the thing she was dying to hear for years. Even if it was built around a lie, she wanted to hear the princess say those words.

“Oh, aren’t you so fucking cocky right now! You seduced not only one girl but also the princess! How brilliant is that, right? You made the princess think how nice it would be to sleep in your arms, spend the nights together, blush from your affection and over all to be in love, that must be something you brag about to your fellow guards right? _That gullible girl, didn’t see it coming when she started looking at me with a different mindset. She had no idea how far into shit she would be in when she looked at my lips with longing_. I bet you thought that. But guess what? You hurt me. With every look, every gesture that shows you care, you just slash my chest open and cut my heart to pieces. But I thought, hey, it doesn’t matter, he’ll be my guard, at least I don’t have to share him.”

Her sobs were interrupting her speech, but she carried on. “And you had to go and bring that little wench, that lovely, intelligent, beautiful and young wench. I prayed, you know, I prayed all night the first time we met at the garden. I prayed that she was your relative visiting. But gods do hate me, so you are to marry her in two days. Tell me, are you fucking happy to hear my honest, raw feelings?”

She was punching Byulyi’s chest when she stopped talking. Her tears streamed down her face, forming sad rivers on her cheeks. She was still mumbling but all Byulyi could pick up was more swear words. She tried to hug her to calm her down.

“I’m sorry, noona, I-I had no idea you returned my feelings.” She whispered. “But I know that you are smart enough to know that, we would be impossible.”

Byulyi felt herself tear up, her words were choking her. She ran her hands up and down, soothingly on Yong Sun’s back. “I swallowed my feelings for you, I ran away from them. I ran away into a marriage that I can’t back out of.”

Yong Sun raised her head to meet her gaze. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. “You can back out of it. You can cancel it. We can be together. I’ll beg my father. I’ll run away with you if I have to. All you have to do is break this thing of with her. Say the word and I’ll be yours.” She pleaded.

Byulyi swallowed hard, hearing those words and still thinking logically was the hardest thing she had ever done.

“I can’t. I can’t break my promise.” She whispered back.

“Please?” the princess asked getting closer, holding Byulyi’s face in her palms. Byulyi knew if she didn’t stop her know, there was no way she would say no to her.

She quickly got away from her. “If I don’t keep my promises, I am nothing but a shell of a _man_. I am sorry, I truly am. You have no idea how much I want to be yours and you to be mine but we _can’t_. We aren’t allowed to belong to each other.”

Those words shook the princess to her core and Byulyi saw her shatter in front of her. All she said after that was a silent ‘I understand.’.

They didn’t speak after that.

 

* * *

 

“What does the young man desire?” asked Jung Sung Man as the tradition ordered.

“To marry an honorable girl named Jung Whee In. What gets the door open?” Byulyi asked, her soul suffering. This was the point of no return.

“Gold of her weight would open the doors far and wide.” Said the greedy man grinning.

“Will be done as required.” Answered Byulyi, smiling for the crowd and crying on the inside. She would be married in a few hours.

Just not to the person she yearned for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohhh, the angsttttt ╥﹏╥
> 
> sorry to be a jerk
> 
> byeeee ( ・_・)ノ


	14. Damaged Daughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! 
> 
> I wrote this with a virtual gun to my head, which was held by @fromhogwarts so sorry if you notice that it is shitty. I couldn't think of cool, poetic words, idk why.
> 
> but enjoy! (i hope)

“So, nobody knows anything? Not even a clue?” asked Byulyi rubbing her temples to prevent the rising headache. “Then, how do you suppose we can find her Whee In-ah? By magic and fairy dust?”

Whee In, offended by her words, raised her eyebrows and frowned. “YOU came up with this plan and I HAD to go through with it. Don’t turn this on me now. I told you that there is a possibility of no one except father knowing her whereabouts. He is not much of a chatterbox.” She said accusingly. “I’ve asked every member of the staff and even risked my head by asking a few guards. They either lie very well or don’t know anything. I hate to say this, but we might have to do something over the top to gain information from my father.”

Byulyi sat on their bed with annoyance. This was not going according to her plan so far. “I hate this. I was stupid and didn’t think this through. I screwed up and now we have to be toget- ”

Her words got interrupted with a slap on her face. “I know that you are stressed but I mean it really is insulting when I am your ‘screw up’.” She said sitting next to her, arms folded. “Now, tell me what happened with the princess that made you so… not pleasant.”

Byulyi sometimes couldn’t believe how fast this girl deduced things. “We had a… fight, I guess.”

Whee In raised her eyebrows. “You guess?”

Byulyi sighed and told what happened between them as her heart ached where it beat. “And I stopped her from kissing me then she told me she understood but I mean, that look devastated me, Whee In-ah. She was so sad, her eyes were filled with tears and she just put her mask back, not to reveal her true heartbreak. So that is why I just wish death would come sooner.”

Whee In rubbed her back soothingly as she gave her a sympathetic smile. “I don’t want to sound heartless unnie, but it’s better this way. She doesn’t even know your secret. You don’t know how she will react. I know she won’t order your death or anything but she could shatter your heart.”

“I know that but it takes a lot to accept that in here.” Byulyi said gesturing to her heart. “I know that she would reject me if she knew but a part of me is dying and suffering knowing that she is thinking about our marriage and crying over it.”

“This will all be over soon, hopefully. Then you can get back to your push-pull relationship.” Said Whee In, offering a smile. “Cheer up for now, this is supposed to be your wedding night. Guys like that stuff, I guess.”

Laughing at her joke, Byulyi let go of her worries for the second. She was with a friend and she was doing a good thing. Those were the things she should focus on. “Then how do we get your greedy father to talk?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a major plot point of the story just came to a conclusion *sniff sniff*, im a bit emotional :')


	15. Unraveling a Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys the archive is driving me crazy because apparently it didn't show the entire chapter last time so I tried to fix it but it doesn' accept it  
> so that's why i'll be posting the rest of the last chapter and the new chapter together here.  
> You guys can also read it from asian fanfics ;) same story and username  
> PS!!! this chapter is the masterpiece of @fromhogwarts so thanks buddyyyyy

**Rest of the _Damaged Daughter_**

 

“Good morning, Dae Hyun-ah, son, did you sleep well?” asked Jung Sung Man, sipping his tea with a smirk. He was probably waiting Byulyi to blush and not say anything but she kept her straight face.

“Good morning, Jung Sung Man-sshi. My night was alright. I hope that you also slept well.” Answered Byulyi sitting across from him. “There is this issue I want to discuss with you. It is rather important.”

With that, Byulyi gestured to his guards and the man in front of her understood the message. After the guards left the room, Sung Man raised his eyebrow in silence.

“Where is that whore, Ahn Hye Jin?” Byulyi asked angrily, she had to look furious.

The man choked on his tea for a second, his face was clouded by fear and disgust. “Now, now Dae Hyun-ah, you don’t need to worry about that… incident at all. It’s all taken care of and Whee In won’t even look another woman in the eye anymore. It’s all in the past and it would be a shame if that tiny spec of an incident got in the way of your marriage.” He mumbled, looking ashamed.

“You might think it is over but other people don’t. I’ve heard from maids, villagers and guards that you’ve succeeded to screw me over with your _damaged_ daughter.” Accused Byulyi, her heart broke over those insults. “I want this to be over, now.”

“Don’t make decisions you will regret, Dae Hyun-ah. We can talk and work this out.” He tried pathetically. “Anything you want, say it and consider it done.”

“Tell me where she is, and we won’t have this conversation again. I will personally go and solve this problem by showing Whee In that they can’t ever be together.”

“They won’t see each other ever again, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“As long as that bitch is alive, Whee In-ah will never be completely mine. Tell. Me. Now.” Said Byulyi, her fist hitting the table in a rude matter.

Jung Sung Man looked positively frightened. He was shaking, and his normally neutral face was distorted. He was not a fighter, they both knew that, just a puppet master with a lot of pretty words.

He complied to her order and in a matter of seconds, she held a piece of paper that would take her to the plan’s next step.

 ///

“How was it?” asked Whee In, walking back and forth in the room with worry written all over her face.

“Do you have anyone here that you trust?” Inquired Byulyi. “We have to send a letter first.”

Whee In stopped in her steps and her eyes widened. “You did it? You have her address now?”

Byulyi nodded and Whee In jumped to her arms. “Thank you so much, unnie, I will always be in your debt.”

“We still have a lot to do.” Said Byulyi smiling, as the younger girl bounced with happiness.

“We can trust Heeyeon-unnie. She would never betray me.”

“Then Heeyeon it is.”

 

* * *

 

 “Are you ready to act now, _Moon_ Whee In?” asked Byulyi as they got in front of Hye Jin’s address. She wasn’t there of course but they had to put on a show.

Whee In wrote a letter to Hye Jin saying that she would come for her and still loved her. She asked her to go and hide in the woods by the lake.

Byulyi knocked on the door forcefully as Whee In pretended to whimper and cry a few meters back. The door didn’t open.

“Ahn Hye Jin! Get the fuck out!” she yelled as she punched the door even more fiercely. A small crowd started to form behind them, whispering and gossiping among themselves. “Moon Dae Hyun, member of the majesty’s guards orders you to come out, right now!”

No one answered.

“Uhm, sir, excuse me.” Said a little girl shyly. “Hye Jin-unnie doesn’t live here anymore. She disappeared a few days ago.”

Byulyi, who was waiting for this, turned around and pointed at Whee In accusingly. “This is your doing, right? You warned that little whore, so you could be a hero? ANSWER ME WOMAN!”

Whee In started crying and shaking, she couldn’t even stand up straight. “I didn’t Dae Hyun-ah! Believe me! I wouldn’t betray you like that.”

Byulyi held her arm and rushed towards their horse. “We will find her and you will get it in your tiny head that you can’t ever be together! I will kill her, you hear me? I WILL KILL THAT WENCH!”    

The crowd was watching them with their mouths open. There was no doubt that the news of this would reach the capital before Byulyi did.

They rode off into the forest before anyone could say anything and turned their direction towards the lake. Whee In wiped her tears with excitement as they got closer. She was beaming.

“I can’t believe we made it! You are such a genius unnie!” yelled Whee In as she got faster on her horse. “I love you, unnie, thank you!”

Byulyi, smiling at her childlike joy, felt sad a bit. They couldn’t ever be like them. That took a lot to admit but it was true.

“Hye Jin-ah! Where are you?” Called Whee In as she stood by the lake. Her voice echoed throughout the valley. Byulyi got off her horse with panic and covered Whee In’s mouth with her hands. “What the hell are you doing? Someone might have followed us!”

“Step away from the girl right this second, you bastard.” Said a voice behind them. Byulyi felt the tip of a spear on her back.

“Ahn Hye Jin-sshi?”

“Hye Jin-ah?”

They both spoke at the same time, turning back to see the girl in question glaring at Byulyi.

“Step away from her! Don’t make me repeat!”

“Hye Jin-ah, relax, she is a friend.” Whee In said stepping forward. She was tearing up as she hugged Hye Jin. “She helped me find you.”

Hye Jin, who was also crying, looked at Byul thankfully and kind of confused. Between her sobs of joy she asked; “She?”

Whee In laughed and told her everything that they went through. Hye Jin’s eyes filled with admiration as she listened. “Unnie, how can we thank you?” she asked bowing deeply.

“Just don’t blow up your covers and live peacefully. That’s all I ask.” Said Byul gesturing the youngest girl to stand up straight. “I will give you some money for you to turn a fresh page. My suggestion is that you two move a village far up north and buy a small farm. Say that you are sisters and live your lives.”

They both bowed down on their knees, showing their deepest respect to Byulyi. Hye Jin, as she got up, asked, her expression puzzled. “How will you explain your ‘wife’ disappearing?”

“Who can even question a young man who had his wife killed by a pack of wolves during their honeymoon?” said Byulyi with a sly expression. “Now, Whee In, if you’ll please give me your dress, I have a wolf to hunt down and a dress to dip in blood.”

As they parted ways, Byulyi couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about this. She helped a friend and her plan went smoothly but at the same time her heart was jealous. Yong Sun filled her mind as she dived into the forest, leaving the two lovers alone to find their destiny.  

 

**Unraveling a Secret**

 

To Byulyi’s surprise, it was actually easy to convince people that her wife of few days was eaten by a hungry pack of wolves after they separated in the forest due to a dramatic fight. She just had to fake two or three well-timed sobs and indicate that her heart is shattered by the death of the young girl. Her interlocutors got uncomfortable, not sure of what to say or how to behave in front of the boy who is suffering from heartache. She was a 16 year old widow after all.

 In the very first days, Byulyi had a little fun with the situation. “I’ll never get to tell her that I love her ever again!” or “My Whee In… too young… too pure…” was just two of the dramatic responses she had given to overly curious palace workers. But now that the news have travelled all around the capital and it being the alive, busy city it was the latest gossip topic was slowly starting to change. Which Byulyi was glad about, no matter how much fun she was having. She didn’t want to sadden herself and the princess even more.

Things were fragile in their relationship. After their mutual confessions and Byulyi’s rejection, all the craziness that followed it, a wall made of glass was placed between them. Stopping them from getting too close or even communicating normally. Their conversations, which once could last hours, were reduced into a shell of a small talk. Averted gazes, forced smiles and good mornings and good afternoons… Byulyi knew Yongsun was confused. Judging from the way she was walking on eggshells in their every encounter lately, she believed that her beloved guard was grieving over the death of her late wife. But she didn’t know the truth. The princess didn’t know anything that mattered about Byulyi, the guard bitterly thought, how could she say that she loved her truly? On the other hand, Yongsun knew that Byulyi liked to train in the mornings, knew that she took two sugars in her tea in the afternoon and none in the evenings. She was aware of such little things but not the naked, harsh truth that was staring right at her. She loved what she thought Byulyi was.

Byulyi sighed and put her book back on the table. She was too occupied by her thoughts to read. She didn’t know what to do to make her boredom and bad mood to go away. What did she normally do when Yongsun was busy anyway?

The firm knock on her door pulled her out of her trance.

“Yes?” She answered a little bit unsure, she hoped that it wasn’t another person wishing for her wellness after the _catastrophe_ that happened.

“Princess Yongsun demands your presence.” A maid informed her, “Your majesty is in the garden.”

Surprised, Byulyi got up faster than she ever did. “Did she say what she needed?”

“No, Dae Hyun-sshi.” The maid answered, “She just said that she needs you for something.”

Byulyi nodded. She couldn’t help but feel excited as her steps brought her to the entrance of the garden where the princess was waiting, drinking her afternoon tea as always.

When they came face to face, she noticed that Yongsun still had trouble looking directly into her eyes. Was she embarrassed or timid?

“I believe you’ve requested my presence, my princess.” Byulyi said formally, she still couldn’t figure out their current relationship’s borders, “Did something happen?”

Yongsun, for the first time in weeks, let her eyes wander on the younger’s face before gulping. “Dae Hyun…” She started, sounding unsure, “I think we should take another trip to the forest.”

It wasn’t a request but an order to do some secret training. Still, it made Byulyi happy. She knew that it was just an excuse to spend time together. She showed a small smile to the princess unintentionally. “I’m ready if you’re ready.”

 

* * *

 

They didn’t talk on the walk towards their usual training spot. Every time Byulyi glanced at the princess she looked lost in _thought_ , so the guard just let her be. Breaking the silence seemed harder than ever.

The princess did that for Byulyi when they arrived at the spot. Looking at the ground and mumbling she asked, “Dae Hyun… Byul-ah… Can we talk?”

Finding the princess’ shyness cute, Byulyi answered. “Of course.”

Yongsun looked like she wasn’t expecting this response for a second before she composed herself. “I, um, I know I’ve said things about… her. And I’m sorry. But… I… I didn’t want things to turn out this way. I..”

Byulyi considered if she should just tell her and save her from all the trouble. “It’s okay.” She said, “It was pure coincidence that she was there… against a pack of wolves. Alone.”

Yongsun sighed with frustration as if Byul’s missing the whole point. “Byul-ah, you don’t have to act like you’re so strong around me. You can’t be okay. Not after going through something like this.” She experimentally took a step closer to Byul, “Please share your sadness with me.”

“Uh… well… my late wife…”  Byulyi started to talk, not wanting to disappoint Yongsun after she made her feel so loved by caring about her feelings to the point of wanting to share her burden, “I’m so, _incredibly_ sad because of what happened to her.”

She noticed Yongsun started to tear up a little after her words. Byulyi couldn’t believe that she was on the brink of crying just by imagining Byulyi’s pain. “I- I know that things aren’t great between us b-but.. if you want anything. Talk, cry or just simply be in someone’s company. I’ll be there.”

She loves me, Byulyi thought dumbly for a moment. And it was a wonderful feeling, really, being the center of someone’s affection. Her heart felt like burning and floating at the same time.

“Thank you.” She managed to say but it didn’t convince Yongsun. The princess gently took one of her hands.

“You can tell me how you feel, you know.”

Byulyi couldn’t take it anymore, even if she liked to be pampered by Yongsun. “Can I tell you a secret?” She asked, “But you can’t tell it to anyone.”

The princess nodded eagerly without a single thought. “Anything.”

“Whee In isn’t dead.”

The hand that was holding hers dropped, leaving Byul’s hand cold. When the princess spoke again her voice contained a shock she couldn’t mask. “What?”

“You can’t tell anyone.” Byulyi warned again before explaining, “She had a lover back in her hometown.”

Yongsun just looked at her, not understanding. “What is the meaning of this?” She asked, voice now a bit angry.

Byulyi gulped. “She liked girls. Her lover was a girl. When her father found out he was furious and he banished the girl, Hye Jin. That’s why he wanted her to marry me. To… control her leaning towards homosexuality.”

Byulyi hoped she worded it right. She was scared of Yongsun’s reaction. But the princess’ face didn’t give anything away.

 “And?” Yongsun inquired, “This whole marriage was your genius plan to get her and her lover together?”

Byulyi felt the anger in Yongsun’s tone. “Um, yeah.” She replied, after that she couldn’t help herself but ask “What… What do you think about her… sexuality?”

“I…” The princess sounds dumbfounded about her question, “These things happen. I, uh, read a book about it. But that’s not the topic! You lied to me... even after… you know.”

Byulyi gaped, not knowing which part of the princess’ response she should focus on. “I’m sorry!” She quickly said, “We had to make sure no one knew. B-But, well, I’m telling you now.”

Yongsun’s eyes widened with excitement and joy. “That means we…”

Byulyi, despite knowing it would be impossible because of so many things, got defeated by her love. “Maybe?” She responded, “I don’t know.”

“You… You’re so… dumb.” Yongsun gave her a huge smile, “How can you not say anything, stupid?”

 

* * *

 

Strangely a maid was waiting for them by the gates when they got back to the palace. As to answer Yongsun’s curious gaze and the bad feeling in Byul’s stomach she turned to Yongsun and said, “The king orders you to come to the throne room, my princess.”

Giving Byulyi a reassuring gaze Yongsun made her way towards to the said place. This couldn’t be good.

When she enters the room upon noticing her presence the king gestures her to come closer.

“Come, my daughter.”

“My king,” Yongsun bowed respectfully, “You wished to see me?”

“Congratulations.” He said, his face supporting a smile resembling a mask, “You’re an engaged woman now. I have found the perfect match for my honorable girl.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are getting... more angsty?


	16. Useless Coward

Byulyi waited for the princess to comeback patiently in her garden. Maids who became familiar with her presence throughout nine years brought her tea and set up a table for her. As she was chatting with one of Yong Sun’s maids, she saw the princess coming towards them. She looked furious. She stumped her feet as she got on her porch and kicked her shoes of. Without making eye contact with anyone she screeched her order.

“No one is to bother me! If any of you knock on my door unless I ask, will be punished severely.”

With that she slammed her door shut and left everyone wondering what had happened during her short conversation with the King.

Byulyi was visibly worried, knowing that she couldn’t disobey her orders, sat right next to her door and waited. She ordered the confused maids to go and take the day off on princess’ orders. They were alone in her section of the palace and Yong Sun’s sobs filled their isolation. She sobbed for what seemed like eternity. Byulyi shed a few tears of her own, not knowing what caused this and how to put a stop to it was really dragging her heart through shattered glass, ripping and shredding it.

The sun waved goodbye and stars looked down at them with pity and sadness but the princess’ tears didn’t stop. Byulyi tried to gather her courage to knock a few times, but each time she found herself loss for words. Her breath stuck to her throat and her heart beat at an alarming rate. Maybe she should let the princess cry her heart out, let it all go before she was ready to tell. As the night went on Byulyi got up and went to the kitchen to get food and water for Yong Sun. She might be saddest she’s ever been, but she was still human.

She gathered all she could find at that hour and returned to the princess’ garden. She set the food and the pitcher filled with water in front of the door and knocked on her door. Crying faded a bit and Byulyi took a few steps back and sat there, on her knees, looking downwards to be respectful. They might be more than a princess and her guard but if the princess didn’t want to see anyone, she would respect her order.

She heard her door slide open and the princess sniffle. Yong Sun drank from the pitcher and took a step towards Byulyi. When she finally opened her mouth, her voice rasped.

“Come in, Byul-ah.” Said Yong Sun, going back in without touching the food. Byulyi did as she ordered, feeling anxious to be going into her room in the middle of the night. What if somebody saw them?

Inside of her room looked like it went through a hurricane. Her dresses were all over the place, sheets and curtains were wrinkled. There was a huge wet spot on her pillow, her tears were at fault, no doubt.

“I am engaged apparently.” She said, not trying anything to soften the blow. Byulyi felt like she just got punched in her stomach, all air left her lungs and her brain stopped working. She knew for a fact that the princess would get married one day and it wouldn’t be her, but Yong Sun’s feelings must have clouded her mind that she forgot about this.

The princess looked on the edge of tears once again as Byulyi failed to react. She didn’t know what to say.

“Ask me to run away with you Byul-ah, and I will. Please, say that you will run away with me.” Pleaded Yong Sun, very well aware that the second they would attempt this, they would get caught and Byulyi would be executed while she would be forced to marry. She couldn’t think straight, she felt like she was in a maze she drew circles in, with no hope of an escape.

“I-we can’t do that. Even I’m not that capable. They would catch us in no time.” Byulyi said, her voice low with heartbreak. “I’m sorry.”

Yong Sun flashed her an angry look. “You are no good, Byul-ah. All you say are apologies and all you do is to break my heart.” She said punching her chest. Tears and sobs were coming back. “I’m sorry too, I am sorry to ever love you and I’m sorry that I can’t move on. I’m sorry that you are my only friend and the light of my life. And I am fucking sorry that you are a useless coward who can’t help me when I most need it.”

Byulyi wrapped her arms around her and started crying as well. “Don’t you ever think for a moment that I hate this too? I hate that you are a princess and I am merely a guard. I hate that we can’t be together because the second a command leaves your father’s mouth, it is an order. I hate that I can’t let go of you either even if every single logical part of me says that we are impossible. I hate that I can’t hug, cuddle, kiss and appreciate you in front of everyone so that they would know we belong together. I hate how unfair life is.”

They wept together for what seemed like hours. The night was still upon them, darkness surrounding them to emphasize their tragedy.

“You should go. I don’t want you to die because you stepped in my room.” Said Yong Sun sniffling.

“I can stay until you fall asleep.” Offered Byulyi with a whisper. Yong Sun’s puffy eyes fluttered and she held her hand to pull her towards her bed. They laid down face to face, not touching at all, only eyes met in the most intimate way. They did not utter a word until Yong Sun moved her hand to Byulyi’s face. Her touch was lighter than a feather, but it felt like a crushing wave to Byulyi.

“I would give up everything just to be able to sleep like this every day.” Yong Sun whispered. She scooted closer to Byulyi and buried her face in her chest. “Just hold me, Byul-ah. Hold me until this is all just a mean nightmare.”

After an hour, the princess’ breathing slowed down and Byulyi made sure she was deep asleep. This was the last time that they could share like this, engulfed by their feelings and embraced by their affection. She sneaked out of Yong Sun’s room, seeing if anyone was around before she ran towards the training courtyard. The sun wasn’t visible yet, but the sky began to lighten a bit. Byulyi felt drained at the same time she felt fury and frustration pump through her veins. She found her sword from the equipment chest and began to train. Only thing that could get her mind from this was pure exhaustion that came after training for hours. She swung her sword at the practice dummy with full strength, dummy’s head falling to the ground, rolling away from her to end up at someone’s feet. She raised her head to see who dared to interrupt her practice session only to see a face so familiar yet so strange.

The man in front of her looked like her distorted mirror image. He looked like a more masculine version of her, but their face was strikingly similar. The man in front of her spoke with a playful grin.

“Such anger in such a tiny boy, at this hour on top of that. Are you okay?” he asked, half-serious. “Do you need a partner to lash out at?”

“Who are you? Do you have a permission to be on palace grounds?” Byulyi asked as she tried to wipe away her sweat which was dripping off her chin.

“My name is Lee Min Hyuk, I am the King’s guest. Is that answer enough?” he said kicking the dummy’s head away as he walked towards the pile of weapons. “I couldn’t sleep so I came out to stretch a bit. Can I join you?”

Byulyi squinted her eyes as she examined Min Hyuk. He seemed genuine but that wasn’t enough to let someone handle weapons in the palace grounds. But also, she couldn’t let him wonder around alone so she had to stall him.

“I’m tired of swords, would you join me for a hand-to-hand?” said Byulyi, putting her sword back.

“Ah, I see, you are not sure if I am trustworthy, so you plan to keep me in your sight and away from weapons. Good thinking.” He said with a smile. “Alright, show me what you are capable of, ….? What’s your name again?”

“Moon Dae Hyun.”

“Dae Hyun-sshi, let me see your skills, eh?”

And with that their dancing started. Byulyi had to admit that this ‘Lee Min Hyuk’ was good but not her level quite yet. If he was who he claims to be, he was probably a nobleman’s son who had training but not at a military level. He did challenge her, but she still didn’t break a sweat.

“You are really good, Dae Hyun-sshi. Are you a soldier, maybe?” he asked out of breath. The sun shone upon them as if it tried to erase all the mistakes of yesterday.

“Royal guard but close.” She answered punching him from his side. As he doubled over in pain, she kicked him by his shoulders and twisted his arm.

“I surrender!” he groaned out in pain. Byulyi let go of him and walked towards the well that provided water to training guards. She filled two cups and offered one to Min Hyuk who was still laying down, breathing heavily. He accepted the drink with a thank you and sat upright.

“What made you so angry, Dae Hyun-sshi?” asked Min Hyuk after he got himself back together. “No one goes berserk like that over nothing.”

Byulyi, deciding to stick with the safe bet, answered with a truthful lie. “My wife died not so long ago. I can’t seem to get over it.” She said, looking at her water cup the whole time. “I can’t sleep but training helps me.”

Min Hyuk who looked loss at words. “How old are you exactly?”

“Sixteen.” She answered with a look that dared him to make a comment. She was amused a bit.

“I’m curious about your story but I’m not an inconsiderate jerk so I won’t bother you anymore.” He said getting up. “I will pester some maids for gossip anyways.”

Byulyi laughed a little before she got up herself. “Why are you the King’s guest, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, now that you reminded me, I do have to go and clean up before he summons me. I am to marry his daughter; Princess Yong Sun I believe.” He said as he bowed. “It was nice meeting you Dae Hyun-sshi. Take care.”

Min Hyuk left Byulyi alone and dumbfounded in the courtyard. She didn’t know how to respond. Why did the gods hate them? Did her fiancé have to be someone so nice that she couldn’t hate?

Sometimes she just wished she faked her own death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me readers for I have sinned with angst
> 
> amen


	17. Secrets Tend to Make People Lonelier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hi guys and gals! 
> 
> my midterms almost fiinished and I am being forced to write this with @fromhogwarts pestering on skype
> 
> but jokes aside this is the LONGEST chapter I've written and well enjoy!

Byulyi wants nothing more than to stab Min Hyuk and be done with it while her body doubles over with laughter after a stupid joke he made. It wasn’t even that funny but the stress she shouldered made it easy for her to snap even at this.

Sixty-seven days have passed since the announcement of the royal engagement and with the king’s orders, the groom would be an honour guest at the palace until the wedding. When Byulyi thought that she could at least be away from the whole situation, Min Hyuk proved her wrong by attaching himself to her like a leech. She tried to distance herself from him by giving a cold shoulder but somehow king Kim Ju Kan learned the groom’s affection towards the younger guard and as a gesture of generosity assigned Byulyi to Min Hyuk’s guard until the wedding. The princess didn’t need her guard that much those days anyway. She was always in lessons or in her room, not stepping foot outside her wing of the palace.

Byulyi hated the thought of leaving her service at first but even she had to admit that being near her only twisted the knife in her heart, hurting both of them even more. She tried to see glimpses of her against her better judgement. Even if she got hurt every time, even if she had trouble keeping her tears in, Byulyi still sneaked into her garden and watched her drink her morning tea with a forlorn expression. Every time she saw her face she was reminded that somehow, she managed to make the princess love ‘her' so much that, she was willing to leave everything behind and run away with Byulyi. And reminded of the coward she was.

“Dae Hyun-ah, why are you crying?” She heard Min Hyuk ask as he touched her shoulder with worry. “I won't make anymore jokes if it saddens you this much.”

Her unstable emotional state made her cry without even realizing. She wiped her tears harshly and stood straight. “Finally, something stops your horrid jokes, Min Hyuk-sshi.”

Min Hyuk smiled at her sympathetically as he rubbed her back. Byulyi tensed at the chance of him feeling the fabric of her binders. “I can sense that you are still mourning your late wife. I am here to talk, dongsaeng.” He offered with a smile. “In fact, why don't you call me hyung? I feel like we are close like that.”

Byulyi, for the nth time, surprised by his genuine and friendly behaviour, smiled sheepishly. “Thank you, hyung. I don't want to slash open newly closed wounds by talking about…. Whee In.”

“Well, I might be the one who needs to talk about his wife-to-be.” Min Hyuk said, kicking a pebble that stood in his way. “She is so distant, Dae Hyun-ah. I could only catch her outside of her wing one time and she just bowed and walked away without a word.”

Byulyi looked at the troubled young man with a sigh. He didn't deserve this. Sure, this was an arranged marriage, but he was actually trying to make this better. They sat at the exit of her garden every day, hoping to run into her until Yong Sun sent her servant Eun Ji to shoo them. She was still angry at Byulyi as well as she was ignorant of Min Hyuk.

They respected her wishes and didn't step near her garden again, but she could tell that Min Hyuk was always observant of his surroundings in case she came by.

“Is she always this cold?” Min Hyuk asked as they walked towards the stables.

“I wouldn't know, hyung. I was just her guard, nothing else.” Byulyi tried to eliminate any possible suspicions.

“What a lie, dongsaeng! I told you I would gather palace gossip. I know that you were her guard since you were ten and the rumours about you two.” He said stopping in his tracks. “Are they true?”

Byulyi felt the air get knocked out of her lungs. “Of course, not hyung! How dare you question mine and her honour like that! I am just a companion she deemed worthy of friendship. Nothing else.”

His face looked still for a few seconds before he burst into laughter. “You look so cute when you are all flustered and angry, Dae Hyun-ah.” He said ruffling her hair. “Relax, I don’t think they are true, I just wanted to get you to admit being her friend.”

Byulyi punched his shoulder as she stomped her feet. “Aren't you a jokester, hyung. Fine, I am her friend. So, what?”

“How can I get her to like me? I don’t want to have a cold marriage. What kind of things does she like?” he asked.

Byulyi, holding her screams, frustrations and tears in, smiled. “Horse rides and picnics by the Lake. She likes that very much.”

Min Hyuk frowned as he waited for the stable boy to get their horses ready. “How can we go for something like that when she won’t even look at me?”

“Send her gifts, she might give in.” Byulyi suggested. “She loves reading history books. Especially folk tales.”

“That might work! What other gifts can I buy her? Jewellery, clothes, flowers?” He asked looking clueless as possible.

“Yes, sure, then would you like to give her a beautiful calligraphy painting that reads ‘You Are the Most Cliché Girl I've Ever Met!’? Bet she will love that too, hyung.” She said rolling her eyes at the older boy.

“Then tell me, smartass.” He asked as he tipped the stable boy generously. They mounted their horses and turned their direction towards the town centre.

“She likes none of those things. When I courted my late wife Whee In, I did all that and more, Yong Sun-noona hated it. She said it made me look unoriginal and insincere.” She said somewhat truthfully. That was not the only reason she hated their engagement, but it was a factor. “She likes genuine things. Find a good book and write her a letter telling how you really feel. Don’t tell her that you love her because you don't. She knows you don't. Tell her you want to love her, get to know her and will treat her as your equal in your marriage. She deserves that. But if you are not sincere in those claims, hyung, and if you hurt her, you will see my wrath unleashed.”

Min Hyuk looked at her with raised eyebrows. “I will keep that in mind.”

 

* * *

 

After they spent hours in four different towns, trying to find Yong Sun a book, they finally met their demands at a little shop in the last town. There was a tiny book, stuck between two shelves, waiting to be bought. The Tale of Two Lovers.

Byulyi noticed the book first and began reading it on the spot. She realized as she continued to read it, this was not an ordinary tale. It told the story of a young maid and the princess which was stuck in a stable boy’s body. They unfortunately fall in love and before Byulyi could read anymore, Min Hyuk grabbed her arm and showed of the book in his hands.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” He asked. His eyes were full of hope as he shoved the book in her hands.

“’Tales of Wolves and Undying Woman’? Really hyung? How about something that’s more about… legendary warriors and their techniques? She likes fighting.” Byulyi said, without thinking. She wanted to buy the book without Min Hyuk noticing.

“She likes fighting?” Min Hyuk asked, raising his eyebrows. “Does she know how to fight?”

Byulyi felt her blood drain from her face. She just gave one of Yong Sun’s biggest secrets away, just like that. “I meant that she likes those topics, not the actual physical action of fighting.”

“Young man, there are more books of the kind you want in the other shelf.” Said the old book seller, smiling at Min Hyuk.

“Excuse me, sir, I want to purchase this.” Said Byulyi as soon as Min Hyuk got out of her vision.

“Oh, that old thing? You can keep it if you want. It belonged to an old crazy hag before she passed away. I was going to throw it away, but you can have it.”

 “Thank you.” She muttered as she tucked the tiny book in her dress. “Hyung, any luck?”

 

* * *

 

“Ah, Min Hyuk-oppa, you are so funny!” squealed Yong Sun as she lightly slapped his arm. She looked like she was acting out a weird scene in a foreign play.

Min Hyuk looked surprised, he only made a few jokes which were honestly no that funny, so he didn’t know what made her laugh, but he went along with it. “So, I hear. From the girls. In my town. Yeah.”

Byulyi resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she stood by them in guard position. It took Min Hyuk an entire week to convince Yong Sun but at the end he gave up trying and begged Byulyi to do it. Byulyi went down to her garden and tried to talk some sense into the girl of her dreams.

_“Why don’t you just try and give him a chance?” She asks with a sigh. Her headache is its strongest._

_“Why don’t you give us a chance?” she shots back. “Oh right, you are a coward, that’s why!”_

_“Look, I’m not the one born into royalty and is engaged right now. Do you really want to run away now and later watch my head get cut off?” Byulyi pesters as she tried to convince her._

_“Oh, cut the crap. You are so annoying that maybe I’ll kill you myself anyways!” She yells at Byulyi. After a moment of silence, she sighs and folds her arms. “Fine, tell your master who apparently holds your leash now, that I will have a picnic with him. But remember that you insisted, Dae Hyun-sshi.”_

“I remember it.” She thought as Yong Sun shamelessly flirted with Min Hyuk. Everything she did was to anger Byulyi even further. It worked.

“How long did you train to fight, oppa? You look so strong.” Said Yong Sun looking so amazed as she shyly touched his arm. “Dae Hyun-ah has been my guard for ever but he’s so skinny! I’ve never seen someone who’s in such good shape as you.”

Min Hyuk, who was a stuttering red mess at that second, looked back and forth between them with embarrassment. “Not at all, your grace! Dae Hyun is in top shape if I’ve ever seen one. You are very lucky to have him as your guard.” He said looking proudly at Byulyi. “But I am thankful for your kind compliments.”

Byulyi scoffed a little at her behaviour, Yong Sun was probably more skilled in combat than Min Hyuk at this point. They trained together with military style for years, a pretty rich boy like Min Hyuk wouldn’t stand a chance.

After nearly vomiting in her mouth, Byulyi managed to stand still for the next hour until they decided to go back. She kept her silence throughout their journey back, mostly because if she opened her mouth she would make a sarcastic remark.

Palace doors opened in front of them as Yong Sun’s giggle echoed between them. Min Hyuk, once again, made one of his stupid jokes. As Byulyi’s eyes met with Min Hyuk’s, she saw that he became flustered and scratched the back of his neck. He was probably ashamed of flirting in front of his dongsaeng.

They left their horses at the stable and Min Hyuk insisted on accompanying her back to her door. “What kind of man would I be if I left my date alone?” he said, trying his best to sound charming.

Byulyi thanked the gods above that the princess’ garden was not that far. She could not take another moment of this nauseating conversation.

“Thank you for accepting my invite today, your grace. I am deeply honoured by it.” Said Min Hyuk bowing deeply. “Let’s go Dae Hyun. Good evening, my princess.”

Yong Sun bowed back, a little less deeply and held her hand out to stop them. “Actually, can I borrow Dae Hyun for a second? I need to ask him about guard schedules.” She requested, smiling.

Min Hyuk eyed them carefully before smiling back and nodding. “Of course, your grace. I will be at the training ground Dae Hyun-ah, then we can go have our dinner.” With this, he turned on his heel and walked away.

Byulyi gulped nervously as she followed Yong Sun into her garden. “Min Yoon Gi should have updated you on the schedules, your grace.” She said immediately.

“He did. And you know that was an excuse so stop playing dumb.” She said folding her arms as she settled on her usual cushion. “Did you enjoy our trip today?”

Byulyi rolled her eyes. “I sure did, _oppa_.” She answered. “What is your point, noona?”

Yong Sun’s eyes darkened as she turned to her staff and yelled. “Leave! All of you! If I see any of you in this wing for the next half hour, I will see your ends.”

As the staff hurriedly emptied the place, Yong Sun got up from her seat. “Do you think this is a game for me? Do you think I enjoy this? Well think again, Moon Dae Hyun, because I’m not having fun. Actually, not a single positive thought has passed my mind during these two months. In my good days, I wanted to run away. In my bad days, I just wanted to die. I came close you know, only thing that kept me back was, maybe, _just maybe_ you would change your mind and take my hand to run away.” She yelled as she ran her hands through her hair. “But no, you came down here to ask me to _accept_ his fucking picnic date. I am trying to reach out to you, show you, tell you how much I love and need you but all you do is make fun of me? I hope you had the time of your life laughing today Dae Hyun-ah, because the rest of your life will be like this. Watching Min Hyuk and I from a distance while keeping your guard stance will be your life. You and I will grow old, within a reach yet so impossible. So yeah, I hope you find that fun, at least one of us will feel like living.”

“You don’t know ANYTHING! Not a single thing Yong Sun! You don’t even have a single fucking idea what kind of choices I’m forced to make! Every day I must remind myself that my very core being, the part of me that loves you, isn’t allowed to breathe. Everyday I feel like dying, just ending this misery of a life, and yet the only thing that ties me to this world is the same thing that makes me so pathetic; my stubborn love for you. You won’t understand this, I shouldn’t even waste my breath on someone who stoops to such immature ways to make the other jealous.” Byulyi shouted back. Her veins popped from her neck and her head felt like someone was wrecking her with a hammer.

What she didn’t see coming was Yong Sun’s hand, flying towards her face, sped up with anger and frustration. “You dare say those words to me, you lying, sly, fucking coward piece of shit! You love me? Do you honestly think I believe that anymore? After all this? Cut me some slack, I’m not that dumb.” She said sobs escaping her between words. She was falling apart and Byulyi wasn’t fast enough to catch the pieces. “I understand nothing because you tell me nothing! Every time we do this bullshit, I always pour my heart out for you and you always stand there with that same kicked-puppy expression on your face and expect things to go away before you have to talk about your feelings! And guess what, now you have what you wished for. I am slipping away from your fingertips, so you won’t ever have to tell me how you feel. I hope you’re happy.”

Byulyi, holding her own tears back, took a step towards Yong Sun. “It’s because I can’t tell you. You don’t deserve the burden, you shouldn’t have to carry this with me.” She whispered, sounding the most vulnerable she had ever been. “I’m like a… disease. You should avoid me before you get infected.”

Yong Sun looked at her with wide eyes before a hint of determination in her expression warned Byulyi about what was to come. Suddenly she felt Yong Sun’s hands yanking her collar, slightly loosening her bindings in the process, and pulling her in. And at that time Byulyi felt the world stop.

The older girl’s soft and inexperienced lips felt out of place for a moment. They didn’t know what they were doing, they were just novices in love. Imitating a rhythm that they got slowly familiar with, Byulyi kissed her back with as much desire as she received. She was scared and helpless but the feel of Yong Sun's cherry-flavoured lips on hers made her grasp a sense of safety within this twisted situation, making this moment their own cottage in a mighty snowstorm. But all good things had to end in some way, most of the times in bitter conclusions. The reality struck Byulyi and she, like a fish out of the water, pushed Yong Sun away to properly breathe again.

“You… We can’t… I mean… no.” she gasped. She felt like the whole world crashed down on her shoulders as her mind started working again and thought of the possibilities of someone seeing them. “I am sorry. I have to go.”

Byulyi ran away, leaving her pride behind. She didn’t stop until she reached the training grounds, frantically looking for Min Hyuk. It felt like if she could find him, she could act like nothing happened, act like her heart wasn’t beating unbelievably fast.

“Hyung!” she called out, but no one answered. Confused with everything that was happening around her, Byulyi started running towards the guest’ wing, where Min Hyuk was staying. After her short run, she saw Min Hyuk crouched down at his own porch, looking into space with the most unreadable expression. She stopped for a second and took control of her face. She managed to smile and waved towards him.

“Hyung! Let’s go and eat.”

Min Hyuk looked like he didn’t hear her. Byulyi worriedly got closer and touched his shoulder. “Hyung?”

Min Hyuk finally looked up and held her hand tightly. Before she could say anything, he dragged her into his room and let go of her hand harshly. “Care to explain why you two kissed?”

Byulyi cursed out her luck in her mind as she felt her tongue in a loss of words. “I... Hyung… You were watching?” she raised her eyebrows.

Min Hyuk blushed all over before he angrily pushed her from her shoulders. “I was worried you asshole. But it seems that my worries were for nothing, right? You were more than okay out there!” he raised his voice. “That is my fiancée, are you aware of that huh?”

Byulyi didn’t know what to say. He was right in his own way but wrong on many others. “Oh, I’m sorry hyung, I don’t seem to remember her falling in love with you and magically wanting to marry you with her own free will!” She shouted back, trying to keep her voice as thick as possible.

Min Hyuk looked as if she just spat on his face. He once again poked her shoulder furiously. “Oh, really? I don’t remember the king ordering me to stay away because her daughter loved someone else. Oh, wait, he doesn’t know because you didn’t even had the intention of marrying her! Don’t try to turn this on me! You betrayed me by kissing her. You betrayed my trust.”

With that he pushed her for the last time, his hands on her breasts, her back hitting the wall. There was a moment of silence while they both realised a few things. Byulyi finally got aware of her bindings, which were loose enough to be useless. Yong Sun tugged them, and her running loosened them. She realised that, when Min Hyuk pushed her away, there was no way he couldn’t feel her … _lie_.

They stood there for a few minutes, only light breaths filling the air. Byulyi finally got her senses back and drew her sword.

“You didn’t feel anything, is that clear?” She threatened as her hands visibly shook with stress.

Min Hyuk who was even more of a blushing mess then before bowed apologizingly and muttered. “I’m so sorry that I touched your… chest.”

Byulyi lowered her weapon and held his arm forcefully, dragging him outside of the palace. When they finally arrived at an isolated location, Byulyi let go. “Ask.”

“Are you really… not a guy?” He asked, not daring enough to look her in the eye.

“Yes. I am a girl.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

They stood there with silence in the air, once again that night. Min Hyuk finally lifted his head up and asked. “Why are you pretending to be something you are not then?”

“It is a rather long story, one that lasted sixteen years. Do you really want to hear this?” she asked sighing.

“Well, secrets tend to make people lonelier. I wouldn’t want you to feel like that.” He offered with a kind smile.

Byulyi knew that she should have freaked out by now but honestly, she felt like the world was rewarding her with someone to share this burdening secret with. So, she let go of her fears and panicked thoughts, she began to tell him everything.

“…And this is how things became so complicated.” She finished telling. Min Hyuk looked at her with pity in his eyes, even if Byulyi hated it she understood. She was pitiful, wasn’t she?

“You poor thing… I don’t even know what to say other than ask you where your fuck of a father is and beat him up really good.” He said frowning. “What kind of a man does this to their child? Sick bastard.”

“So, you are aware that this is a secret that can cost me my head, right? You are not allowed to tell anyone about this.” She emphasized, looking into his eyes warningly.

“I get it but so now what?” he asked, his head between his hands. “You two love each other but with this secret it is not possible, and I am to marry her in a month. What are we supposed to do?”

Byulyi sighed. “What is going to happen is, you are going to marry her, and I am going to ask the king to assign me into the army. And hopefully Yong Sun will eventually forget I ever existed and love you.” She said looking at the ground. “That is the plan, basically.”

She heard a sniff from him and when she looked up, he seemed like he was about to cry. “Can I… Can I hug you?” he asked uncertainly.

She smiled faintly. “Sure, hyung.”

 

* * *

 

They were swarmed with palace guards as soon as they went back to it’s grounds. Byulyi’s heart beat at a record speed thinking that someone ratted her kissing the princess and now they were after her blood.

“Lee Min Hyuk, the king _orders_ your presence. Immediately.” Said one of the guards Byulyi knew since she was ten.

“I will take him there, no need for this barbaric treatment.” She said, daring them to say a word. After a few seconds, guards cleared the way and followed them towards the throne room. The moon hanged in the air mockingly, smirking down at them mercilessly.

Guards at the door opened them hurriedly, exposing the two to the king, who looked positively furious.

“Lee Min Hyuk and his entire party is to leave my kingdom effective immediately and without any objection. Dae Hyun, get him out of my sight, make sure he leaves my terrain and then go back to the princess’ service.” The king ordered pacing in the room back and forth. Then he pointed at Min Hyuk with anger. “And you, weak boy, tell your disgraced father that if he ever tries to pull that kind of a thing ever again, only thing broken between us won’t be marriage agreements.”

Before they even digested the meaning of the king’s words they were escorted out to the guest wing. Min Hyuk, who was scared out of his mind, packed his things in a hurry. Not even a word was uttered while he packed and finally when Byulyi opened her mouth to say something, Min Hyuk stopped her.

“Your secret is still safe, nothing changes between us and well, all I can do is wish you luck, no, miracle with your relationship.” He said in a heartbeat. “I have to go now, but I wanted to say that in such a short time, you became my favourite dongsaeng, I will value your friendship no matter what happens between my father and the king.”

He then hugged her tightly for one last time. “Thank you. And good luck.”

 

* * *

 

Byulyi stretched her legs while walking and yawning at the same time. The princess ordered her to come before sunrise to sneak out the palace. They resumed their training after the… incident that happened two years ago. They did not speak of it and when the conversation steered that way, they trained harder instead. Two years full of closeted feelings and unresolved tension, they were honesty a ticking bomb. But somehow, this made them even better training partners. They took it all out with swords.

Byulyi strolled into her garden like she owned it and smiled at a few maids. They squealed and ran away, whispering among themselves. Just because her heart belonged to the princess didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun messing with people.

She knocked on her door before her maids could stop her. “Your grace, it is time you are awaken and ready. The sun is getting up and so should you.” She teased. Her maids pushed Byulyi away and entered the room, bowing deeply. And that’s when all hell broke loose.

The maids screamed and Byulyi barged in. All she saw before feeling sick to her stomach was the princess’ trashed room and open windows with no sign of the princess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun-Dun-DUN 
> 
> sorry I know y'all hate me
> 
> forgive my sins 
> 
> bye till next time


	18. Moving On

Byulyi felt her stomach getting sicker as time passes, her feet aching to move, to run towards her princess and her pride and heart taking the hardest of blows. She somehow lost Princess Yong Sun, the sweetheart of the Kim Dynasty, and the love of her life.

She was still on her knees, not daring to look up where the king was having a panic attack and a tantrum at the same time, veins popping from his neck as he screamed at Byulyi for being so careless. Byulyi knew, and King does too, that this was palace guards fault but there were many of them and there was only one Byulyi, who’s responsible for the princess. Her ears heard his words, but her brain was too busy to process them, she was thinking every single nightmare scenario that could have happened. She could have been taken by rapists, slave traders, pimps, torturers, all sorts of human garbage. She felt tears poke her eyes for the nth time that day, and she was only awake for four hours.

“Listen to me _boy_ , you better find my precious daughter, and you better find her before my search parties. She was your responsibility, your _only_ responsibility, and somehow she got kidnapped.” Kim Ju Kan said, rubbing his temples in order to calm down. “I give you no resources, you are on your own. Find her or never come back here, ever again. Or I will give orders for your execution. Now, get out of my sight.”

Byulyi bowed her lowest once again and exited the room, shaking with everything that’s been happening.

She walked aimlessly for a while, letting the world revolve around her as she staggered behind. She felt like there is nothing to do, nothing to move for. She knew that the princess was out there somewhere, still breathing although not safe, but knowing that is not equal to feeling it. Anxiety and panic crept upon her, rising from the pit of her stomach, spiralling towards her heart and ruthlessly piercing it and finally poisoning her brain with thoughts that made breathing seem like a torture. Her chest ached, she felt her own breathing everywhere, knowing that she wouldn’t even want her heart to beat if she couldn’t bring Yong Sun back with her, to home, to their sacred heaven.

She raised her head to find that her aimless stroll, led her to her own house. With a deep breath and finding enough determination to walk, she stepped in, taking her shoes off in the entrance. Her noona, Tae Yeon, was in their common area, quietly doing needle work as Yoo Na played gayageum on the ground. They both noticed her as she gave them a slight bow.

“Dae Hyun-ah, is there something wrong?” asked Tae Yeon, eyebrows raised to emphasize. “Your eyes are red and puffy. Is everything okay?”

Byulyi shook her head and crouched down on the floor, finally letting herself go. Her tears streamed down her face as she held her head between her hands, hair dishevelled and sobs quietly shaking her. Her sisters immediately rushed to her side.

 “Yah, Dae Hyun-ah, what happened? Did something happen to the princess?” asked Yoo Na as she shook her. Upon hearing her name, Byulyi started to weep even more.

“She’s gone! Someone took her during the god-forsaken night and I am responsible for it.” She said, half hiccupping, half whispering. She hugged her sisters as tears stained their dresses.

This continued for a few minutes before Tae Yeon got up and dragged her to Byulyi’s room. Yoo Na looked puzzled but didn’t question them, she knew that those two were closer to each other more than anyone else.

“Get a hold of yourself, Byul-ah.” She said sharply as she closed the door. Byulyi looked surprised as she sniffled. Her sister was not much of a talker, let alone somebody who could act tough. She was like that person you could rely on at the end of the day, always there and always listening. “You need to get going, you have no time to waste.”

Byulyi didn’t say a word, just looked at the floor boards. She didn’t even have the courage to look up to her face. But that seemed to anger her sister even more. She grabbed Byulyi’s chin roughly and forced her look up.

“Listen Moon Byul Yi, I am not going to let my little sister wither away with sorrow when she can get off her ass and at least try to make things better.” She raised her voice. “Now, get up, gear up, get enough money and pack yourself some clothes. I will prepare food for you and you will get out of this house and search for her. You understand me?”

Byulyi willed her tears to stop as she gained her posture through her words. “Yes, noona.”

Tae Yeon smiled and walked towards the door. “Be ready in fifteen minutes and go find your love.”

Byulyi blushed deeply as her sister winked and rushed to the kitchen. She always talked with her noona, but she tried to mask her feelings. She wasn’t that much of a liar, it seemed.

 

* * *

 

“Is there any word of a young girl? Extremely beautiful, arrogant and well-mannered. She was taken three weeks ago. Do you know anything?” Byulyi asked over her glass. She felt the weight of the world as she sipped her soju once again. Her first week was spent with interrogating nearby towns. She wore her cape that had the palace’s sign on it. It was useless.

During her second week, she realized she had to address the big elephant alone with her in the woods. Normal citizens couldn’t have broken into the palace to kidnap the princess. It required skill and a dark background. And those kinds of people wouldn’t even look at Byulyi as she wore her official uniform. She sold her cape and changed her look. She tried to get into the character of a lone wolf, an up-to-no-good young man who searched for valuable slaves to trade. Her entire outfit was black and the low-quality cape that hung around her shoulders gave her the necessary vibe.

“You mean the princess that the king is frantically searching for? You think I’m some kind of a fucking idiot, who would even utter her name in public right now? For fuck’s sake kid, move along and find trouble somewhere else. Fucking psycho.” Slurred the man that sat opposite of her in the poorly-lit tavern. Byulyi’s eyes flashed with anger as she threw her glass to the wall and grabbed the man by his neck, forcing him to look at her.

“Sounds like you know a great deal about this princess.” She dangerously whispered as she slammed his had down to the table and held her knife to his throat. “Tell me everything you know, or I will feel no guilt after slashing your throat open like a fucking psycho.”

The man beneath her struggled to escape but her grip was strong as steel. “I only know that some people saw a carriage rushing through the capital that night, heading towards east. I swear that’s all I know. Have mercy.”

Byulyi sighed as she withdrew her hands from the guys neck. “Useless scum.” She said as she spat in his direction.

Byulyi got out of the tavern with a heavy sigh. She interrogated every single criminal type of people in this town but all she got was a general direction that _might_ have been accurate. She kicked stones with her feet, getting herself mentally ready to get out of this town to head to another but she felt like she was getting nowhere. She didn’t sleep, her naps that she took just to have energy to go on were filled with nightmares. She mounted her horse as she heard somebody yelling.

“Wait! Moon Dae Hyun-sshi! Wait!”

Byulyi turned her head towards the voice, a young boy, probably a squire, ran towards her, his cheeks red with the cold air and his breath short with all the running. “Please wait.”

“How do you know my name?” She questioned. She didn’t tell anyone her real name and erased her own footsteps.

“Lee Min Hyuk-sshi sent me. He wanted me to deliver a message.” He said as he handed her a letter. “Good night, Moon Dae Hyun-sshi.”

The boy bowed and rushed off to the distance. She opened the letter, feeling confused and slightly happy to hear from her friend after two years. There was only a single sentence written on it.

“Moon and its better version meets where the hidden Sun giggles in a day.”

Her mind took a few minutes to make sense of the cryptic message. Min Hyuk once mentioned them looking similar and praised himself, saying that he was an improvement. So, he wanted to meet with her but where? The rest came to her with a bitter-sweet feeling. He referred to the place that Yong Sun and Min Hyuk had their first and last date. Remembering her unnecessary and over the top giggling, Byulyi smiled.

Min Hyuk was not stupid, he knew that in a time like this Byulyi wouldn’t appreciate a casual get-together. He must have information about her whereabouts. Byulyi gripped the reins of her horse and rode of towards the capital. Finally, there was something to act upon.

 

* * *

 

She stood by the lake, nervously playing with the hem of her cape as she waited for Min Hyuk. A few hours passed and finally someone made an entrance through the bushes. Min Hyuk looked as if he would cry upon seeing her, he rushed forward and crushed her in a hug.

“Look how little you’ve grown, Dae Hyunnie!” He said as he settled her to the ground. “I am so happy that my delivery boy found you. I was so sure that I wouldn’t be able to get to you!”

Min Hyuk looked down at her with a huge smile and Byulyi immediately felt pissed off for how much broader he got. He looked manlier in contrast to her who would always look like she was stuck in puberty.

“Hyung, why did you call for me?” she asked directly. She wanted to catch up, but this was not the time for it.

“Yah, Dae Hyunnie, I know this isn’t easy for you, but you could at least ask me how I am. Disrespectful rascal.” He said ruffling her hair. “I know where she is, and I will help you get her back.”

Byulyi grabbed his shoulders with excitement. “Hyung! Are you serious?” She asked as she shook him. “I could kiss you right now!”

As she said those words Min Hyuk blushed all over and stopped her. “Please, don’t say things like that.” He said and gestured her to sit down with him. “My father tried to keep it from me, but I’ve sneaked in and listened to his meetings. He was planning this since the moment King Kim Ju Kan broke our marriage agreement. He is behind this and knowing that I would oppose he tried to keep me away. He knew that the king would eventually blame us, and start a war but she would be with another clan, down by the mountain side. That way they could get him to wage a war with no reason and make him seem at fault.”  He said angrily. “They are keeping her in the army storage in Park clan’s territory. I managed to get the guard schedule, but I can’t come with you, my father already suspects me because I came here, I can’t take any more risks.”

Byulyi reached and took the paper he was offering her. “Thank you hyung. I am forever in your debt.” She said, holding his hand and looking in his eyes thankfully.

“Dae Hyunnie, you have to stop doing that.” He said mumbling as he withdrew his hand. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “If you need me to, I can stay and help.”

“You did more than enough for me, hyung. Thank you so much.” She said as she got up on her feet. “I don’t have any more time to waste. And, hyung, when this is all over, let’s spar some time.”

As she walked towards her horse, she heard his quick footsteps behind her and felt his hand curl around her wrist. “Dae Hyunnie. Wait.”

She turned to face him, his expression was sad despite his cheeks flushing. “I don’t think I can ever see you again Dae Hyunnie. There will be a war and more important than that…” he sighed heavily before continuing. “I wouldn’t say this, if I didn’t know there was a possibility that one of us could die during all this so here it goes. I love you.”

Byulyi chuckled a bit before realizing that he was serious. “Hyung, I…”

He shushed her. “Don’t say anything, I’m not trying to sway your emotions or anything. I just needed to get it out and move on. I know you love her and I have nothing but support for you guys in my heart. But I can’t help if my heart speeds up when I think of you. I wanted to get over you and I will, maybe. I want to get married to someone and have a home. I can’t have that with you and I wanted to get it off my chest. So, yeah.” He said finally. “So, thank You Moon Dae Hyun, for confusing me and giving me the best of times.”

“Byul Yi.”

“What?”

“Moon Byul Yi. That is the name my mother intended.” She said hugging him one last time. “Fare well, Lee Min Hyuk- _oppa_. And thank you for everything. I hope you have a great life.”

“Good bye, Byul-ah. I hope you don’t die.”

And with that she rode of to the distance, leaving Min Hyuk with the path to moving on.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next episode, some action!
> 
> I am shit at writing action scenes so......


	19. Slash of Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wears an armor* don't stone me to death pls, i had reasons T_T
> 
> I am sorry for the late chapter and I hope u enjoy it even tho I know you guys will hate me even more  
> sorry

Byulyi clutches to the paper in her hand as she watches from the shadows, becoming one with them in the process. She was observing the place that held her princess for the last eight hours and anxiety crept upon her like never before. Her train of thought always seemed to crash when it came to the condition the princes might be in. Her heart screamed at her to screw making a plan and just attack to get her out as soon as possible but her brain, after years of training, overweighed her heart and made her stick with her original plan. She would gather information by doing a stake-out, learning how many there were, how built and trained they looked.

She knew by know that there were three teams of people, each consisting of five heavily armed men. The building itself wasn’t that big but it was built in a way that the guards couldn’t each other when they were positioned at their locations. This was the best situation she could have asked for.

Seeing that the second team was far less bulky than the other two, she decided that she would attack during their shift. Which was from noon to sunset.

The last thing she needed was sleep. She knew that she would take hours to fall asleep with worry slowly digesting her brain until there was nothing but fatigue. She returned to her campsite which she set up in a ten-minute distance. Knowing that a fire would give her away, she kept low and ate the cold rice she purchased from a few towns over. Something warm might have helped her feel sleepy much faster but she would have to make do with what she had. She gathered up her weapons; knives, her sword, a dagger, a bow and an arrow saddle. She carefully started to sharpen their edges, knowing that her blows needed to be fast and fatal.

Killing was something she always wanted to avoid but when the princess’ life was at stake, she wouldn’t think twice before opening up holes in breathing bodies. Thinking back to the time that she killed a bunch of scum that shattered Yong Sun’s feeling of self-worth by attempting to kidnap her, she felt nothing during it but afterwards it all came crushing down to her. She obviously didn’t regret saving her but there was something truly horrifying about taking someone life away that she couldn’t shake away to this day.

She laid down, putting her head on a log when she finished making everything as sharp as necessary. Her eyes started to feel heavy as her thoughts crawled with panic and excitement.

 

* * *

 

She heard her own heartbeats as she looked at her target. The first guy she would take out was at the very back, holding his sword handle in a lazy manner as he looked lost in thought. Byulyi’s consciousness tugged at her, saying that maybe she shouldn’t kill him if she can avoid it. Byulyi wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer, far from that, she was very sensitive towards death even. But this was not a situation that she could take risks. She whispered an apology that even she could barely hear and threw one of her knives at the mans heart, running towards him at the same time to prevent him from making a noise. He let out a faint yelp of surprise and pain as she caught him before he fell. Seeing that the blow wasn’t enough to take him down Byulyi listened to her heart and just hit the mans head with the handle of her sword. He was knocked out cold.

“Jae-Min? Is everything okay?” A voice said coming towards her and the bleeding guard. Byulyi swore under her breath and hid behind the wall. The other man approached them with his sword raised and he was about to scream to warn others when Byul grabbed him by his neck and jumped on his back. It took her a few seconds to slash his throat, feeling the disgusting aura of death on her hands. She managed to put the an down as slowly as she could and walked to the side of the building. The other man who was about the twice her size was the most intimidating of the bunch. That’s why she needed to take him down even before he saw her. Grabbing a stone from the ground, she threw it towards the bushes in front of the man, making them move a bit. Guard moved closer to the bush to investigate, his hand grasping the sword tightly at the moment Byulyi ran and stabbed him in his back, covering his mouth at the same time. It stood against everything she was trained for, but these bastards didn’t play fair in the beginning anyways.

The only ones left were the men standing in front of the door which stood between Byul and the princess. She couldn’t take them down without the other noticing, which meant that she would have to engage in a 2-1 sword fight. Even if she knew that she could win it, her heart was beating rapidly.

Deciding that the element of surprise was on her side, Byulyi leaned against the wall, watching the two with stealth. They didn’t seem alarmed or ready to fight which made Byulyi exhale with relief. She grasped her sword handle before dashing towards them, striking one down immediately with a slash across his chest. The other, clearly shocked by his friend’s sudden collapse, drew his sword a few seconds late. Those seconds were enough for Byulyi.

As the last guard stood at her feet, bleeding to death, she cautiously opened the doors. She sighed with the waves of relief that washed her over at the second she saw the princess, alone in the storage room.  Her muffled screams of happiness filled Byulyi with joy. She rushed to Yong Sun’s side, freeing her from her shackles.

“Byul-ah! I love you so much!” She cried against her chest. Her sobs were heart-breaking but knowing that she was in her arms soothed her heart. “Thank you so much!”

“Are you okay, noona? Are you hurt? Did those bastards touch you?” She asked choking back her own tears. Hours of panic, anxiety, worry and fear drained her emotionally and physically. “Are you feeling well enough to walk? We have to get out of here.”

Yong Sun got up as she cried and held on to Byulyi for support. “I’m fine, Byul-ah. I nearly bit off five peoples hand off but I’m fine.”

Byulyi handed her a dagger as they walked away together. Yong Sun looked at her intensely before stopping her. “Let’s run away.”

Byulyi stopped in her tracks, her heart skipping a beat. “What?”

“You heard me. Let’s run far away while we can.” She pleaded with a look that would haunt her forever. “I love you and I know you feel the same. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and the only thing stopping us now is not there. My father thinks I might be dead. We can be together.”

Byulyi’s heart ached as she screamed in her head. There was nothing more she wanted but her secret made it impossible for their end to be a happily ever after. She shook her head and watched the princess’ face morph into a frown. “There are things you don’t know about me, things that I know for a fact, would make you want to kill me for making you suffer through loving me.”

That earned her a loud slap from the princess. “You know what Dae Hyun? Fuck you.” She said, running her hands through her hair in distress. “I am willing to give everything I have to live with you. And this is your response? What could you be hiding that is so horrifying? That you killed people? I know that. That you slept with someone else? I can get over that. What is it, you goddamn piece of shit?”

Byulyi wanted to scream at her face, rip her clothes off and let the whole damn world know that the mighty son of the general was not a son at all. But all she could do was impulsively grabbing the princess by her collar and smashing their lips together. There was no logic behind her action, only love, heart-break and lust. Those were also the reasons why she didn’t hear the man coming behind her and the sound of her own knife flying towards her back. The pain was there alongside with Yong Sun’s horrified face. Her vision became blurry and the last thing she saw was a screaming Yong Sun grabbing her sword and running towards her attacker.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun Dun DUN 
> 
> (im sorry and pardon Yong Sun's français)


	20. Sharing an Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back? back again with more drama
> 
> we have about 4 chapthers left, i am excited to end this in a way we all hopefully will like :3
> 
> i have a new idea circling around moonsun that includes red velvet as well but we'll see ;)
> 
> !!!there is a moonsun ff fest in tumblr rn so you might want to check that out!!!
> 
> http://moomoocentral.tumblr.com/post/169542955417/fanfiction-fest-prompting-is-now-open
> 
> i will have a long ass end note but its mostly my idiotic ranting that i needed to get out of my system so you can skip it and it wont affect the story 
> 
> enjoy and uinyeo means female healer/doctor

  
Yong Sun feels every fiber in her body spring into action when she sees the man with a massive cut on his torso come towards them with a sword, looking furious. She wanted to shove Byul Gi to the side and take the blow herself. Or perhaps warn him before it was too late. But only thing she could do was to see everything happen in front of her and scream. Byul’s eyes widened before he went limb in her arms and groaned as he blacked out. Yong Sun held him up for a second, tears blurring her vision as she reached for the sword on Byulyi. She was trained for this moment. She would finally pay Byul back for all those years of care and protection.

  
She screamed at the top of her lungs as she charged towards the man. Years of training were flashing in her mind as she calculated the man’s next move. He was pretty easy to read, after all she trained with Byul. He never ever showed his weak sides or his blind spots, guarding them with the cold look he only reserved for fighting. Her body shuddered as his gaze came to her mind. She swung her sword. The man dodged. Their dance continued.

  
She carefully placed her steps, her eyes never leaving the man and looking for an opening. His damaged side was making him wince in pain every now and then, but he still looked down at her, she was a mere woman, a fragile princess after all. He seemed bored with their fight, apparently, as he swung his sword towards her, drawing speed from his sheer power. Yong Sun, having predicted this, stepped aside and kicked the man’s stomach, knocking the air out off him, making him double over in pain. Then she grabbed his hideous ponytail and climbed on his back, exposing his neck for her sword.

  
“I can end you this second, you scum, or I can show mercy. Which will you choose?” she whispered dangerously in his ear. “Is your blood even valuable enough to stain my sword?”

  
“Fuck you, you little royal whore!” he shouted angrily as he tried to knock her off his back. She latched on and pressed her sword even harder. “I will kill you and your pretty boy after I have my fun. Your corpses will be pissed on, you wench.”

 

Yong Sun wasted no time slashing her sword across his neck. This wasn’t wrong, she was cleansing her kingdom after all.

  
She hopped off the dead man’s back and hurried to Byul’s side. He was groaning in pain, delirious with his words. She choked on her tears as she saw the state of his shoulder, it was bleeding everywhere, staining his back like a canvas.

  
“Byul-ah, what should I do?” she asked in panic.

  
Byul’s speech was really disturbed but she managed to understand. “Back... to capital… my mom. Ride…. West…”

  
Yong Sun nodded and started looking around for a horse. She noticed a small stable with two horses. Relief washed over her as she tried to pick Byul up and move towards the horses. This made her realize that if she didn’t clog the wound somehow, there would be no Byul left to take back. She reached down and ripped a part of her skirt. Cautiously stuffing the wound with cloth, she went and retrieved one of the horses.

  
Time was against her as she rode through the forest, clinging to an unmoving Byul, hoping that her little aid would keep him alive just enough.

 

* * *

 

Yong Sun knew that her reappearance would be big news on its own. Her riding a horse full speed towards her guard’s house while holding onto that said guard was without a doubt shocking to the common folk. She knew that, and she couldn’t care less.

  
The moment she saw the Moon residence, relief washed over her. The cloth she kept pressuring on Byul’s injury was deep crimson with the loyal blood of the boy. The only good thing she held onto during the entire ride was the fact that he was still breathing, still clutching to his princess with determination.

  
She got off her horse and banged on the door repeatedly until somebody heard her cries for help.

  
“What is the meaning of this?” said Moon Dae Shim, looking furious as he stepped out in his nightwear, holding a lantern. His displeased face was even more scary up-close when it was illuminated by the soft light of the flame. She gathered her words and pointed at the boy who was bleeding on her horse.

  
“Byul-ah is bleeding to death, he told me to bring him back to his mother. Please, wake her Moon Dae Shim-sshi.” She said with pleading eyes. His eyes widened as he recognized the princess much later than he should have. But who could blame him? The girl was covered in blood and mud, her hair sticking out from every angle and fatigue was about to take overher. The only times the general saw the young princess were in palace, where she was constantly in the hands of maids and servants, always looking like the epitome of grace and beauty. He immediately bowed. “Your grace, I’m sorry to not have recognized you.”

 

“There is no time for politeness, Moon Dae Shim-sshi.” She scolded him. “Take your son inside!”

  
With her blunt order, the general jolted wide awake and hurriedly picked up his bleeding son off the horse. “May I come in?” asked Yong Sun as the man carried his son through the doors. He looked back at her with worry.

  
“Of course, your grace, but I think you mustn’t worry your father anymore.”

  
She shook her head and stepped in. “I owe gratitude to Byul-ah, who saved my life, not my father who waited on his throne the whole time.”

  
“Alright then, your grace.” He said and kicked a door open. “Tae Yeon, wake up, get your mother. Dae Hyun is back and bleeding.”

  
He laid Byul Gi on his chest, leaving his scarred shoulder bare. Before he stripped his son off his shirt, he looked back and eyed the princess worriedly. “This is no sight for a princess, your grace. My wife will come shortly, I have to ask you to wait outside.”

  
Bowing respectfully, she complied his wishes. He didn’t know, of course that the ‘sight not suitable for the princess’ happened right in front of her, right before she killed the one responsible. She crouched down by the door waiting for something, anything to happen.

  
Byul’s mother came rushing a minute after, her hands full of medical equipment. After she went in, Moon Dae Shim was thrown out as well as everyone else other than the uinyeo.

  
“Excuse me, your grace, but can we at least send a messenger to the king? He is worried sick.” Said Dae Shim, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He sat down as well, leaving a respectful distance between them. “What happened to you, your grace?”

  
“I was taken during night, I don’t know how many days has it been, and they always kept me blindfolded whilst traveling. They didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything… They just kept me in dark.” She said sighing. “Then I heard fighting from outside, Dae Hyun-ah opened the doors and got me out.”

  
She was going to continue honestly but stopped herself at the last second. “We didn’t notice the man behind us and he stabbed Dae Hyun-ah in the back. I assume he fought the man beforehand and knocked him out. I quickly grabbed Dae Hyun-ah’s sword and took care of the already injured, weak man. The rest is clear, I suppose.”

  
Dae Shim had his eyebrows raised in surprise as he listened to her. “I am quite impressed, your grace. Injured or not, taking care of an enemy without any training is nothing but pure talent. Maybe I should recruit you to into my troops.” He joked. “Everything aside, thank you for saving my son’s life. It should have been the opposite, but I am thankful nonetheless.”

  
Yong Sun felt anger rise in her gut. “I do not see Dae Hyun as a simple pawn to put forward as a shield. We have a mutual, respectful friendship. I would die for him as he would for me.” She said simply, looking at the general directly. “And he did save me, many times and in more ways than one. I believe, I can never repay him for what he has done for me. You have nothing to be thankful for, this simply does not concern you, its between friends who share an eternity.”

  
General Dae Shim didn’t say anything, even if he was offended by the young girl’s words Yong Sun couldn’t bring herself to care.

  
Half an hour passed and the door separating Yong Sun and her beloved parted slightly, letting a petite woman pass through before closing once again. She looked tired. Yong Sun hurried back up on her feet and bowed to the woman in front of her.

  
“Hello, Moon Song Yi-sshi. Nice to finally meet you.” She said smiling. “How is he?”

  
Song Yi looked surprised as she saw the princess looking at her with a worried expression. She bowed with confusion. “Welcome and nice to meet you too, your grace. I am honored.” She said, sighing deeply afterwards. “He’s fine, he will need to rest for a few days to gain his strength back. Thank you so much for bringing me my precious child back, Dae Hyun is still my baby. He would have died if you were too late. He lost a lot of blood.”

  
Yong Sun felt relief wash over her in waves. Byul-ah was fine. He was alive. She exhaled deeply, finally feeling like she was breathing. She looked at the couple in front of her with a shy gaze. “Can I please stay the night, beside Dae Hyun? I don’t think I will be able to sleep with worry and guilt anyways.”

  
To say that both looked shocked was an understatement. They looked at each other but there wasn’t really a decision to make, a guest, a royal one at that, asked for something. They couldn’t refuse. “Of course, your grace, but let me offer you a hot bath and a room of your own first. You can still check up on him, whenever you want.” Offered Song Yi. The woman wanted to make things seem less suspicious. Yong Sun accepted the offer, knowing that sleep wouldn’t come, and she would go back to his side but right then, she could use a bath.

  
“Thank you for opening your home to me.”  
 

* * *

 

The word was brewing around the town, hushed whispers carrying all sorts of falsehoods and facts. But they had somethings in common; they were all about the princess and her guard. The whole town knew the details of her rescue, how the princess came back with her guard’s bleeding, unconscious body on her horse, also covered in blood as well, how she refused to leave his side until guards forcefully dragged her back to the palace and how the girl kept sneaking out and going back until the boy woke up. The buzz around the town was absolutely thrilling. Romance of the century some even said. A distasteful scandal, others opposed.

 

Byul heard all of these and managed to turn her head to them, not responding and keeping her posture. She gained her strength back, enough to get up and walk by herself and she was immediately summoned by the king. She was ready to get scolded, she let the princess down, had her carry her useless body out of there and get her back in time. Who was the guard now?

  
Before she could let out a sigh, she felt a hand on her arm and she was getting pulled. She was ready to fight but saw the person was Yong Sun. She knew that the princess was grounded, all because she insisted on visiting her every day. She was foolish, indeed. The type of foolish that warmed her inside, gave her the push to get out of bed every morning. She quickly looked around before following the girl to a narrow corridor.

  
They stood there, a familiar, comfortable silence filling the air between them. Their affection was there for all to see, pulsing alongside their heartbeats. Yong Sun inhaled deeply before asking. Are you okay?”

  
Byulyi smiled down at the girl and leaned back. “I feel a lot better. It seems like there was a holy being helping me heal. I am thankful honestly.” She said smirking, she knew this wasn’t helping her in anyway. Her flirting made everything worse, she lead her on to nothing but disappointment and betrayal but she couldn’t stop. This, the thing between them, was in her nature.

  
Yong Sun smiled and slapped her arm playfully. “Maybe it was a mean spirit, after all, you’re still alive and annoying me.”

  
Byul acted as if she was deeply hurt. “Noona, you know I was injured. How can you hit me? I might die now.” She clutched at her chest, mimicking a heart attack. “Call for the healer!”

  
Yong Sun laughed as she continued to smack her arm. “Stop it, stupid.”

  
Relishing the sweet sound of Yong Sun’s laughter, Byul looked at her with a permanent smile on her face. A few seconds later, Yong Sun noticed her gaze and blushed. “Yah, Byul-ah, stop looking at me like that! Some may think you have inappropriate thoughts about your princess.”

  
“What sort of inappropriate thoughts?” She asked, playing the innocent. “Like holding hands or king forbid…” She said looking horrified and whispered. “Maybe kissing a cheek.”  
“I was going for something a bit more extreme, like this…” Yong Sun said, her voice a bit low. She leaned in and kissed her in the lightest way possible. Byul knew she shouldn’t but every fiber of her being ached and longed for this. She deepened their kiss, her hands boldly reached around her waist and her body shamelessly leaned closer to hers as if it means to become one with her. Their moment was interrupted when they heard a voice calling for Byul. At that moment Byulyi remembered that she was to meet with the king. And she kept him waiting. The king was waiting.

  
She jolted at her own thoughts and separated herself from her noona. Yong Sun’s look was something she could have admired for hours but the circumstances prevented her from doing so. “I have to go.”

  
“Come back when you’re done. I’ll be in my garden, and the tea will be waiting for you.” She said smiling. Yong Sun kissed her cheek one last time and disappeared behind a door.

  
Byulyi’s head was still in the clouds, far away from reality when she was in front of the king. He looked angry, but she couldn’t care less. She just felt happy.

  
“In a crisis like this, Moon Dae Hyun, I find your ability to grin like a fool disturbing.” Said the King looking directly in her eyes. She looked down in shame as he continued. “As I said, your father told me all the information you gathered, and I’ve decided that the generosity we offered them is long overdue. A war will be declared by me, as I should have long ago.”

  
Byulyi knew this was coming. There was no way the king would stand by and do nothing after those clans pulled a stunt like this. The thing she couldn’t wrap her head around was, why did he tell her these things? She was a talented guard, but she was no general. To this point he only talked about this matter, so he wasn’t going to scold her. What was the point of all this?

  
“As clearly seen from your face, young man, you are confused. Why am I telling you these things, right?” He asked, almost amused. “Well, these past days made me realize a lot that included you. My daughter and your princess cares a great deal about you. She even went against my direct order to see if you were fine. And I’ve decided that, I will acknowledge this bond you two seem to have.”

  
Byulyi held her breath, where was he going with this?

  
“I give you my blessings to marry...” He said out of nowhere. Byulyi’s eyes widened with horror, excitement, joy and many more contradicting emotions. “If you come out of this war alive and with a victory for me. I will give you your own troop. Not a big one, of course, but nevertheless a troop. Come back alive and marry her.”

  
Byulyi felt like splitting in half. This was the greatest and the worst thing that ever happened to her. She could actually marry Yong Sun. She could have a home, a life together with her. But this meant she would have to tell the truth to her, the ugly naked truth she has been hiding for years, shamelessly lying to her smiling face and her embracing lips.  
Nothing felt real at that moment. Fear of rejection and hope for future clashed in her mind as she bowed and left the room with the orders to get ready to leave in a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel a lot of glares directed at me and i love it >:D
> 
> and now the rant nobody asked for; (feel free to discuss in the comments with me or dm me) 
> 
> • i love hello my twenties/age of youth and they did us so dirty with song-unnie and her love interest. im so angry about that little girl thing, how dare they???? i love my unnie, how dare theyyy??? and honestly give me my own reporter sunbae, cause damn am i emotionally attached to him ♡ btw tall bae is bae. iff you dont watch the show, watch the show rn??!??  
> • i hate it when boy groups do girl groups dances in an undermining, sarcastic way that makes fun of them. i get that the moves are often cutesy and all but there is no need to put them down and reduce their carrers to laughing material. you dont see me making fun of weird phase that every boy group goes through that includes weird im-a-tough-guy look with aggressive tones (at least in public)  
> • i hate it when idols say that they are on a diet or they gained 'a lot' of weight when i can probs lift them with my little finger. i hate the beauty standarts that dictate size 0, white pale skin and unrealistic body shapes. they are humans. stop.  
> • and finally i hate it when the 'woke' people of the internet treat everyone like they should be aware of everthing that is going okn in the world. i understand that cultural appropriation, blm, blackface etc. are big issues but try to imagine (if you are from usa or somewhere multiethnic like there) what it is like to live in a single race country where the majority either dont speak english or dont follow the foreign media. i assure you, as a person who lives in a country like that, nobody who doesnt know english knows anything about these issues. they still think its cool to say the n-word because all the cool kids in mv say it. as for idols, they might be celebs but they are korean pop singers. if they know english or if they are from another country then they have no excuse. but when a group like mamamoo, all members korean and none fluent in english, does something wrong, its most likely because they dont know it is wrong not because they are evil or problematic. it is easy to assume everyone has the same education or experiances as you do but it is also idiotic to think as such. im not saying it justifies every action of a non-english speaker but the reaction to them should be more educative and informing rather than ranting and labeling them racist or whatever.  
> rant over. thanks.  
> will see you soon. feel free to argue or agree with me ;)


	21. A Letter of Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter but a heavy one. A chapter I've been waiting for a long time. 
> 
> I'm sorry for this :(

_My Dearest Princess Kim Yong Sun,_

_I write you this letter with shaky hands and a heavy heart. My cowardice may never be forgiven by you, you may never pardon me for hiding behind ink and paper, revealing my true colors when it’s too late. I can hear your thoughts while reading this, you’re probably thinking; ‘There he goes with that “I have secret that will make you hate me.” thing again. When will he understand that I love him no matter what?”_

_The problem with that thought is that ‘he’ will never understand you love him. ‘He’ can never be with you, ever. Because ‘he’ doesn’t exist. There is no boy named Moon Dae Hyun who loves his princess. There is, however, a girl named Moon Byul Yi who is forced to be Moon Dae Hyun and loves her princess._

_You are probably reading my last sentence a few times to make even the tiniest amount of sense out of it. And I don’t blame you. Before sitting down to write this long-overdue confession to you, I thought of numerous ways of telling you the truth and I can understand if it’s too much to take in._

_I was born midst winter, eighteen years ago. My real name, the name my mother intended to give me, is Moon Byul Yi. I don’t know if you remember but that was why I was so pleasantly surprised when the nickname you thought for me was so close to my real self. That wasn’t the only name I was given that day, there was also Moon Dae Hyun; the name my father chose for his long-awaited son he never had. He was sick of having daughters and during his outburst, he decided that I would be that son. I was never given the chance or the freedom to live honestly._

_He brought me up as a boy, I learned everything that would be expected of a general’s son. I was the epitome of a prodigy son. I wasn’t really aware that this secret would affect my whole life that much when I was a child. Until I met you._

_The king summoned me to meet you for the first time, saying that I would be your guard when my training was over, I was thrilled. I never saw someone as beautiful and interesting as you until that day. I don’t know if you remember but you asked me why I looked like a girl. I thought you saw right through me, all those years, until you told me you loved me, I thought you knew, deep down you knew and didn’t care._

_I can feel your confusion and heart break while writing this. It is too much to take in, perhaps. But I want you to know that my feelings for you are the only honest things in my life. We never talked about these issues, women loving each other, with you that deeply but I desperately clung to your response to Whee In and her lover. You said you read about it and you didn’t seem disgusted. I chose to believe that maybe you would accept me too._

_But I know I am being delusional. You love a false version of me, one that is a lie and never should have existed. As I said, I am writing this with a heavy heart, a heart full of sorrow and fear._

_Sorrow for our love, that is only one-sided in a way. You loved Dae Hyun and I loved a Yong Sun who knew me and loved me, again, that is me being delusional._

_Fear for the future. Fear that I might never return but also fear that I might return to find hatred and coldness from you. Fear of the love I have for you that makes me incapable of choosing which of those options is the worst._

_I want to end this by apologizing, deeply and with sincerity. I lied to you and toyed with your emotions. I couldn’t stop myself from retuning your affections and I lead us to a disaster ending. And I am sorry that I am such a coward that leaves you a truth like this in a letter I made you promise not to open until I go to war._

_This letter does not mean my feelings are also lies. I still love every single part of you more than I love anything else. I still feel breathless every time you cross my mind. I still can’t feel my legs when you look that pretty and I still can’t help but falling in love all over again when you talk passionately about things you love._

_Now all I wish is to give you peace and time to get over this heart-break. Maybe it is for the best if I die serving my country, my princess. If I never return, I wanted you to know that even in my last moments, you will be there in my mind, my soul and my heart, as you always are. I will always love you, unnie._

_Your Loyal Guard, Your Hopeless Admirer, Your Dishonorable Liar;_

_Moon Byul Yi, Daughter of Moon Song Yi and Moon Dae Shim_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be back soon


	22. Accepting One's Self

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey people of the moonsun community!!
> 
> i am back fast as i promised, im in a school break so no studies, yayyy!!
> 
> enjoy this chapter and wait for a badass Yong Sun in the next one
> 
>  
> 
> ps. dont kill me in the end of this chap. >:3

Yong Sun’s eyes skimmed through the worn-out parchment for the millionth time since she opened the letter. Drinking every word in, trying to make sense out of the reality those statements set out for her, Yong Sun felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her entire world was being thrown off its axis by a few words written on a page.

  
Her internal struggle could last an entire lifetime, she figured during the only calm moment in her breakdown a day ago. It wasn’t guaranteed that Byul Yi would come back, there was no safe bet. She could feel herself on the edge of her own mind, looking down at an abyss of chaos, hesitating to hold onto sanity. Those words were too much to take in.

  
Were they really? That was the question she would try to answer next. If she put the fact that she had been lied to for eleven years, did this really change her emotions in any way? When she pictured her life with Byul-ah, did her mind even took their genders into account? When she thought of Byul, a lot of things came to her mind; their shared memories, their awkward years growing up, her smirk, her pouting face, concentrated expression on her face when they dueled, the softness of her lips when they meet with hers, the sound of her breath when there was nothing else to hear…

  
When she actually thought about them, gender wasn’t even in her mind. She didn’t question it before, she fell in love with a person after all. But knowing that the other was a girl all along was different. Way too different.

  
At first, she didn’t believe it. How could she? It was almost like learning that sky wasn’t blue. She didn’t think about the possibility of Byul not being a man as she didn’t think of the sky as any other color.

  
Spiraling in her mind once again, Yong Sun folded the letter in half. Going through the folding line with her nails soothed her, she almost felt like she could stop the letter from existing. She folded it once more. And once more. And once more. Until there was no way of folding it anymore. Releasing the breath she didn’t realize she held in, she began to unfold it. Each layer took its own toll on her.

  
Seventh layer meant acceptance of reality. When she smoothed out that layer, she came to agreement with the content of that letter being true, not some horrible joke her guard decided to expose her to.

  
Sixth layer meant consequences. The paper unfolded as she realized the outcomes of those words. What exactly changed due to Byul becoming a girl? No, that wasn’t right. Byul, apparently was always a girl, so the real question was, what changed in their relationship now that Yong Sun knew? She couldn’t think of an absolute answer to that.  
Fifth layer was more complicated. The paper that kept getting bigger slowly questioned her being. Who was Yong Sun? How did the ink that turned into confessions on that paper affected her existence, her reality? She didn’t know that either.

  
Fourth layer was one that was full of disappointment. The feeling she couldn’t shake off was betrayal. Everything aside, Byul, she trusted everything with lied to her face since the beginning about a fundamental part of her. But then again, was her gender really that important when it came to the bond that formed between them?

  
Third layer was the hard truth that struck her in the face. Even when she felt furious towards Byul, wrecking everything in her path at that moment to get her anger out, she knew deep down inside her emotions towards her never even wavered. She still felt giddy whenever she thought of Byul’s smile or numb when her soft breath came to her mind, the memory of her eyes flickering to her parted lips as they shared a meaningful silence.

  
Second layer was once again acceptance. Acceptance of the reality that she couldn’t change. Acceptance of the person she loved and couldn’t change. Acceptance of the cruel fate that tied their fingers together with red strings only to place an impossible knot in between.

 

And when she was once again greeted by now-familiar words on the page, she felt her tears race down her cheeks. She didn’t know how to feel, how to react or during those really intense moments, how to function anymore. She wasn’t that knowledgeable when it came to the love between two women, but she also didn’t have any sort of opinion on it either. She didn’t even spare it much glance, thinking that it was a thing that existed far away from her, and would never cross her path since she already found the love of her life, a boy. Little did she know that life wasn’t as simple as a fairytale.

  
She turned once again in her bed, letter secure in her hands and mind slowly floating away, starting the entire process once again.

  
Her ears perked up at the sound of knocking, her mind instinctively jumping to the idea that it might be Byul.

  
“Your grace? Can I come in?” hearing Eun Ji’s voice crushed her momentary hopes, but she gave her permission. Even if she was in the brink of a mental breakdown, she couldn’t put her country at risk by showing weakness in a time like this.

  
“What is it, Eun Ji?” she asked sitting up on her bed. Her servant had worry written all over her face, she looked at the princess smiling but underneath that polite gesture there was an obvious fear for her.

  
“My Princess, there is someone who wants to meet you. We denied but she insisted saying that you would want to talk to her about a long- overdue confession. She also mentioned the name Moon Byul Yi.” Eun Ji said quickly. “What shall we do about her, your grace?”

  
Yong Sun got up on her feet once she heard her name being uttered. Maybe Byul payed someone to explain that letter to her. Regaining her posture, Yong Sun ordered with a firm voice. “Escort my guest to my garden and lay out cushions for us. I will be there shortly, and I will be expecting tea. Make them feel comfortable.”

  
As soon as Eun Ji left her room with a bow, Yong Sun looked at the mirror for the first time in those two days. Her hair was a mess, her dress was wrinkled, and she looked like she didn’t have an ounce of sleep for a long time. She sighed before grabbing the comb to tame her hair.

  
When she stepped out to her garden, looking somewhat presentable, she noticed the older girl sitting on Byul’s cushion, calmly sipping tea as she looked around. Yong Sun walked towards her, glancing at Eun Ji to announce her presence.

  
“Princess Kim Yong Sun.” Eun Ji said with a loud voice. The girl got up on her feet and bowed with respect.

  
“Introduce yourself please.” Said Yong Sun, gesturing her to stand up straight.

  
“I am Moon Tae Yeon, your grace. Byul’s unnie.” She said, giving her a reassuring smile.

  
Yong Sun looked at her eyes deeply as she ordered Eun Ji. “Eun Ji, I want everyone to clear the garden, I don’t want to be disturbed for the next hour or so.” She said sitting down, watching Tae Yeon sit as well. “Leave the tea pot.”

  
After looking at them with worry and suspicion, Eun Ji left to do as ordered. Another minute passed before neither of them opened their mouths.

  
“I assume you have questions, your grace. I am here to answer them as accurately as possible due to Byulyi’s request.” Tea Yeon started by setting down her tea. “But before anything else is mentioned, I have to ask you to not to judge and blame her entirely. She has had a hard life.”

  
Taking a deep breath, Yong Sun searched her mind for questions. She could ask anything, and she would get an answer. Was there anything she was curious about? She couldn’t decide. She blanked out.

  
“Tell me everything. Everything about Moon Byul Yi.” She demanded.

  
Tae Yeon looked amused for a second. “Alright, I will. But I must say that you probably know her better than any of us.” She speculated. Then she sipped her tea before beginning. “I was ten years old when she came to this world. My parents knew that she would be the last child of our family. My mother already gave birth to eight children before her, her health wouldn’t allow more. That was why my father, the general as you know him, was so hellbent on having a son. He apparently promised your father a son to pledge to his service. It was a matter of honor or something as equally idiotic that men use to justify ruining people’s lives.”

  
She sighed. “That was why he was so furious when Byulyi came out as a girl from the womb. I can still remember his face. He was red with anger; his tantrum was poisoning his mind. He drew his sword in the delivery room, threating to kill us all if we ever referred to Byulyi as a girl or called her anything other than Dae Hyun. We obeyed and that was the seal of her fate. She was brought up as a boy, lived as a boy. I knew she hated it but there was nothing she could do. If she told the king, he might have ordered both my father’s and her execution. If she told you, you could be disgusted with her, at least that was what she feared. She would cry you know, she used to cry every night, choking out between her tears that she loved you and she felt so wrong; she was lying to you and herself. She felt wrong for deceiving you, loving another woman. I held her close during those times, prevented her from doing anything stupid. You were both teenagers, I thought this minor liking would pass and she would find a boy to love. But then again that would be wrong as well in the eyes of the folk. She couldn’t win either way.”

  
Yong sun felt tears prickle at her eyes, her anger began to rise towards the inequality Byul had to endure. Being a princess that was handed everything in life left a bitter taste in her mouth as she listened on.

 

“When I noticed that this bond of yours wasn’t getting any better, I began to worry. I was so sure you wouldn’t accept her for who she is, and I’m sorry if I’m offending you, your grace, but I still think like that. My little sister being in love with a woman was not a problem for me. Her heart getting broken into little pieces, however, is a problem. That was why I was so thrilled when Whee In-sshi came into the picture. She was actually a girl that liked girls and was willing to marry Byul. I thought she was her chance of getting over you. But being the compassionate idiot she is, she reunited Whee In-sshi and her lover, leaving herself alone, once again.”

  
“After that she was so gloomy, you getting engaged wrecked her. She was forced to hang around your fiancée, and the worst thing was that she actually liked him. He was a good friend for her, at least that’s what she told me. She had a breakdown shouting “I can’t hate him, I can’t hate her, and I hate myself even more than usual.” I wanted to comfort her but there was nothing I could do. After that whole thing went away, I once again started watching her pine after you with the same old hopeless expression and a heavy heart. Then you got kidnapped. That was the most terrifying thing I experienced.”

  
Tae Yeon shuddered with a grim expression on her face. She must have gone back to that moment. “She came home looking like nothing I’ve seen before. She didn’t look alive. She looked so lost. I never saw her cry in front of anyone else but me, and yet she burst into tears as soon as she made eye contact with me. I told her to go and look for you, nothing was over yet, you were still alive and all, her eyes slowly came back to life with each word and that was when I surrendered, she was madly in love with you and nothing I could hope for would change that. I sent her away and you carried her back in blood. I was shocked, never seeing you before, I always assumed her feelings were one-sided. But the worried look you had shook me to my core. You loved her, but wasn’t aware that she was a woman. I got so many headaches because of you kids, really.” She said smiling sadly. Taking a sip of her now-cold tea, she looked around for a second. She looked lost in her thoughts.

  
“You should have seen her when I told her that you saved her from there, carried her back and came to see her every day until you got punished and stood your ground. She looked so proud! It was like her injury didn’t matter at all. She was smiling like a fool all day. I knew, deep inside, she was mourning. She always mourned for your complicated relationship; she knew it wouldn’t work, she feared the confrontation, and she wanted you to be happy. So, imagine her when your father offered her your hand. It was everything she wanted but also her biggest fear. She wanted to be with you forever but also feared your rejection more than anything. That was why she cried into my arms, made me promise to visit you, make sure you understood everything, knew every detail that she couldn’t tell you herself.” She finished, her eyes searched Yong Sun’s for a clue. “I really hope for you to at least forgive her. She deserves that, I believe.”

  
Yong Sun just stood there for a long time, letting the tears run down her cheeks, staining her dress one drop at a time. She couldn’t bring herself to talk. Her emotions were all over the place. She knew what she felt but she couldn’t bring herself to accept it. She couldn’t agree with that voice in her head that whispered love to her.  
“There is nothing to forgive.” She finally whispered. “I won’t make a slave apologize for her shackles.”

  
Tae Yeon silently watched her as she quietly sobbed. Sobbed for everything that has been and could have been in different circumstances. She cried for her love, she cried for the war, she cried for not being able to accept herself.

 

“I have to ask you a question.” Said Tae Yeon, her hand searching for something in her sleeve. “Do you still feel the same feelings towards her?”

  
Yong Sun nodded without a doubt, even surprising herself. She looked up with tears in her eyes, Tae Yeon was smiling sympathetically as she handed her a small book. Cover read ‘The Tale of Two Lovers’. Yong Sun curiously inspected the book and looked at her in question.

  
“Byul said that if you said your feelings didn’t change, this would make things easier for you. To accept yourself and her.” She said with a knowing smile. “I promised to her that I would make sure you were okay, and I intend to keep my promise. Feel free to summon me or come by our house. My door is always open to you, your grace.”

  
Setting her tea down for the last time, she got up and bowed. “It was an honor to finally meet you, my princess.”

  
“Likewise, Tae Yeon-unnie.” She said gesturing her to stop bowing. “Thank you, I feel more at ease now.”

  
Tae Yeon looked teary eyed for a second before surprising Yong Sun with a hug. “Yah, you kids are killing me! What am I supposed to do with you?” She said, chin on Yong Sun’s shoulder. “You are driving me insane, you two.”

 

* * *

 

Weeks and months passed by with pain and longing, acceptance and refusal, bothering and torturing Yong Sun to insanity. She read the book that Byul left her alongside with a note that read; I have found myself in this book, finally felt like breathing. I hope you find us in it.

  
The book left her feeling giddy, hurt, sad, joyous and overall confused. Alongside accepting love between women, she also learned other things such as… the intimate details between women. She blushed thinking about those lines, her stomach doing flips in her. Sitting next to her father for a public hearing was not an appropriate time for this.  
Her thoughts were interrupted by a messenger, out of breath as he entered the throne room.

  
“My king, I am sorry to enter like this, but I am here to announce that General Moon Dae Shim sent his word to tell you that the last battle is over. We are victorious and out troops are on their way back.” He said proudly.

  
Yong Sun was too busy screaming in joy in her mind to notice the people around her cheering as well. Byulyi was coming back home, that was all that mattered.

 

* * *

Looking through the crowd, she tried to spot Byulyi. Everyone was enthusiastically greeting the soldiers, thanking them for their bravery. 

Finally, she spotted a familiar face in the army.

  
“Moon Dae Shim-sshi! General-nim!” she called out. The general noticed her and bowed down.

  
“Your grace.” He greeted her. “You look happier than ever.”

  
“Yes, I am. Thanks to your victory. Now, if you don’t mind me asking, where is Dae Hyun?” she asked in a hurry.

  
He looked down with sadness. “I last saw him take a blow and we couldn’t find his body. I am sorry your grace, but he is marked as missing.”

  
The world stopped spinning and her heart felt heavier than ever. She sank to her knees, feeling the general catch her before falling down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun Dun DUN
> 
> dont worry people, everything will be okay (:


	23. Echoing Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have 2 chapters left so, get ready people

Yong Sun’s head pounded as she forcefully opened her eyes, trying to remember what caused her to be in that situation. Last thing she remembered was talking to Moon Dae Shim… Oh…

Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest, the man’s words echoing in her mind, making her cry in disbelief. After going through ridiculous obstacles, she thought they would be together at last. But the fate that mocked them with every opportunity, laughed in their face once more. This time, it was more of a slap though. Because this time, there was a chance that she was dead, forgotten in a ditch and stained with her own blood.

Even if she felt her whole energy getting drained, she sat up in bed and looked around for a familiar face. What she didn’t expect to find was her father sitting on her cushions, watching her with a worried expression.

She immediately bowed, as much as possible while sitting down, but regretted doing so. Her head went dizzy as she sat upright once again.

“Father, you’re here.” She said, blankly stating the obvious. She needed to get out of there.

“Yes, dear.” He said smiling. “How are you?”

“Not the best I’ve felt but not dying entirely.” She said absently. “Father, may I ask a favor of you?”

“I know what you want dear, but I can not do that. My men are weak right now. We might be victorious, but wars are never good for both sides. I can’t set my men on a mission to find a dead body. I am sorry.” He said looking like he didn’t care at all.

“It is funny how you have every fund available to defend your pride but none for your daughters shattered heart. Truly wonderous.” She snapped, knowing that, father or not, yelling at the king was never a good idea.

“Mind your tone and tongue, young woman. There are plenty of men who are worthier than a simple guard. You will find another.” He said dismissing her with his hand.

Yong Sun was furious beyond belief. She felt her face go red and entirely forgot about her fainting. “There is not one man in this world who could be as worthy and as valuable my Dae Hyun. Either you let me go find him, or I will end this torture of mine called life without a hesitation.” She yelled getting up on her feet and taking a step towards her father. “And before I go, I will make sure that everyone knows the death of their princess is in her father’s hands.”

Kim Ju Kan sat there, his eyes widened with surprise as he listened to his daughter. “You? How can you ever find someone by yourself? You are a spoiled princess who knows nothing about the outside world.”

Yong Sun stomped her foot down as she folded her arms. “Why don’t we test it out and see if I’m as helpless as you think?”

Her father laughed at her, mocking her alongside her own fate. “Alright. I will let you humor me. Beat your own guards in a duel and I will let you go and find that boy.”

Yong Sun smirked and bowed. “Your offer is accepted my king.”

 

* * *

 

Yong Sun stood in front of her father, in Byul’s clothes, her sword hanging from her hips and her face stern with determination.

Her father looked thoroughly amused as he sipped on his wine, sitting on his throne which was on the platform of the training yard.

“Today we gathered here my loyal men, because Princess Yong Sun dared to speak up against her king and acted all high and mighty. She claimed that she could beat her own guards in a sword duel. We shall see if those claims are true. Unlikely, I know, but truly amusing.”

Yong Sun gripped her swords handle tightly as she forced out a smile towards the crowd of men laughing. She wanted to run towards them and slash through them with her sword but that was no way a lady should act.

She saw from the corner of her eyes that the half of her guards were piling up by the side of the training yard. They had worried expressions on their face, they were afraid of injuring the fragile princess, or so Yong Sun assumed.

“I did dare say those words and as a woman of my word, let my guards charge at me and let’s see what happens.” She said unsheathing her sword. Once again laughter filled the courtyard but her father looked at her furiously, obviously mad at her for speaking out like that, and gave the orders for guards to attack.

Yong Sun turned t the guard who was coming towards her, his walk unsure and his expression fearful. He knew that if he injured the girl, his job and life would be over. She smiled at him and whispered. “I wont show mercy, Young Jae-sshi.”

She took a deep breath and pictured Byulyi in front of her. If she could spar with her, there was no way she couldn’t beat these wimpy boys.

She took her stance and waited for him to charge at her. He hesitantly swung his sword at her direction only to be met with hers who knocked his sword out of his hand in her first try. That was one of the hardest moves Byulyi drilled in her head, saying that if the opponent didn’t have a sword, they only had their thin neck on display.

She directed her sword at his throat with a smirk and waved the next guard over. Young Jae returned to the sides, looking shocked and ashamed.

Her fathers voice echoed through the yard. “Show no mercy! There will be no punishments in case of injuries! This is a duel, not a petty tea party.”

She got into position before the next guard, Jung Ho Seok, charged at her with an apologetic smile. After dodging his first attack with a cartwheel, she quickly swung her sword towards his sides. He was pretty quick to catch on to her attack but he couldn’t react in time properly and his block was weak. Noticing this, Yong Sun sped up and kicked his sword out of his hand. But she wasn’t enough to notice him doing the same. They both lacked weapons. Little did he know that in hand to hand combat, she was pretty gifted. Being lighter than most and also shorter, she was much faster at any attack she learned. Looking at him with determined eyes, she raised her fists and listened to another round of laughter ring in her ears. Ho Seok smirked and charged at her, trying to grab her wrist to twist it, but Yong Sun was quick to jump out of his way. Before he was able to do anything else, she jumped higher than she ever did before and kicked his face with all of her strength. As he stumbled back, holding his head, she jumped over his shoulder to stangle his neck with her legs.

He held his hands up in defeat.

As so did nine men after him. There was no longer laughter echoing, only silence with occasional whispering.

“Now, my King, if you are truly a man of your word, may I go and find my love, since you don’t seem to able to do it?” said Yong Sun, trying not to sound out of breath. After all, since the beginning of the war, she was only able to practice on her own, rarely.

Her father looked at her with gritted teeth and veins popping from his neck. “Fine. You may. But tell that boy when you find him, he never has a chance of becoming a general anymore.”

 


	24. Belonging To The Stars

Yong Sun hurriedly gathered her belongings, knowing that this was her last shot at freedom, her last chance to jump off and spread her wings. Hopefully Byulyi would be on the other end, arms open to catch her.

Looking around cautiously, Yong Sun reached under her bed and grabbed a wooden jewelry box. Her mind was always set on an escape plan since she was sixteen, her eyes never leaving her guard and her heart never once wavering. She gathered every piece of coin she could get her hands on. Every gold piece, jewelry gifts and all other valuable things she could get away with hiding. Her dream was to run away as far as she could, selling these things in her possession and never once letting go of Byul-ah’s hand.

Emptying everything in her box to a pouch she secured it by shoving it to the bottom of her bag. Not wanting the weight of her fancy clothes on her back, she gathered her simpler clothes. She would hop over to Byulyi’s house and beg for her clothes before she took off. They were a bit too loose on her but would allow her to move with comfort and without gathering attention.

Just before she took off, she paused at the door, reminiscing her memories, her childhood which she was abandoning at that second. She was surprised to feel nothing, only empty kindness and strict education.

Lastly, she set her crown on top of her bed, leaving her past behind her. There was not even an ounce of regret in her heart.

Just as she opened her door, she was faced with her father, who wore a sorrowful expression. Her heart suddenly filled with fear as his eyes traveled from her face to her crown which was abandoned on her bed.

“You are leaving for good, aren’t you?” he said, his voice low and full of regret.

“I am. I’ve given this life a chance, yet you shoved it away with the back of your hand. I won’t stay where I’m not happy.” She said, her voice barely a whisper. All the emotions she bottled up during all those years spilling through her eyes.

“I… wanted to say I am sorry.” He said, surprising Yong Sun. “I was never an attentive father, I should have cared for you, made sure that your siblings treated you as their equal, not left you alone due to your different mothers. I have made a lot of mistakes, but ignored them even though it affected you greatly. I’ve been bested by my own pride and refused you a chance at a great life. I am sorry.”

Yong Sun listened to her father, who stood in front of her without a crown, mostly in simple clothes. Her tears streamed down her face.

“Can you please consider coming back, with your loved one? Can you give me a chance to make things right?” he asked, eyes pleading. “I don’t know what came over me back there in the courtyard. I don’t know what made me lose my affection as a father. So please, my precious daughter, my sun, can you forgive your father?”

 

Yong Sun felt the weight of her bag on her back much more than before. As tears traveled their way through her face, she shook her head. “I never felt at home. I never felt like I’ve belonged to a place. Only thing that soothed me until I met Dae Hyun-ah was the night sky. I would cry myself to sleep, looking at stars, wondering why I’ve never met my mother. I would cry thinking about those ugly rumors about her.” She said, wiping her tears with her sleeve. Her father’s eyes had sadness seeping through. “But then, you blessed me with a young boy, a silly little child that brightened my life. I thank you for that and giving me a luxurious life but nothing else. I don’t wish for anything more than your approval for me to leave. I will find him and I will start a new life, away from here. I want to bury Princess Kim Yong Sun in the past and take my first breath as Moon Yong Sun. Can you at least give me that?”

His father hesitated for a moment, examining the situation in his head, emotions storming through his mind. And then he stepped aside.

“You can so as you please but I want you to know that you will always have a home here.” He said as he held out a pouch. “Take this and let the wind of fate sail you away my dearest child. I no longer will be an obstacle in your way.”

Yong Sun accepted his offer and with unsure movements, leaned to hug him. “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

Six days. Six days have passed since she hopped on a saddle and went off to find her love. Only lead she had was the location of the final battle, where Byulyi took a blow and went missing. If she was alive, she would be around there.

She looked around every village that was within a days travel and there was no clue so far. Sighing as she entered the small village she visited two days ago, she walked through the market place aimlessly. Maybe she should have searched differently. She always asked around for a Kim Dynasty soldier with a fatal wound but now that she realized, if someone had found her, they would know her secret during attempted healing.

Deciding to try out her new strategy she sat in a tea shop, ordering whatever she saw first on the sign. As the server brought her tea she tried to act casual.

“So, I hear that there was a woman fighting in the last battle. Is that true?” she asked, pretending to be interested in her book. “I would like to meet this insane woman but no one seems to know where she might be.”

The server looked at her with suspicion before answering.  “I heard no such thing, ma’am.” He bowed before retreating back to the kitchen.

 

Cursing her bad acting, Yong Sun sipped her tea slowly. She was about to leave when she heard a whisper.

“Unnie, look over here.”

She tried to locate the voice but at first it seemed like it was from thin air. Then she heard it again and this time she saw the little girl who looked at her from a rooftop. She smiled at the little girl, not over the age of five.

“Is your name Yong Sun?” she asked. Voice somehow sounding more determined and clear than any other adult Yong Sun had talked around the area. The girl’s hopeful tone made Yong Sun think that maybe, there’s still hope left in the world.

“Yes.” She answered, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

“Then follow me.”

With that she got up from her seat, heart trying to escape from her ribcage. There wasn’t any doubt in Yong Sun’s mind as she followed this unfamiliar child’s footsteps. She didn’t even ask where was she taking her, all was fine if the road lead to Byul Yi in the end.

They passed by various streets, each covered in mud and all kinds of garbage. It was a sight Yong Sun was highly unfamiliar with but when she spotted the way the little girl’s flimsy red dress came in contact with the ground. The dress got dirtier and dirtier as Yong Sun’s heart developed an emotion that’s far away from the disgust she had expected to feel at first due to her status as a princess. However, she was a bit sympathetic, a bit pitiful. She let the melancholic mix of emotions settle into the pit of her stomach and carried on.

There was so much she didn’t see of the world and so little she knew of it.

The bitter realization came to her as she watched the poor neighborhood the girl led them to. The buildings were in shreds and all the people she saw around was supporting the same expression

A little tired of the world, the war, everything.

She didn’t even realize the little girl stopped until she felt a tug on her sleeve, asking for attention. “Unnie, we’re here.”

Looking around she saw nothing but an old house, in a slightly better state than the others. The thought of going into a random house scared her suddenly. What if she was robbed… or worse?

But all her suspicions disappeared when the small girl talked again. “That unnie we found kept on mumbling _Yong Sun, Yong Sun, Yong Sun_ in her sleep. She must’ve have hit her head really hard, unnie!”

Relief washed over her and she barely found the strength to smile. “Should I knock on the door?”

She did as she said when she got a nod in return. A man who was probably in his 70’s answered the door, looking at the girl and Yong Sun several times with a quizzical expression.

“Grandpa, this is Yong Sun!”

The man’s face changed from dubious to surprised in a matter of seconds and finally he moved away from the door, unblocking the view to the inside of the house.

And that was how she found Byulyi, in a poor home, laying on a piece of cloth and stiches all over her stomach. She looked barely alive but to Yong Sun it was enough. There was a chance, a bright light leading to a better future.


	25. Bonding for Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys and gals and non-binary folk! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this story and putting up with me. I know this has been infuriating sometimes but if you're reading this, it means you made it! 
> 
> I applause you as you go and upvote this story *cough cough* sorry I meant to say love this story. yeah...
> 
> so thanks again and I will see you soon with another fic which I'm planning to write with your friendly neighbour Fromhogwarts (she says hi!)
> 
> It will be another Moonsun so stay tuned! I might write an epilogue for this. I wont be to self-promote my other story, at all.

Her initial response was dropping to her knees with relief. Yong Sun felt her heart beat with something other than worry and fear for the first time since she last saw Byulyi. Ignoring the little girl and her grandfather, she crawled next to her love and cried tears of joy. She was there, alive. Scarred, yes, but still breathing nonetheless. She was still not touching the muscular girl, unconsciously afraid that she would turn into dust like she was nothing but a mere dream toying with her heart strings.

She didn’t notice the others in the room. They gave her space and she took it gratefully. The little girl only touched her after an hour. She lightly tapped her shoulder, as if afraid she would break.

“Unnie, are you okay? Do you need anything?” she asked, voice nearly a whisper.

“Water would be great.” Yong Sun said, before realizing she didn’t know her little helper’s name. “What is your name, sweetheart?”

“Mi Na.” She said with a smile destined to brighten up the world before she hurried off to find water for her guest.

When Yong Sun was alone with the grandfather, she sat up straight. She was curious, it was unusual to find a female soldier but to heal her in secret was even more bizarre.

“Excuse me, sir. Can I ask some questions?” She spoke up, loud enough for him to acknowledge her presence.

“Sure, Yong Sun-sshi.” The old man said, sitting down. He groaned as his joins cracked loudly.

“Why didn’t you turn her in? It is forbidden for a woman to fight as you know.” She asked setting her hands on her lap.

“Useless rules don’t deserve obedience, that’s why.” He said angrily. “When the jackass king ordered every household to send their males, I knew I would die. Soldiers are ruthless, but enrolment officers are the worst. I tried to explain that I had no one but my daughter and my grandchild, they didn’t even listen. They tossed me the parchment and said if no one came to join the army with that piece of paper, my family would be exiled.”

He paused, coughing a few times before continuing. “My daughter dressed up as a man to save my old neck, she took off one night, leaving me with my granddaughter. That is why I would never abandon someone who was honourable enough to risk their own life to fight for their country.” He said, looking down to where Byulyi was with a proud smile. “She was barely breathing when I saw her. She was among a pile of corpses; a horrid slash was making her bleed out. I carried her back here in secret, for the sake of my own daughter. Maybe I could save one of them.”

Yong Sun wiped her tears with her sleeve and bowed deeply. “I can’t ever thank you enough for saving Byul-ah.” She said, her voice shaky. “Is there a way I can repay you?”

The old man looked at the door with caution as if to see if there was anyone listening. “There is actually.” He said, gesturing her to come closer. Yong Sun hurried to her feet and went to his side. “I am not very healthy, I can feel my days coming to an end. Mi Na has no one else but me. Can you please take her with you to wherever you’re going when she wakes up? I know it is a lot to ask for you to adopt a child, but I am desperate. I don’t want her to see me die or be taken by an orphanage.”

Yong Sun was taken by surprise by this offer. The old man’s eyes were wet with the promise of tears. He was sincere.

She went silent for a moment, thinking everything through. There was no doubt that they would marry, and Yong Sun knew they would never have children but at that second fate was offering her a chance to be a mother. She always knew she would have kids someday, she often daydreamed about being a completely different mother than her own. The little girl’s smile came to her mind, her red, dirty little dress and sparkling eyes. Her mind filled with the images of a happy family portrait with her, Byul-ah and Mi Na. How could she turn down such an offer?

She smiled and held the old man’s hands. “I would be glad to raise such a beautiful, intelligent little lady such as Mi Na. Don’t you worry about her.” She assured the old man.

“Thank you Yong Sun-sshi.” He said with tears down his face. “I can say my goodbye to this world in peace.”

 

* * *

 

A few days went by until Byulyi woke up. She had feverous days and nights, worrying Yong Sun to insanity. When she wasn’t looking after Byul, Yong Sun was spending time with the little girl, taking her into the town, buying her all sorts of stuff and spoiling Mi Na shamelessly. Even in a few days, she was in love with the little girl. Everything she did looked cute and everything she said was amazing. Yong Sun never felt so confident in a decision she made before. She would be a mother to this adorable girl and love every single moment of it.

It was when they came back from a play in town. Mi Na was excitedly talking about the play, when they reached the house. Yong Sun pushed the door and stepped inside. There Byulyi was, sitting up with a steaming tea in her hand, eyes wide open with surprise. She set her tea down before speaking.

“Noona?” She said, looking like she didn’t even believe her own eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Yong Sun smiled widely before throwing herself in Byulyi’s arms. “You worried me so much, Byul-ah.” She whispered in her shoulder. “I thought I lost you forever.”

Byulyi, even though she still didn’t believe the reality of the situation fully, wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, her heart beating with such strong determination that made her forget the pain in her stomach.

“You… You were worried?” she asked, her voice smaller than ever.

Yong Sun rolled her eyes and lightly slapped the guard’s arm. “Of course, you idiot. How could I not be?”

Byulyi frowned before asking. “You didn’t read my letter, did you?”

Yong Sun looked back at Mi Na and her grandfather. “Can you please excuse us for a few minutes?” She asked and didn’t say a word until they were all alone. “I did read it, I cried but also realized that I couldn’t care less about what’s between your legs. I only cared for your heart and your love.”

The look in Byulyi’s eyes held emotions Yong Sun couldn’t put into words. She was visibly happy but the tiniest of glints in her eyes also gave hints to a part of her that was sorry for her gender. In her eyes, she disappointed them both by being a girl. Sometimes Yong Sun wanted to slap her self-doubt out of her.

“Your sister, Tae Yeon-unnie, came by to talk and didn’t leave me alone after that. she said you asked her to take care of me, I am thankful for that. She’s a great sister.” Yong Sun said, caressing Byul’s cheek with her hand while they cuddled. “And she gave me a book…”

After remembering the book she left to her, Byulyi blushed like a rose. “I left that book for self-realization. Don’t take it the wrong way, I can’t control _everything_ the book has.”

Yong Sun giggled, a blush adoring her cheeks too. “Why not? These things are natural when accompanied by love.” She said, her hand which was already caressing Byulyi’s cheek was brushing by her lips and her other hand was drawing circles on her back. “If you don’t want any off that, I will be understanding, of course.”

Byulyi’s eyes were wide open, her hands frozen around Yong Sun’s waist. “I-I… not that I don’t want it. I didn’t mean to scare you off.” Byulyi said, her eyes avoiding hers. “My intention wasn’t suggestive.”

“What a shame, I liked thinking it was.” Yong Sun said, looking at Byulyi under her eyelashes. “Especially the part in that cave they ran off together was really… _an example of good literature_. Don’t you agree, Byul-ah?”

Burying her face in Yong Sun’s shoulder with embarrassment, Byul mumbled something.

“What is it, Byul-ah?” Yong Sun asked, lifting her chin up with her delicate fingers.

“Are you completely sure about this, about us?” Byul said, not looking in her eyes. “You have to know the outcome of this decision of yours. We can never have children, we have to be secretive for our entire life and if somebody finds out, your father will probably kill us both.”

Yong Sun sighed deeply before grabbing Byul’s hands with confidence. “We don’t have to be secretive if you want. We’re not going back to the palace. I fought with my father, he refused to send out men to look for you and I said he should let me do it. He laughed at me and dared me to beat up my own guards in order to go. I did. And he knew I would never come back. He even gave me gold to apologize for his parenting. So, we don’t have to worry about that. And about children… I don’t know about you, but a daughter is more than enough for me.”

Byulyi raised her eyebrows in confusion and Yong Sun retold the entire story of their adoption. “So that’s why, technically we already have a child.”

Byulyi’s smile was unbelievably wide as she hugged her beloved. “I love you so much, unnie. So much that I can’t even think about anything else when I’m with you.” She said, hugging her closer than ever. “Your presence is so captivating and addicting that I can’t get enough of you.”

Her words becoming whisper like at the end, Byulyi leaned in with vulnerable eyes to kiss her princess for the first time without any secrets holding her back. Lips dancing to a tune of their own, hearts beating alongside it, Byulyi and Yong Sun managed to be properly happy for the first time. They weren’t in a palace, drowning in luxury. Quite the contrary, they were in one of the poorest neighbourhoods in the kingdom. Yet their smiles were beyond materialistic existence, it was on a spiritual level, their souls were bonding for an eternity.

It was Byulyi who broke the warm, familiar silence between them.

“So what is our daughter like?”

 

* * *

 

It took a lot of convincing to take the little girl with them. They stayed there for another two weeks for Byulyi to get familiar with Mi Na. She liked both of her unnies but when they finally brought up the adoption to the little girl she threw a fit, saying that she already had her grandpa. She even cried but when her grandpa talked to her alone for a few minutes, she calmed down and came to their side. Yong Sun would never forget her face back then.

“I wish death would stop stealing my family.” She whispered in a small voice when she waved goodbye to her grandpa who was even struggling to stand up.

Yong Sun hugged her and held her with Byulyi until she stopped crying.

“Mi Na, smile because bright days are on the horizon from now on. Your family will always be there for you, as we also will.”

When Yong Sun thought about it, the part of adopting she feared the most was the easiest one after all. She was afraid that the little girl would hate them for loving women and being together but when they sat the little girl down during a break they took on their journey she surprised them.

“Mi Na, honey, you know that we are both girls, right?” Started Byulyi, cautiously speaking. “And that I’ve been pretending to be a man my entire life?”

Mi Na nodded as she bit into her apple. “Yes, unnie. I know.” She said smiling. “And I’m also a girl, did you know that?”

Yong Sun giggled. “Yes, sweetheart, we know that.” she said pinching the little girl’s cheeks. “What do you know about love and marriage, Mi Na?”

She stopped to think before answering. “Love is when two people kiss, and marriage is to have kids. I think.” She said proudly, she was so sure of her answer.

“Those are correct but let me elaborate. Love is a warm feeling between people, dear, you love your grandpa, we love you, we love each other. When two people love each other in a different way, they get married. They can have children, but it is not necessary. Do you understand?” Asked Byulyi. Her eyes were filled with fear that the little girl would reject them.

Mi Na just shrugged and smiled. “Okay. I get it. You love each other, and you will get married.” She said getting up. “Can I go and pet the horse now?”

Yong Sun smiled at the girl, ruffling her hair. “Of course, honey.”

As they looked after the little girl, skipping towards the horse, they hugged each other.

“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Asked Byulyi, her face buried in Yong Sun’s hair. “She was pretty understanding.”

“She was.” Yong Sun answered. “I love her so much, Byul-ah. She’s such an angel!”

 

* * *

 

“Unnie! Welcome!”

Yong Sun heard a voice shriek as she got off her horse. Byulyi had a destination in mind to settle and Yong Sun didn’t even question her. She should have known something was off.

“Whee In-ah, look at you! So beautiful, so grown up!” Said Byulyi, hugging the younger girl with joy. Yong Sun stood a few steps ahead, holding Mi Na’s hand and frowning. Whee In didn’t notice her yet.

“So, unnie, you finally got over the princess and decided to run away.” She said hooking arms with Yong Sun’s lover. Irritated, Yong Sun coughed to get their attention.

“Actually, my dear deceased Whee In, she can never get over me. Maybe under me but never over.” She said folding her arms. Whee In’s eyes widened with surprise before running towards the princess, screaming like a banshee in the process.

“Unnie! I thought I’d never see you again! So, you finally learned her secret, huh?” She said hugging her tightly, crushing her bones in the process. “I am so happy for you two. You were such drama back in the day, even I was feeling depressed because of you.”

As Whee In rambled on, another girl walked towards them, her long black hair moving with the wind.

“Unnie, welcome to our home.” The other girl said, hugging Byulyi. “Is this the princess I’ve heard about a thousand times?”

“Ah, you must be the lover of Whee In. I’m Kim Yong Sun and your name is…?”

“Ahn Hye Jin.” She said bowing slightly. “Last time I heard, you still liked man.”

“Well, last time, I liked Dae Hyun, who I assumed was a man. But turns out Byulyi’s not a man so…” She said as she shrugged.

The younger couple looked at them with confusion. “Byulyi?”

Byulyi laughed before she explained. “Dae Hyun is the name my father gave his son. Byulyi is the name my mother gave to me, her daughter.”

 

After chatting and having tea for a few hours, it was safe to say that the young couple was thrilled to have another couple living close to them.

“Let me, Yong Sun and Mi Na stay here for a couple of days, until I find a house to live in and have a dojo in.” Byulyi said, setting down her tea. “I realized that I know nothing else but fighting so…”

Yong Sun lightly slapped her arm. “That’s not true, you also know how to annoy people to insanity. Don’t sell yourself short, sweetie.”

“Of course, you can stay with us, unnie.” Said Whee In getting up. “Come on, I’ll show your rooms.”

 

After they settled into their rooms, Byul and Yong Sun in one and Mi Na in the next room, there was a peaceful silence. As they laid down, Byulyi rested her head on Yong Sun’s chest, hugging her waist. Yong Sun’s arms went around her guard’s shoulders as she rested her chin on her head.

“Are you asleep, Byul-ah?” Asked Yong Sun with a whisper.

“How can I be when you’re this close to me?” Byulyi said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Stop being so greasy.” Yong Sun said, slapping the girl’s arm.

“Do you think I’m joking? Go on, feel my heart beat. It’s going crazy for you.” Byulyi said, guiding the princess’s hand to her chest. Yong Sun blushed as her hand settled on the girl’s breast.  

“Such cheap tricks to get me in bed, Byul-ah. I won’t fall for it.” She said, dangerously close to Byulyi’s face.

Byulyi sighed before she pecked her lips lightly. “But you already fell in my bed.”

Yong Sun giggled before kissing Byul once again. “Be quiet, we have a child next door.” She said, whispering in her ear.

“How about I have something occupying my mouth, you know, in order to be quiet?” Byul asked suggestively, as she lifted Yong Sun’s shirt. “Oh, and you should be quite too. I won’t make it easy for you though.”

Yong Sun wanting to wipe that smirk off Byul’s face was the last coherent thought she could come up with for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the end :') I'm a bit emotional but I feel much more relieved. I can finally do other things. 
> 
> Once again thank you for all your support. Seeing your comments made my days. I tried to answer or acknowledge every one of them but if I missed yours I'm sorry. 
> 
> thnak you and wait for an epilogue-esque self-promotion ;)
> 
> love you, people!
> 
> bye now :)


	26. Epilogue: After All These Years

**Hellllllloooooo people! I am back with an epilogue ~~and a self promotion~~**

**~~~~How are you all doing? I'm fine, life moves on and I'm writing a new story with @fromhogwarts and I thought 'Hey! I know at least 1000 people who would enjoy another Moonsun story!'  
**

**so yeah go and check it out. It has a modern setting, Byulyi is a rich girl who has been cut off from her family and money after she came out and Yongsun is a financially struggling last year in a university with several jobs. It has a slow pace, and it's really realistic. We didn't want to do the whole ' we met- we fell in love- we admitted it after some sort of conflict- happy end' type of story. It has other elements as well. I've seen familiar faces from here in the comments section and I wanted to say thank you for reading both and if you haven't yet here is the link to it ;[Introspection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13517727/chapters/31005960)**

**and here you go, enjoy!**

 

* * *

 

Byul Yi looked around for her daughter, she had gone to bring her some water ten minutes ago but hadn’t come back yet. Her sweat rolled down her neck as she gestured her students to take a break.

“Mi Na! Where did you go?” She yelled into the house, rolling her eyes as the teenager ran towards her in a hurry.

“Sorry. I got caught up with mom’s classes.” She said as she handed her a water jug. “Here you go.”

Byul Yi smiled at her and grabbed the bottle, ruffling her hair at the same time. “Don’t stall next time.” She said chugging the water down. “Now, go help your mom.”

Ever since they opened their dojo, their reputation became widely known throughout the land. It first started with Byulyi teaching the boys in town but then her reputation as the swords master Moon Byul Gi. She still lived as a man, she didn’t know any other way of living anyways.

After two years of running the dojo, she and Yongsun agreed on educating willing girls on everything from combat to palace etiquette. Fighting part was still a secret of course.

She went around the country to find students and managed to get the word to twenty girls and convinced their families using the princess card.

Years passed and now their dojo and ‘lady school’ were one of the most prestigious establishments in the kingdom and nobles from everywhere sent their kids to them. Yongsun was always childishly giddy when she educated young girls with oppressive families, she always said she felt like she was helping them build a future that didn’t lean onto anything.

Their students were probably suspicious of Byul Yi, but no one ever said anything, it was hard to speak up against someone that had her reputation.

Byul Yi looked after her daughter, who was skipping towards the girl’s side of the building. Byul Yi nearly spent all their money building this place but, in the end, it was all worth it. She yelled after her sixteen-year-old child. “Tell her I’ve finished the third set with the boys.”

Byul Yi stretched her arms as she stepped back onto the training area. “Let’s move on to hand -to-hand now, shall we?”

 

* * *

 

Yong Sun smiled brightly at her youngest student, who was a seven-year-old noble girl named Seul Gi, as she picked the sword which was exceeding her height.

“Now, now, Seul-ah, pick something more reasonable and smart. The key is not looking strong or having the biggest sword. It’s about strategy and wit. If you can find an opening and use it, it doesn’t matter who is on the pointy end of your sword.”

“Now, girls, let’s go over the fourth set once again. Get in position.” She said clapping her hands to get them in line. “Attack.” Clashing sounds filled their garden as girls from varying ages and places pointed their blunt swords at each other in a dance like formation.

“Bong Cha, your stance is off. Choon Hee, keep your guard up.” She commented as she walked past them. “Eun Jung, your sword is not fragile, be more aggressive.”

Her session went on for a good forty-five minutes before Mi Na came back. She got closer to Yong Sun who was watching her exhausted students try and keep up their performance with a proud smile.

“Mom said she finished the third set with the boys.” Mi Na said to her in a muffled voice accompanied with a smirk. “They are so slow.”

Yong Sun laughed and gave her daughter her own blunt sword. “Take over for a while and give them a break in five minutes. Hand-to-hand after that.”

Yong Sun wiped her burrow with a piece of cloth she had hung on the balcony. She made her way towards the boy’s side and smiled when her eyes met with the familiar view. Byul was giving instructions on a high kick as the boys looked at her with awe written all over their faces.

“Rotate your hips at the same time. Results will be better.” She said with her usual friendly yet demanding teaching voice. She apparently didn’t notice Yong Sun and just sat on the steps that connected the area to the classrooms inside. Yong Sun came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

“You just finished the third? What were you doing slacking off this much?” She teased, talking in a teasing voice. “Are you getting old by any chance, Byul-ah?”

“I make sure they master the moves before moving on, your highness.” She said turning her head to the side smiling at the woman hugging her. “I wouldn’t want to see the state of your students after such a sloppy, rushed training.”

Yong Sun slapped her arm and sat down next to her. “My students are the best you’ll ever see. You can’t criticize me just because your boys are slow.”

“Uhm, Byul Gi-seonsaengnim, what should we do now?” asked a nervous boy, coming up to them in doubt.

“Go and partner up, fight until one of you remains. Those who can hold until the last four will get a special award. Alright, Chung Ae?”

The boys nodded enthusiastically and bowed. “Yes, sir.”

Byul Yi chuckled as she got up on her feet and summoned one of the older boys who had been here the longest.

“Myung Dae, I’ll be by the entrance for a bit, look over them and make sure they don’t cheat or fight for real.”

The boy bowed in obedience and Byul Yi took the hand of her wife, leaving the class behind.

“I get tired more easily nowadays, unnie. Maybe I really am getting old.” Byul Yi said holding her back to demonstrate.

“You probably pulled a muscle, don’t get cranky yet.” Yong Sun said wrapping her arms around her waist. “I’ve missed this, y’know.”

Byul Yi looked into her eyes with wonder, only the sound of birds and distant chatter in the air. “Miss what?”

“Being alone, some peace and quiet...” She said, caressing her cheeks with a loving gaze. “Having some time to appreciate my wife.”

“I know unnie, I’m trying to be less busy, but you know those parents and their demanding attitudes.” Byul Yi says rubbing soothing circles on Yong Sun’s back. “They just can’t leave us alone for a second.”

Yong Sun laughs a little then wiggles her eyebrows. “We are alone now.”

Byul Yi looks around if there is anyone there but they are completely isolated. “Maybe we can take a… relaxing break for an hour.”

Yong Sun giggles as she drags Byul Yi to their room which was a few rooms away from the entrance. When they finally closed the door, Yong Sun grabbed Byul Yi’s face and kissed her passionately. Minutes passed with air filled with their heavy breathings and garments of clothing flying around, leaving them in a pile of fabric and desperate hands. Even after all those years Byul Yi managed to get Yong Sun excited like a teenager.

A moan escaped Yong Sun’s mouth as Byulyi looked up at her with a smirk, hands in places that Yong Sun got even hotter thinking about.

“Getting a little controlling eh, little one?” Asked Yong Sun casually, she wouldn’t give up that easily.

“If you are this able to make coherent sentences, it means that I’m not controlling enough.” Byul Yi said ducking her head where her hands were already messing around. Yong Sun was a putty after that.

After a good half an hour, only thing they could hear was the other’s uncontrollable breathing.

“You aren’t getting old, honey. Trust me.” Said Yong Sun laughing between breaths. “You only age like wine, better and more dizzying with time.”

They held each other for what seemed like an eternity until they heard a voice from the outside.

“Mom? Other Mom? Someone’s here to enroll their kids. He’s demanding to see Moon Byul Gi.”

Byul Yi sighed as she got up from the ground, hastily putting her clothes back on and pulling herself together as much as possible.

“How do I look?” She asked Yong Sun before opening the door.

“Like your world was rocked minutes ago.”

“It was but they don’t need to know that my wife has a never-ending stamina.” Byul Yi whined as she gestured for her wife to fix her up. Yong Sun got up rolling her eyes as she slipped on a loose robe. Byul Yi whines at this, earning a shoulder slap from a giggling Yong Sun.

“Go and do your job, Moon Byul Gi.”

Byul Yi grabbed her face and kissed her lightly one last time before getting out of the room. Yong Sun winked at her before closing the door behind her. Byul Yi pulled herself together and put on her swordmaster face.

“Welcome to my dojo and Princess Yong Sun’s Girl’s School. How may we help you?” She asked to the man who’s back was turned to her.

“Actually, Dae Hyun-ah, I’m here to enroll my daughter and my son.” said the man tuning to her with a wide smile. Byul Yi’s eyes widened as she recognized the man. Lee Min Hyuk.

She ran to him, even though she knew that this was highly inappropriate, and threw her arms around him. “Hyung!”

Min Hyuk laughed wrapping his arms around her a bit cautiously. “Hello, Byul-ah.”

Byul Yi broke their embrace, mainly because she realized what she was doing, and took a step back. “How did you find me?”

“Well, reputation of a swordmaster named Moon Byul Gi and the former princess Yong Sun was a pretty obvious hint.” He said smiling. Then she hit her head lightly. “That’s for never even writing a letter, you brat.”

“If I remember correctly, you said we should stop meeting for good.” Said Byul Yi slapping his arm. ” It’s your fault.”

“Might be.” He said crossing his arms. “Doesn’t matter, I’m older, you should apologize.”

Byul Yi rolled her eyes and lead him to the training area’s balcony. “Eun Ae, be a dear and bring us some tea, will you?” She ordered one of the maids as they settled on the cushions positioned so that she could sit and enjoy her tea while still examining her students.

“Where is your kids?” Byul Yi asked curiously. “You said you were here to enroll them?”

Min Hyuk pointed towards the girl’s side. “A girl named Mi Na took them on a tour.”

Byul Yi smiled at him. “That’s our daughter.”

Min Hyuk had an expression on his face that was pretty easy to read; he wanted to ask, he was confused but was afraid to do so. Byul Yi laughed at him, watching Eun Ae put their tea on the table with a thank you spilling from her lips. “Her mother died at the war and we adopted her years ago.”

Min Hyuk sipped his tea nodding, turning his head when he heard footsteps behind them.

“Byul-ah, who is it?” said Yong Sun, her looks not giving away their activity. The moment she saw Min Hyuk, a look of surprise adorned her face. “Lee Min Hyuk-sshi?”

“Hello, your highness.” Min Hyuk said quickly getting up and bowing. Yong un giggled and shook her head.

“I’m not much of a princess anymore, Min Hyuk-sshi. You don’t need to do that.”

Yong Sun sat with them to have tea too, chatting with Min Hyuk and her wife casually. It felt nice, not hiding who they were from the person in front of them.

“So, should I be assuming that you won’t be teaching my daughter only manners and palace etiquette?” Min Hyuk asked raising his eyebrows at Yong Sun.

“She’s in for much more than that.” Said Yong Sun smiling mysteriously as she sipped her tea.

“I was hoping for that.”

 

* * *

 

“You should’ve stayed longer, hyung.” Byul Yi said as she helped him mount his horse.

He smiled down at her, grabbing the reins. “I have a wife and two smaller kids back home too. I’ll come back in two months to get them. I’ll see you then.”

Byul Yi is left there only to wave after him. Her trance gets interrupted when someone clears their throat. “Seonsaeng-nim? I brought your letters.” said the delivery boy bowing slightly.

Byul Yi grabbed the bulk of letters and thanked the boy, getting back inside. A lot of them from families, asking about their children and when their payment was due. However, the last one made Byul Yi smile widely. It was from her unnie, Moon Tae Yeon.

Since their father’s death five years after Dae Hyun disappeared, Tae Yeon choose not to marry and took her share of the household money and hit the road. She was determined to travel to all the places she read about. She constantly wrote to them, the time and distance between letters got longer and further during the years but this one announced great news. She was coming to visit. Byul Yi ran back inside, breaking the news to an excited Yong Sun.

Things were good.

Life was peaceful.

They were happy.

All was well.


End file.
